It’s the Season 5 finale(!) and we’re celebrating by asking each other some big, weird, and delicious questions, including: -End-of-life wishes -What our teenage selves needed to hear -The worst snack food -Our super-hero figurine selves, and what they are bringing into battle ✨ Plus, all summer long we’re re-releasing some of our most beloved episodes—so whether you’re new here or a longtime listener, there’s magic coming your way. Meanwhile, we're scheming up BIG things for the fall, so stay tuned. We love you!!
It’s the Season 5 finale(!) and we’re celebrating by asking each other some big, weird, and delicious questions, including:
-End-of-life wishes
-What our teenage selves needed to hear
-The worst snack food
-Our super-hero figurine selves, and what they are bringing into battle
✨ Plus, all summer long we’re re-releasing some of our most beloved episodes—so whether you’re new here or a longtime listener, there’s magic coming your way. Meanwhile, we're scheming up BIG things for the fall, so stay tuned.
We love you!!
https://www.instagram.com/caratruth/
https://www.caralai.org/
Eva's instagram: @iamevaliao
Book a discovery call with Eva
Pocket Mentor(Friend)ship- Eva's Newest Offering!
Kyley's Instagram: @kyleycaldwell
Money Magic Free 2-Day Workshop
Eva: [00:00:00] Hello. Hell Universe, Kyley, and Eva here to celebrate the season finale of season five.
Kyley: Like that. We synced thatd
Eva: Yes,
Kyley: than syncing your periods. We're syncing our whoop. Whoops.
Eva: sign of True Friendship right
Kyley: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Eva: nce. Um, okay, Kyley, do you wanna share with folks what we're gonna be doing today? I.
Kyley: Okay. So, uh, we are gonna throw a little, a little podcast style [00:01:00] party. Uh, and I have one of those decks of conversation starters, which are actually good. I mean, I have to say, if anyone who's ever used like conversation starter decks, a lot of them have very terrible questions. But if I ever find one of those that has good questions, I get very excited to buy them.
Kyley: And I recently bought this on a trip to New York City and so, uh, we're gonna do
Eva: I'll be the judge of that. We're gonna test these out because I love these conversation starter packs. I think they're so cute, like little cards, but yeah, some of them are terrible, so I kind of wanna see what we get to learn about each other. This is fun.
Kyley: we're gonna, yeah, we're gonna, we're gonna like popcorn style, ask a bunch of questions and see where we go. And
Eva: fun.
Kyley: and I didn't pick these questions either, like randomly selected by the universe. And Eva for this game has been given veto power, so I'm gonna pull a card and read it, and if Eva doesn't wanna answer it, we're not answering it.
Kyley: Um, uh, so, and also, if anyone's curious, this particular deck is called the delve deck, and it has like, like surface level all the way down to deep level. It's like broken into four categories. And [00:02:00] unsurprisingly, I'm just going straight to the deep level. I'm not
Eva: Oh, of course, of course. Oh, but I love the surfing ones too. I'm actually getting really excited about this
Kyley: Okay, good. I mean, I can, I can
Eva: could be to do with other people too.
Kyley: I can, I can, we can vary up the, the theme, but I'm gonna go with the surface level, the deepest one first, and then
Eva: Of course. It wouldn't be Hello Universe if we weren't going deep right away.
Kyley: Yes. Um, so Eva, my love, if you could choose your manner of death. By the way, if anyone wants to like DM us your answers to these questions, we definitely wanna know if you could choose your manner of death, what would you select?
Eva: Oh, this one's so easy for me. I already know. I've thought about it a million times. I wanna just die peacefully in my sleep. Like, I want it to be easy, painless, quick, quick. I don't wanna have some long drawn out, fucking drawn out fucking illness thing. I don't wanna die from some freak accident where everyone's surprised.
Eva: Anyone who's left behind me is in like Ms. Re and whatever. It's like, [00:03:00] no, she passed away. It's honestly, I think it's such a, you're a lucky mofo if you get to pass away peacefully in your sleep.
Kyley: Do you want to have a chance to say goodbye? I think that's the thing that I think about. Like would I, I mean, yes, I agree on all of that, but then also I think I. About like, you know, Nick's grandfather who was found out he had cancer and then died two weeks later. So he got this like right in the moment.
Kyley: The, the opportunity to like have your meaningful goodbyes and
Eva: mm.
Kyley: like, and then also thinking about you and I and the type B fun people, we are like, do you wanna be conscious of the fact or do you wanna be like, present and in the process of like, oh, this is me dying now and go through that whole emotional thing.
Kyley: I don't want it to, to your point of like years of suffering
Eva: Mm-hmm.
Kyley: I would prefer to opt out of, but uh, but
Eva: Yeah,
Kyley: conscious about the fact? Do you get what I'm saying?
Eva: I do. Yeah. You're bringing [00:04:00] like a lay, a level of depth, depth to this question that I like didn't think of when I just, you know, shot off my answer very quickly. But I am imagining when I say I die in my sleep, like I'm old and I've like lived my life, you know, this isn't happening like. Next week. Um, so I think it depends on the circumstances, right?
Eva: Like it really depends on the circumstances. If I'm dying in my sleep because I'm old, chances are I'm like ready. I'm, I'm like an old grandma by grandma, you know, not necessarily having kids, but I'm like, grandma style, age, and I'm ready to go. And I'm like, and I've said my goodbyes. And, um, and I think your question about, yeah, do I want to experience what's happening, like from a spiritual perspective, I think that's really interesting, right?
Eva: To like be aware and cognizant of things of mechanics, like not working and like the whole process. But I think that also happens. Like that's just say I'm like in my eighties, that's probably gonna be happening already, you know, like
Kyley: girlfriend. Based on your family, [00:05:00] you're gonna be like 140.
Eva: Oh my god. I know. I'm terrified. I'm like, fuck dude. Oh seriously, Asian genes.
Eva: Um, so yeah.
Kyley: don't know Eva's, like all of her grandparents except for one are living and your grandparent who passed away, it was just like a year ago,
Eva: Yeah, all four. It's crazy and yeah, we've got good genes. Um, so yeah, I'd wanna be able to say like goodbye. I wouldn't want it to happen suddenly, but if it, if it had to happen suddenly, also like asleep peacefully in my bed would be great. Yeah. Or you know, even as I'm saying this, I'm like, some parties be like, it would be great to go out like wild and crazy with like a bunch of strippers and like going, I dunno, I've thought about morphine or I've thought about morphine a lot actually.
Eva: Like if I was sick I would love to be pumped full of freaking morphine and just feel so good. And that would be awesome too if I was in pain and just like have a good time. 'cause like falls to the wall, who fucking cares? Like, that'd [00:06:00] be great too. But I don't
Kyley: am so glad we're doing this and I might not need to do this episode annually. I'm already in love with this.
Eva: like also thinking about could, going the total direction, but you know, by that time I might not have it in me. So anyway, that's my answer. What about you? Are we doing this where I ask you the same question
Kyley: I think so. I think
Eva: Okay, great. Yeah. What about you Kyley?
Kyley: uh, I, I, when I have contemplated this question, I usually come down to really liking the idea of knowing that I'm dying and having like two weeks to, you know, to say my goodbyes, right?
Kyley: Not some long drawn out process, but the, um, but the opportunity to have like meaningful moments with like my children or whatever. And also, uh, and I, I really, this is an interesting thing that came in somewhat recently, but I was thinking how much we fear [00:07:00] death, whether consciously or unconsciously. And then from a, and I did have the thought about it from a spiritual perspective, I.
Kyley: When it's actually happening, it must be so rich. Right? And it must be like something kind of beautiful and, and so I think I do wanna be aware of it, even though I don't want to be Yeah. Like, you know, we all know people who've had a lot of physical pain and suffering for a long time. But I think I would like, I Ima I, I, I imagine me evolved even more, even more of me 40, 50 years from now, 60 years from now being like down for the intensity of like, the emotional journey of death.
Eva: I could totally see that. Of
Kyley: I think I probably actually wouldn't wanna like, miss being able to observe it. I guess what I'm trying to say is I think, I think there's probably a part of me that would like to savor death when it happens.
Eva: Hmm. [00:08:00] Wow. I really like that. I think there's a lot of wisdom in that, like that it, 'cause I think it can be savored instead of like, and that's actually how we stop suffering. I think if we are like so terrified that we're constantly, we're constantly running away and avoiding and we haven't faced our fears, it can be excruciating.
Eva: But when we move all past that, I think you really can savor it. And I think Ram Das has a book, we're all just walking each other home. It's about his work and helping people at the end of life. And he speaks on that. And yeah, I think you're onto something. I think it could be really beautiful.
Kyley: when I've, and I, I say that based on like some documentaries I've watched by, by death doulas and Right.
Eva: Hmm.
Kyley: when I've, whenever I've engaged with material of people who seem like they are really beautifully embodied about death and what it means to die, there is a, there's something, there's something like that in, in there.
Kyley: Um. So, I don't know. Also a long time from now, that's my old [00:09:00] if I'm scripting and placing my request a long time from
Eva: Yeah.
Kyley: Uh,
Eva: Cool. Next. That
Kyley: Next. Um, All right, listeners, we're gonna now shift gears to do surface level. What popular junk food has no appeal for you?
Eva: Oh, I'm thinking about skipping this one. 'cause I don't have an immediate answer. I'm like, wait. I'm sure you do.
Kyley: I hate flavored chips, blah.
Eva: You do.
Kyley: Yep. I knew you were gonna have that response. I knew you were gonna have that response.
Eva: Doritos are my
Kyley: Well, okay. Doritos are different. Doritos are like Doritos. That's like, they're not even really, they're like a different class, but I mean, flavored potato chips,
Eva: Oh. Like
Kyley: sour and onion barbecue.
Eva: vinegar? Oh, do you like the vinegar? I love, no, I love the vinegar.
Kyley: nope. This is the thing about me. I'm kind of a food. This feels very Taurus. I'm kind of a food purist. Like I don't want, if I get a, if I get a hamburger for example, or cheeseburger, I don't want a cheeseburger with [00:10:00] bunch of shit on it. I want a really good burger. Cooked very well with very good cheese and a good bun.
Kyley: Like I don't, don't mask your mediocre burger with a whole bunch of fucking add-ons.
Eva: But what about the lettuce and tomato
Kyley: that's fine. Lettuce and tomatoes fine,
Eva: yeah. Okay.
Kyley: but I can, I can skip them. I don't like bake it on it like,
Eva: Yeah, no, I, I hear you. I, I, I, yeah, I'm with you on that.
Kyley: so I feel the same way about potato chips. Like don't fuck around with all these like extra flavors that are just weird.
Kyley: Make a good potato chip and get the fuck outta the way.
Eva: Gotcha. Gotcha. No, I think that's fair. I think that's fair in, it's just so, okay. It's just interesting. Asia would be like so weird to you 'cause they've got all the weird seafood flavor chips, steak,
Kyley: are gonna be in heaven when we visit you in
Eva: yeah, yeah, yeah. Um. For my answer, I was just thinking like some, like there's a lot of candy that I'm just not into.
Eva: I'm not a big candy person because I'm not actually, oh, I know. Here's one that's, I don't like chocolate. Did you know that?
Kyley: I didn't know [00:11:00] that.
Eva: Okay. We're learning. We're learning about it. I only when I'm on my moon or my cycle, then hormones totally switch and I'm like all, you know, I crave it hardcore and I find it so comforting, but generally I hate the way that Cho and it's so weird.
Eva: And then right, the minute my period's done, I fucking hate the way chocolate feels in my mouth. I think it's disgusting.
Kyley: That's fascinating.
Eva: rich. It's so like, ugh. Unless sometimes it's okay with, there's like some nuts, like maybe I can fuck with some peanut butter m and ms, but maybe I'll eat some like chocolate with some walnuts.
Eva: But I don't like chocolate and I love chocolate. Ice cream, chocolate. Rocky R is my favorite flavor. It's just the tech that that overly sweet, rich feeling of chocolate and t melting in my mouth is, I don't like it.
Kyley: that's fascinating. Particularly like turning on and then immediately going away.
Eva: Yeah. Is that so weird? Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Kyley: Yeah. I'm not one of those people who's like, obsessed with chocolate. Like, uh, my, my childhood best friend, like, just wants like chocolate, chocolate, chocolate, you know, like, uh. But [00:12:00] I do really love a, like, really nice chocolate bar.
Eva: Mm-hmm.
Kyley: uh, I, I, it's definitely, it's definitely a treat. I enjoy, I like learning things about each other. This is what happens when you're besties over Zoom is you
Eva: Yeah, exactly.
Kyley: when Eva, please know that when Eva and I got to hang out in person, she got off the shuttle bus from the airport and immediately hugged my legs because she's like, I never get to see them.
Kyley: This is
Eva: I know. And I was like, and I forget that you're so tall and I love it, and I love your legs. I love the part of your body that holds up the part that I get to see.
Kyley: We're also quite tall. Um, oh, this is, okay. This is, this is mid-tier depth. What's the worst physical sensation? Like what's a physical sensation you don't enjoy?
Eva: Wow. Can I name a few?
Kyley: Yeah, go for it.
Eva: Oh, that is, this is an interesting question. It's like, how much body awareness do you have? Sinus infections, like that feeling of stinging in your face fucking sucks. Um, [00:13:00] when you act like with the grinding of teeth and when you like
Kyley: Everyone listening to this is like feeling very uncomfortable 'cause they're getting a version of this as they listen. Sorry,
Eva: Ugh. Like I, oh, I hate that feeling of grinding of teeth though. I do it sometimes and like some terrible, I mean, there are a lot of bad physical sensations. I like this question 'cause it's really like kind of making my brain work and think a little bit, um, oh, you know, you know what? I hate
Kyley: Mm-hmm.
Eva: one of my pet peeves and it really grosses me. The F out is like wet feet touching. Like a dirty floor. So like
Kyley: Oh, so things like stick to the bottom of your
Eva: but yes, especially when I'm thinking there's like germs. So like if I am going, if I'm like in a public pool and then I have to go barefoot into a bathroom and it's wet and there's like hair and sand or something, it is just the fucking gnarliest feeling to me.
Eva: I hate it [00:14:00] so much. There we go. That, that I, I, I wanted to find like a nuanced answer and there, there it really is. Mm-hmm.
Kyley: Yeah. That's a very specific, anyone who could have seen the video, I was all sorts of squirming in response to this description. Wildly unpleasant. Also making me think of like, when I was in college, if I ever got to the bathroom and I had forgotten my, like Flo shower sandals, it was like, oh, what am I gonna do?
Kyley: Do I go back? Do I like shower if I trying to stand on the sides of
Eva: Exactly. Exactly. It's the worst. Okay. I'm glad you feel me on that. Okay. What about you, Kyley? What's, what are some
Kyley: So my answer is like, I feel like kind of weird, and maybe not a hundred percent in the spirit of the question, but I, my bestie Ray was visiting me just last week and they've known me for. Over speaking of college, like for over 20 years, right?
Kyley: We were best season, we've been best season since college. And they, you know, people have just known you forever and they're like in your house, you see yourself through their eyes. Something about it. And seeing them with my kids anyway, it made me realize how much I am very, very, [00:15:00] very sensitive to sound, which I already knew, but they helped me realize how much sound is actually a physical experience for me.
Kyley: So I think it's actually called mesothelioma and I have to look it up. I haven't looked it up. And it is actually pretty common with people with a DHD. Um, but like I am, have a really physical reaction to a lot of sounds. And so when my children are really loud, especially my poor son who uses sound to self-regulate, so he's like always like talking, talking, talking, talking or just like making loud random noises.
Kyley: Just like literally how he self regulates. It feels like clicks. Claws down my back or
Eva: Oh. Mm-hmm.
Kyley: it can be really deeply physically uncomfortable. Like if my husband is, like, if my husband's like eating lunch, I have to like not be in the kitchen. Right? If we're like all eating dinner and everyone's talking, somehow that's different.
Kyley: But like specifically the sound of like [00:16:00] him eating lunch and like he's just sitting there reading and I'm in the, I'm like, I have to leave the room. 'cause you're, I can hear your mouth. Mouth sounds like literally my kids know I go mouth sounds. Mouth sounds.
Eva: Wait, so hold on, hold on. So you're saying you experience sounds as a physical sensation
Kyley: Yeah.
Eva: and but only annoying ones, or what about Pleasant ones?
Kyley: Well that's where I'm like, since this is like a new awareness, it's like, they're like, oh, that's what this has always been. And everyone else doesn't have the same thing as you. I'm, I'm curious to observe how physical, how like pleasant sounds are also physical. So I don't have an answer for that because what I'm most aware of is like.
Kyley: The physical sensation that I get from like painful or uncomfortable sounds. And it is like, it's really like, yeah, it's really physical. And then Ray was pointing out, they were like, it's kind of like, um, what's that thing called synesthesia where people can like hear me? They like see, they like hear colors.
Kyley: Have you heard this [00:17:00] before? Yeah. And so Ray was like, it's like kind of like a synesthesia. And I had never put those two things to, that was really what blew my mind, uh, is just this like real physicality of sound. And so specifically like unpleasant sounds. It's feel, it's like people talk about sound when it's really loud.
Kyley: It being dysregulated, dysregulating, but it's more than just like, oh, the siren is dysregulating or the loud room. It's more like specific sounds, feel very specific ways in my body and they're not always good.
Eva: Right, because I think some, what I'm hearing is some loud sounds might be loud, but they may not bother you. So it's that the bo, the ones that bother you, really bother you
Kyley: They bother me in, like, in the way that they bother me is because it's like physically uncomfortable.
Eva: right. But so what I'm so curious about is what sounds Cause that and what sounds don't, right? Because like mouth sounds bother you.
Eva: Right. But there could be a sound that
Kyley: if you're standing right behind me and you're eight years old and
Eva: oh my god.
Kyley: like,
Eva: [00:18:00] Yep. Yeah,
Kyley: ugh.
Eva: there are moms out there who are feeling you right now.
Kyley: Oh, for sure, for sure.
Eva: Because I've also definitely heard, like Denise, my sister and I talk about like, stop eating so loud next to me. You know, like, yeah.
Kyley: Yeah. So
Eva: what I'm, so, 'cause there might be some sounds that are maybe, could be perceived as unpleasant, but are neutral to you.
Kyley: right. Like sirens don't particularly bother, like sirens for example might feel like loud, and I like do that bo My body might clench in like waiting for it to pass, but, um, because it's just loud, but it doesn't like I. It doesn't feel like knives in my shoulders or
Eva: Do you consider yourself a sensitive person?
Kyley: And what, what, what do you mean?
Eva: I know that's such a weird question, right? Obviously you're sensitive to like. I think energies and, but like sensitive as in, is your nervous system generally sensitive so that like things like sound and sensation and [00:19:00] like, you know, scary images or unpleasant DR dramas. They don't have to be scary, but like sad dramas maybe, like Yeah.
Eva: Affect your nervous system.
Kyley: Yes. Uh, I am very much that kind. I don't think I've really always given myself credit and I actually think it's gotten keyed up that, but like the, the definitely I think I am. I am a very sensitive person, and when I was younger, I think I didn't clock it or I was less sensitive. I think it was probably a little bit of both.
Kyley: So there were like sensitive things happening, but I didn't maybe have the integrated awareness to realize what was causing me to feel uncomfortable. So then, um, but like, I mean, you know, I can't watch scary movies at all. Even like a little bit scary. And even like, Nick really, really, really loves movies.
Kyley: My husband like loves movies. I mean, like the man watches like probably a, a movie a day, like on average. [00:20:00] Um, and, uh, I can't watch a lot of movies that he watches because there's just like Misery Slog
Eva: Yeah, yeah. 'cause he's like into art. He's like into art house, film, and like Yeah. Highbrow stuff. Yep. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And we're similar kind of in that way, but also, I also can't do as much as I used to be able to do.
Kyley: yeah, and I, it just, it like, it, it like pierces something really like. Even when we were in, in New York City, I think I might have shared with you offline, like, I loved being there. It was so much fun. And I was so, the first day and a half it was like I could feel everyone's feelings and I was like, uh, uh, it wasn't, yeah.
Kyley: There were a couple moments where I was like kind of, um, a little overwhelmed by how much I could feel that I was feeling things that weren't actually mine and like walked back to the hotel room and was like, I have got to take a shower at the end of the night because I have things on me that are not me.
Kyley: Um, so yeah, but I don't, but I, yeah.
Eva: I would love to do an episode or do some sort of exploration, or if you're [00:21:00] listening and you have information on this that you can, like message us, but like some sort of exploration on what, because different things affect different people's nervous systems and like, and different people.
Eva: I just wanna explore like what makes someone sensitive and, and that's like saying kind of like what makes. Someone's I like depends on where your nervous system is at, right? Like it depends on how you're doing, how much rest you've gotten, whatever, how resourced you are. But it's like why is it that like New York City doesn't affect my nervous system or how I, even though I would say I'm actually very sensitive and I've grown more acute, acutely aware of how sensitive I am to a point where sometimes I'm like, wow, like it's, and then, but then there are other things like I could do a bunch of travel and does that doesn't bother me as much.
Eva: Whereas that could totally wipe someone out, you know? But I can't listen to certain music even sometimes 'cause it's too jarring for my nervous system, even though I love it. Yeah.
Kyley: Well, and I, what I think is interesting too is there's like, what are the things that dysregulate us and how they're different for different people, but [00:22:00] then also I think, I think I'm just becoming more sensitive over time. Specifically either A, as I become more self-aware and B, as I become more like kind of committed to my spirituality.
Kyley: Like I recently had been having some like, I dunno, this is kind of maybe boring, but I've been having some like food sensitivity and I was talking to a friend of mine and they were like, you need to stop eating X, y, and Z food. And they were like, be, and they're like, which I was like, I, they were like, there was an, so I was talking about an intuitive friend and they were like, I think you probably need to stop eating X, Y, and Z things.
Kyley: And they were like, and it will help your channel, like you will like hear and receive messages more clearly and more powerfully. And as soon as she said that, I felt the, like tears in the back of my eyes that show up as like true. And I thought, oh well that makes sense that as I like become someone who [00:23:00] just like lives more, I don't know, a kind of a devotion to certain kinds of things that other things wouldn't be.
Kyley: So I think there's just like, things become incongruous, right? The more devoted you are to anything. And I think this can go in any direction, in any kind of life. There are just things that become incongruous that maybe weren't before. Um,
Eva: Yeah. But what I find that to be, so, and I find that's been my experience too, for sure. And, and I can say I am, I'm sometimes unaware, shockingly unaware. And there's sometimes where I'm super aware because of my chronic fatigue, I've had to become just like a tracker and track, you know, like what affects me and what doesn't.
Eva: But I think that's like what, you know, like why, it's just curious to me, like why do certain foods affect. You in that way, and then maybe not someone else. You know? It's like what is it that affects us and, and yeah, unique, it's our unique bodies and our unique makeup. But for some reason, I'm just really curious about why,
Kyley: Oh, that's so interesting.
Eva: like, look what's [00:24:00] example, what's, what's an example of something you can't eat that they said, like
Kyley: Uh.
Eva: something, something really popular?
Kyley: Well, actually, when I said what's so interesting is I was just interesting because the why doesn't occur to me,
Eva: Oh, I know, I know you're saying that, but I'm curious. So what, can you gimme an
Kyley: yeah. I I, I'm doing a little experiment, but I, it's, I'm, I'm doing a no no ready things for 30 days.
Eva: Right? No Britney things. Yeah. Gluten. Yep. Stuff like that. Okay. Well see that's like a popular one because it's like, I guess people are saying gluten, whatever. Okay. I don't wanna get us derailed. But yeah, I guess it's, there's sometimes where it's like a popular thing. We're generally, our bodies and our environment are shifting so much that those things just like aren't great for us, but also something that can be as random as like cherries like.
Kyley: Yes. Yeah. Well, and also just again, side note, but when things are like popular, I'm always like, no, I'm, this is fine. I will hold onto bread with all my fucking fingers dug in because I'm not interested in health fats, and I'm like, oh, fuck.
Eva: And then it, but yeah. See, it's so interesting [00:25:00] how that can get you in trouble, right? That like stubbornness, that that's a Taurus stubborn thing. But I'm with you. I hear you. But that's, um, yeah. Anyway, all right, let's move on. Let's move on.
Kyley: Okay. Oh, this is a fun one. What's the dumbest way you've ever injured yourself?
Eva: Um, can I pass? I don't really have
Kyley: I don't really have one either. I was thinking about that. I was like, I don't know. Can I tell a cute one from my husband though?
Eva: Yeah. And I have, I thought of my friend Nicole, which that was funny, but yeah. Mm-hmm.
Kyley: when we were in college. Okay, so anyone who's 40 what? Remember that Project Runway was a really big deal in 2003, 2004. Like we all loved Project Runway and um, and so my friends and I, we were like, just like really loved wa We would like watch it all together.
Kyley: It was like a big like group activity. We were like pile into someone's dorm room and watch Heidi Klum and Tim Gunn make it work. And my. My husband has this, like [00:26:00] really, one of the things I love about him, he's like really great at like being simultaneously earnest and a goof and like a goofball about things at the same time.
Kyley: So he was like basically running down the stairs dramatically to make it to project runway in time.
Eva: Oh, cute. I,
Kyley: And he sprained his ankle so bad that it hurt for like three days.
Eva: oh
Kyley: And we had to like, go to like class, do like a presentation the next day and teach our teacher who's like, actually one of my really good friends. Hi Kelly, you listened to the show. I'm talking about, um, one of the classes we took with you and, and she was like, what happened to what happened to you?
Kyley: And Nick was like, I. Trying to get to Project Runway, and we didn't have, and we were all like broke college students. Obviously no one had, we didn't have crutches for some reason, and no one wanted to buy them, so we bought him a dowel, like literally from the art school store down the street. We had him a dowel, and I still remember I duct taped one of my t-shirts around the top of [00:27:00] the dowel, so we like made like a mini cane that looked like a matchstick.
Kyley: And so he was walking around with this like giant looking ma, like it looked like a giant matchstick with his sprained ankle from running to see Tim Gun.
Eva: Dedication, man. I mean, that show was good. I get it.
Kyley: was great. It was great. It was a very, very excellent show.
Eva: Mm-hmm.
Kyley: Okay,
Eva: All right, next.
Kyley: next. All right. Um hmm. Okay. If you could go back, and this is the way the question is worded.
Kyley: If you could go back and talk some sense into your teenage self, what would you say?
Eva: Oh my God, so much. Then gimme, gimme a moment. We'll both think on this. Yeah. I don't know if I like this question. Do you have something you wanna say? I feel like you can answer it first and then I'm, then I'll
Kyley: yeah. Is it 'cause the tox, some sense sounds unkind.
Eva: No, it's that it just like. Wouldn't have worked. Like, 'cause it's not, I don't know, it, [00:28:00] it's like, it's not, it wouldn't have worked as in like, that's just not how it works.
Kyley: hmm.
Eva: Like even if I, that the question of like, oh, you know, if I go, if we go back now and tell my younger self, what, what would I need to hear? Like, and it comes from a loving place.
Eva: It's like, no, I needed to experience everything I experienced in order. But yeah, I'm sure, I know there are a million things I could say to myself. I think I'm getting too caught up in like, does it matter?
Kyley: Yeah. Right. Knowing that your teenage self wasn't going to listen, wasn't gonna give a fuck anyway. Like she
Eva: Yeah. Or like, wouldn't have believed it because you have to like, kind of go through the experience in order to, like no one can tell you anything. Maybe, I don't know if my future self came. Sorry. This all needs to get deleted, by the
Kyley: No, I don't think it does. I think this is great. This is my favorite part. This is more interesting than the actual answer, I
Eva: Really?
Kyley: I'll share, I will share my answer 'cause I do have one that came up right away, which is just that I don't think I had any fucking clue how great I am. Right. Like I can see, I can see how much like 16-year-old Kyley like thought she was a side character.
Kyley: You know, [00:29:00] thought that she was like,
Eva: Oh, lemme think.
Kyley: like an outcast or like lucky to occasionally be chosen. Right? Like, that was definitely the story that I think I had. And I was happy. I had great friends. Like I didn't have a, you know, but, but yeah, I think that she always thought that she was like,
Kyley: like filler to the
Eva: Mm-hmm.
Kyley: Um, and I think I would wanna give her some like, main character energy. Like, I think I would want her to see you line up the room. Like you, I'm actually tearing up. Oh wow. Like, you light up the room. What a gift you are to everybody in your life. And, um, I think it would've been nice if I knew a little, I knew a little more of that now,
Eva: Yeah.
Kyley: or if I knew, I knew what I knew now then, um, because I don't think, I, I don't, I [00:30:00] don't think I needed to suffer that much about that question.
Kyley: You know? I.
Eva: yeah. Yeah. That's really interesting for me to hear you say because you're so main character now. You know, I've only really kind of known you as main character that I forget that that was your path. Like that was your experience. 'cause you've alluded to it sometimes. Just, yeah. Even just being like a little girl who moved around a lot or who moved, you know, who moved and like whatever.
Kyley: Moved a lot.
Eva: mm-hmm. But I
Kyley: I mean, I think I have, I mean, I, I think we are all main character, right? But I think I have always had like a bigness to my energy, but I don't think that I had any idea that it was a gift or special or like something that I could like rely on, right? Like I was like, I knew how to, like, it was like I knew how to make people like me, but I don't think I knew how special I am.
Eva: Right. All just basic. Yeah. I get, I can see that now. I can see like the growth that you've then, that you mentioned, that the growth that you've experienced and [00:31:00] how you've really come into yourself and I'm so happy that you've claimed your like main character energy. 'cause you ain't some side bitch like that is for sure.
Eva: Your personality just is like too big for that, so.
Kyley: I also just teared up too, 'cause I think I started thinking of my daughter and how much we're, there's ways that were similar. There ways were really different. She's only six, but like she is she in her own way, she is also some, like her preschool teacher, she's in kindergarten. Her preschool teacher texted me happy birthday this year for her.
Kyley: Like she's just the kind of kid who's like, like I was like, she's gonna be teacher's pet forever without ever tr like Right. She's not gonna be the kind of kid who's like, she might, it might turn into that, right. She might tr turn into a higher her mighty granger or not, but like. Like, her teachers are just always like, one of her teachers one year was like, she could just teach the class up here.
Kyley: Like, she's this sweet, earnest, curious, it's [00:32:00] easy for her to like be still. She loves coloring anyway. Um, and uh, anyway, so she just has this like, very sweet, warm, but also fiery charisma. She was four once and like all the older kids would like follow her around the beach. Like, what are you doing? What are you doing?
Kyley: Birdie? We'll play
Eva: Yeah. She's a princess. Like we
Kyley: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. She really is. And I think I also just started to tear up. 'cause I thought like, oh, I would like birdie to know now that she's really special. I don't want her to spend 40 years trying to
Eva: Yeah. But she does know, like, right. Do you think she
Kyley: so, but I don't, I I, I think maybe she doesn't, I think maybe she doesn't know too.
Kyley: Right? Like, I don't know. I don't know.
Eva: Yeah. Well, that'd be interesting to find out.
Kyley: Yeah.
Eva: Yeah. Well now that you've given me some time, like the truth is, is like there's so, like I could write a fucking novel for my younger self. There's just like not one thing, but Yeah. And if I think the prompt would be helpful for me, like if I actually like could listen. [00:33:00] But also I just really like the way that my life has gone down despite all the bullshit. And so it's not that I wanted to check change the trajectory of my life, but I would say like a couple things, just like more non seriously. I would say don't date that fucking drummer. Like he's hot as fuck and he's really funny, but you're just gonna fucking waste your time.
Eva: Like he's so hot. But no, also don't get date. That guy who's like I asked you at the coffee shop, like there's just these like guys who were just like, I dated so many fine men who were just a mess. So it's like that probably could have saved me some when I had, but the thing is I had such a good time, so it's like I wouldn't even wanna like not do that.
Eva: Um
Kyley: Oh, I think, oh, here's another thing. I would also tell teenage me. Uh, I would be like, girlfriend, you are queer. And it's not a thing to be so afraid
Eva: Mm. Mm-hmm.
Kyley: I was, I mean, I, I was, I was afraid. And now, and then I, and then as soon as I was safely coupled with a man, I was like, oh, by the way, I'm bisexual.
Kyley: And was
Eva: yeah.
Kyley: but, but I would, I would
Eva: [00:34:00] Yeah,
Kyley: let her, let her not be afraid of that earlier.
Eva: Yeah. For me it's more like, just like smarter things you could have done to like avoid pain in the ass. Things like, I would've said, like just the house that we lived in after like towards the end of college, like be basically became condemned 'cause we fucking wrecked it.
Eva: 'cause we were just a bunch of fucking delinquent punk rock kids. And we ended up having to pay a shit ton of money. And I would've said like, and we fucked up that house. I mean, spray painted the whole thing, replaced the banister with a stop sign because we like, were taking skateboards, going down the stairs and knocked out the banister and then picked out a stop sign from the street and like put that, it was just like, I mean, we're talking party, party house.
Eva: And it was so gross. And I would've said, just make some effort to fucking clean it up and like get people fucking do their shit. And anyways, just like things like stuff like that. But ultimately from a more heartfelt place, I think I would've told myself like. That you're [00:35:00] safe. 'cause I think for me it's always this trauma of like, I am not safe and like I need to look for danger around.
Eva: But that's the same thing that I'm telling myself now. I'm still telling myself now that I'm safe. And I would've told myself, like the thing that my dad was always trying to tell me of like, you don't need to worry so much. Like, life is, it's, it's the same message that I'm still telling myself now, but more from like the spiritual place of like the voice of God, of like higher power, of like, it's not that serious.
Eva: Nothing is that serious. Everything works out. Um, like relax, you know, like just the you, the Eva that you think that you are is an illusion. You know, like that's, I'm using different language now, but just like everything that you are so. Afraid of is an illusion.
Kyley: Yeah. Yeah. It's funny 'cause I think as you were talking [00:36:00] I was, we were so opposite when we were like 25. I don't know that, I don't know. We would've known
Eva: We, we wouldn't have been friends. I think we've established
Kyley: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Eva: We just wait, we're in different circles. Like, I don't think our orbits would've ever
Kyley: we exactly. I like think we would not have even, we would've like bumped shoulders or something, you know?
Kyley: But, um, I, I would've loved to give my, I would've, I would say take more risks
Eva: Mm.
Kyley: of a couple of situations where I thought something wasn't, like I got, I got accepted to teach French in to teach English in France when I was like 22. And I didn't go, what the fuck? I didn't go in France for nine months and like, eat baguettes and like, what?
Kyley: That would've been so cool. And I just didn't even let myself. I applied, and then I didn't actually let myself entertain going. I didn't even tell my parents that I got accepted to see if they could help. Like I just put the whole thing in an envelope and like basically hid it. And there were a couple of things like that where I think I could have taken risks.
Kyley: But to the point of safety, I think I [00:37:00] really was trying to like follow a linear path, right? Of like, I'm gonna have a good job and I'm gonna like, you know, I was, I think I was gonna follow this, this path of safety, but then I kept leaping off of it, right? I was like, I'm gonna get a good job. Wait, no, I'm gonna go get a job and be a professor.
Kyley: Wait. You know, like I, I, I think now I know I'm just someone who like, I'm made to take risks. That's how I'm wired, right? But, but I tried to like rein that in when I was younger and I think I robbed myself of some pleasure. But like you said, I don't really regret that because it made me who I am and I'm happy for all those experiences.
Kyley: But I think it could have been fun to like spend more time
Eva: Yeah. But then I, it's like the, like the sliding doors movie system, Ari, it's like, like, then with my whole life changed, like I'm just having, this is such a
Kyley: Maybe I would've broken up with. Right. I, I think about that. Like maybe I would've broken up with Nick with my boyfriend then, and maybe
Eva: And then you wouldn't have your, the kids that you have now.
Kyley: and my whole, like, he's just like the, like one of the [00:38:00] best parts of my whole fucking life. Like I would take, I would take my husband over French baguettes any day.
Kyley: Right. Which is saying a luck because French nuggets are fucking great. Right?
Eva: Yeah. Like, okay. So another thing that I thought of as you were talking about that was like, well, you know what, okay, maybe this is actually one thing that I've been so helpful to hear, is that like, I would've gone on as my adult self and like when I saw myself really struggling in school when I was a kid, because I didn't have, 'cause I was a latchkey kid and like, you know, didn't have any adult supervision and like didn't have anyone to talk to and my phone was all like dysfunctional and whatever.
Eva: Like I was struggling in school so much, I would've been like. Go tell your teachers that you are really having a hard time and that you don't, and that you just need some like exercise. You just need someone to explain this to you and like get the support instead of like hiding and being all in shame and like being all like, like isolating myself, you know?
Eva: And I think that would've been like really good to hear. And I think, but then I'm like, that would've changed the whole trajectory of my life. I would've like done like really, really well in school and [00:39:00] showed up differently. I'm like, and maybe I would've gone to like an Ivy league, like along with like my other, all my other friends at school.
Eva: But I'm like, but if there's anything that would take me away from living the life that I'm living now in the jungle of Brazil with the man of my dreams, I'm like, I wouldn't, like, I don't want anything to derail me from that, you know? I'm like, my life is, I had to live like some really dysfunctional years to get to be so lost so that I could find myself and I wouldn't.
Eva: It was hard and it sucked, and a lot of it times it was terrifying. But now luckily I can say I'm in a place where I wouldn't wanna change it. So maybe actually the advice isn't, what advice would I give my, to my younger self? The advice that I give to my older self actually is like, and the next time you hit something really hard and it's gonna happen, 'cause life, be life in, know that it's all just part of the plan and that it's gonna get you to where you're actually meant to be and that you don't need to be afraid and it's gonna suck and you can suffer, [00:40:00] but it's not wrong.
Eva: It's not wrong.
Kyley: Yeah. Yes, yes, yes. A thousand percent. Everything you said. And one final thing is that I would just go to my younger self every night while she was sleeping and whisper over and over again. You're so hot.
Eva: Yeah. That would be pretty cool. That's would be a good, good message to get. Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Kyley: and even, even how many times, even now, right? When I have like body image things and I'm like, I know this is bullshit. Like I know it's bullshit and I know that like I will look at this picture and I'll be like, what? A what? A what a haughty. What a cutie. But man, yeah, I would, that just feels like, it's like some of the things we're talking about feel like these like really beautiful lessons, right?
Kyley: Like my, like, like grappling with fear and choosing yourself and taking risk or like learning how to ask for help or like all those things. And then there's other things that are like, gosh, just a wasted effort, like insecurity about body image 'cause of
Eva: Yeah, [00:41:00] that's true. There's a lot of wasted effort.
Kyley: dumb. Gimme a
Eva: Ugh,
Kyley: challenge.
Eva: that's so true.
Kyley: I'm all done. I'm bored. I'm bored with the storyline.
Eva: Yeah, that's true. But at the same time, don't, do you think that they served you in some way?
Kyley: No, I don't think, I don't think the like in, it's like, it's like sometimes I think about how there are like lessons that are like, this is the curriculum I picked for like life, you know? And then there's also ones that are where it's like interesting and learn and there's other ones that are just like, yeah, like I'm just wasting time on this.
Kyley: This is energy that could go towards like me thinking my body's not right because it's like got some pudge, like, God, it's just
Eva: Yeah, I guess that's true. I don't know. I wanna think about that more too. 'cause if that's the problem, like there are gazillion fucking things. I wasted so much time worrying about like that. Um, yeah, just, but that's what I mean by like, my whole life has been, I don't know. I think that's all part of it. I don't know.
Eva: I don't know. But this is getting existential. I can talk about this forever. Okay. [00:42:00] What do we think? Are we thinking one more?
Kyley: I got one more. I got one more. It's like a, it's a, it's one of the silly ones.
Eva: great.
Kyley: what, actually, let me look at, let me, let me, let me choose the,
Eva: Yeah, let's pick a good final one.
Kyley: okay. Gimme one more second.
Kyley: Oh, okay. I've got a fun one. Okay. Where would you hide out during a zombie apocalypse? Alternatively, you could also tell me the most underwhelming tourist trap you've ever seen. Those are your two choices.
Eva: Wow, those are so mundane that they're hard for me to
Kyley: Okay. All right. All right. That's fair. That's fair.
Eva: Well, unless you have an answer, I feel like if you go first it can be like, then it spurs something on for me, but
Kyley: Okay. I can answer the tourist trap one. Uh, which didn't. We were, okay. So my in-laws, we all went like 10 years ago to Vancouver. Um, and
Kyley: we, okay, [00:43:00] so I'm, we, I been in Vancouver with my father-in-law, mother-in-law, sister-in-law, and her partner. Don't have kids at the time, and we're walking around the city and we read some map that there's a Jimi Hendrix museum because apparently he like lived there, spent some time, I don't know why, there's Jimi Hendrix museum.
Kyley: And so we're like, oh, that'll be fun. So we'd be like, walk all, it's a random, backward, backwards way we get to this museum. And there's just some like fucking random kind of rundown house that supposedly he lived in for like nine months. And it is like, like dumbest quote unquote museum I've ever seen.
Kyley: It's basically just like someone wrote like on like on markers and like posters from CVS, like various things about Jim Hendrix. But our favorite part was like in the Backyard of the Garden. They were like lyrics from his songs. Like you went on like a, like a garden walk that had like lyrics or literally written handwritten posters, you know, from CVS.
Kyley: But one of them said [00:44:00] if you, if you dance, I apply for you. I didn't say play. It said, I apply for you. And that's like a line in our family now. We just say, if you dance, I apply for you.
Eva: Wow.
Kyley: And it was worth every single penny of the like $8 and 50 cents that we paid to walk through this. Just
Eva: For the memories. So you could laugh at it, but man, the audacity of those folks, hopefully they're making good money though. Who knows?
Kyley: Yeah.
Eva: Um, okay. Can you find another mundane one for me? 'cause I'm coming up with na, not a
Kyley: Yeah. That's fair. That's fair.
Kyley: All right.
Kyley: Oh, okay. This one might be fun.
Eva: Okay.
Kyley: If you were an action figure, what accessories would you come with?
Eva: Oh my God. Immediately the image was like, whip.[00:45:00]
Kyley: Oh, I was thinking like plant medicine, like
Eva: Oh yeah. I love that. I'm like, I'm like, no, no, no. Wait. Hold on. An action figure you said.
Kyley: Mm-hmm.
Eva: Oh my God, I love this so much. I'm getting like, Catwoman vibes, like, like, like, like the, I mean, this is a doll, but you know, I'd have like, the accessory would be like knee high, black plastic type boots. All like to not my thigh high, thigh high with like a whip.
Eva: 'cause I'm gonna fucking whip your ass. And, um, I don't know. Cool glasses. Okay, but what else, what other accessories? This is fun. Yeah. I wasn't, I wasn't even going in like the witch direction. Um, but I really high heels. So like I could crush you like, I don't know, I'm gonna defeat you and then like, humiliate you by stepping on you on your [00:46:00] chest.
Eva: It's gonna, it's got like some s and m
Kyley: I was gonna say the dom vibes are coming out real
Eva: Yeah, Dom Buds for sure. It's like, I'm going to beat you 'cause you're a bad guy and then dominate you. And then it's probably gonna make them come 'cause it's gonna be so hot.
Kyley: Okay. I love this Great answer. Uh, I'm definitely some kind of weird, like weird soer, like, uh, like, like a
Eva: Hmm. Um,
Kyley: Like I got the image of like, I definitely have a, like a big staff that's got a crystal ball on the top and like my eyes turn white or like glowing blue, you know, like, uh, what is it like storm from X-Men?
Kyley: Like I got like those kind of eyes when I am fucking you up with magic. And also I can definitely levitate.
Eva: oh, I love that. Yeah, I could totally see that for sure. Oh, it'd be cool. Like your hair could be all like cool, like wind blown
Kyley: That's what I was seeing. The hair was doing like wild things and I somehow have like a really elaborate cape. And [00:47:00] also my tits look great. Like it's a, it's a yes and
Eva: Yes. Yes. Oh my God, I love this so much. That's fun. Yeah. I wanna explore this one a little bit more. 'cause there's a lot of directions we can go, but I do like where you're going with it. Like wild woman vibes, you know? Ooh. There's a, okay. If I were to go wild woman vibes, I'd want like a snake that's,
Kyley: Oh, yeah, I can see
Eva: Yeah. That'd be cool.
Kyley: that. Yeah. I mean, the whip snake like this, you, this could also be a yes. And you
Eva: Yes. Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Kyley: be a snake. It can just transform when you need it
Eva: Cool. Love it. Yes. Okay. And then it'd be cool if I could have like a truth telling potion. Ooh,
Kyley: Oh, this feels very like in line with your power, like your, your, your human powers too,
Eva: Yeah.
Kyley: just draw the truth out of us,
Eva: Mm-hmm. I like that. I like
Kyley: that. I love that Eva's gonna crush you in ecstasy with the truth, and I'm gonna fuck you up with slightly terrifying magic. This feels very on-brand.
Eva: Oh, okay, great. We just gotta get Marvel or whatever to get on
Kyley: Yeah,
Eva: this.
Kyley: yeah, exactly. [00:48:00] Um, okay, there's clearly, that's the perfect mic drop. Should we do a round of joy
Eva: Oh my God, yes. Oh yeah. We should do, yes. In line with tradition. Let's do a run of joy. Let me take a moment to think.
Kyley: while you think about joy, I wanna let listeners know about our plans for the summer because e and I are so fucking pumped. We have been doing this show, as you might know, for five years, and we always take summer break. But this year for summer break, we are gonna be meeting a lot. We won't be recording episodes, but we're doing a lot of really exciting creative projects about growing the show.
Kyley: Deepening the show, evolving the show. Um, because when you do something for five years, it starts to wanna be something different and bigger and better. So, um, we're gonna. Share some of our most favorite episodes with you throughout the summer so you can keep hanging out with us and get fucking pumped for September.
Kyley: That's all I'm gonna say.
Eva: Yeah. Season six, baby. We're coming back with a vengeance and a fire. And also just thank you so much for being here and [00:49:00] seeing, like witnessing the evolution of us on our spiritual journeys, on our business journeys. And it just isn't, it's just the beginning. Like there's a saying in, in, in Brazil, we say this often like Kondo.
Eva: It's just the beginning baby. And you guys, for those of you who've just been here along the way, we really love you and appreciate you and, um, are excited to share how we're gonna continue to evolve with you because we're pretty transparent with everything and sometimes it's messy and sometimes it's beautiful.
Eva: And we love being able to share that in hopes that it's, I know, helpful for people. Yeah.
Kyley: I love you. Okay. Gimme your joy.
Eva: Um, okay. I actually do need a minute to think, so, uh, gimme a second. Hmm. My God, my joy.
Kyley: Also season six might be hosted by those superhero figures. Just saying.
Eva: Uhhuh Uhhuh. I like that.
Eva: Kyley, what's something that's bringing you Joy?
Kyley: I have not been interested in TV for a long time. It's been a minute since I've had a show that I really loved and I am [00:50:00] obsessed with the show called The Residents. Have you
Eva: Ooh, tell me more. Because usually I like the shows that you like and if you like it, yeah.
Kyley: so fun. It's a Shondaland show. So she's not the director but likes in her, uh, production company and the residence is about the White House and the show.
Kyley: The episode that it's an eight series, eight episode show. I complete series. I think, I don't know, it doesn't feel like there's gonna be a season two. I don't fucking know Anyway. There's a murder. It's like basically a murder mystery. There's a murder, like the very beginning of the first episode, and then they call in this like, delightfully autistic brilliant.
Kyley: I mean, she's not, they don't call it that. She's very coded. Um, uh, detective and then all the White House staff fuckery, and it's like about the staff itself. Like, it's not about, I mean, there's, it's not like the people who run the White House, like the, like butlers and the engineers
Eva: okay.
Kyley: interpersonal dynamics and it's like [00:51:00] quirky and funny and refreshing.
Kyley: Um, I have one episode left and I'm like doing that thing where you're like, like last night it was like, no, we are going to sleep so that we have something to look forward to.
Eva: Yep. Yep. I know. Yeah.
Kyley: Um,
Eva: Yay. That's so fun
Kyley: like a really, she's like really obsessed with birds and birding, which is just like this hilarious like through line through, through it.
Kyley: Anyway, 10 outta 10, I am just adoring it. All the characters are funny and, uh, interesting and it's really diverse and it's great. I love it. Everyone should watch it.
Eva: Awesome. I wrote it down. It's becoming winter. It's like we're turning into winter here, here on the southern hemisphere. So like, we're hungry down. So I'm appreciating the, the recommendations for things to snuggle up and watch with my cutie.
Kyley: Yeah. How about you give us
Eva: I have two things that I wanna share. Yeah. I wanna share something like small and something bigger.
Eva: Um, do you know what tubing mascara is?
Kyley: No.
Eva: Okay. So I've had [00:52:00] an issue with mascara, my mascara my whole life. For somebody, it's, I've never been able to find a mascara that didn't run and. I've tried a bunch of mascara and I don't know, someone told me it was maybe the shape of my eyes being Asians. I don't know what, but um, last time I was in the States, I went into Sephora and I was like, I wanna fucking find a mascara that stays, but also mascara that stays.
Eva: You have to like, it's a pain to fucking, do you wear mascara ever?
Kyley: I do. It's like the one makeup. If I'm gonna wear one thing, I will wear mascara.
Eva: Yeah. I feel like that's a lot of truth for like a lot of women. And I never worn, I didn't start wearing mascara until this year. I've never worn it anyway. And she just recommended this mascara to me that not only does it have full staying power, but also it's tubing mascara. So when you wash it off with water, you just kinda like, I don't know how to,
Kyley: I've had this before. It
Eva: you pinch it off, it slides off.
Eva: Yes. And so there's some makeup enthusiasts out there who are like, oh my god, this is like child's play. But there are also some people who are out like there, who are like sometimes makeup challenged and maybe they want the [00:53:00] information. So Tubing, mascara, I use Tart. The brand is tart. It works really well and it also is not a pain to take off.
Eva: That's my experience. Yeah. So that's fun. Um, the second bigger thing I wanna share in terms of joy is like, I've haven't completely delved, delved into this on the podcast, but some people might know, you know, I live with my partner in Brazil and his family moved here to be with us this year. And I've talked about it, you know, like on and off.
Eva: But I think, I just wanna say like, it has been such a healing experience for me to be with his family and the two young little girls, um, like his grandkids and like, and his daughter and son-in-law, they're just like good, kind, sweet people. And I have had a lot of my own family dysfunction. Um, and to be with a family that has so little dysfunction that it's actually just like sweet, like it is, they're so wholesome and [00:54:00] I've, it's helped heal me, my family stuff.
Eva: But also like my mother wound stuff of like. I know, you know, I'm very happy with my choice of not being a mother, but there's still stuff that comes with that of like, you know, am I doing enough? I don't know. And it's just, and it's just the gifts are still unfolding. But I didn't know that I needed all of this healing until they came into my life and like it just started happening.
Eva: And it's an ongoing thing, but like how fucking lucky am I to basically be connected with my partner's family and that we all just get along so well? Like that's a blessing dude. And you get it. Like you have family, you have like Nick's family that you really love and I think a lot of people. It's, it's a mixed bag.
Eva: Some people marry into families that are a wreck, and it's a lot of drama and it sucks. And some people get really lucky and marry into like a really good family. But this is like unlike anything I've ever [00:55:00] experienced. And we have dinner together most nights, and we go to the beach together and we frolic and we, I don't know, I babysit their kids and it's, it's next level, goodness.
Eva: And it's so good for my nervous system.
Kyley: I also think there's something so, so sweet about those like in-law esque relationships that could be fraught like that. Right. And that like kind of stereotypically or Right. There's like, they're not, it's not uncommon that they're fraught. Like my mother-in-law, it's just like one of my favorite people.
Kyley: She's so sweet. I've probably talked about it on the show before, like we are really, really, really, really different from each other and she is like. Organized and clean and tidy and on time and all the ways that I'm not, and I can so clearly see a way, a universe in which like we just do not get along.
Kyley: And in fact, and instead she is like my fiercest advocate, like she always has my back. Like she comes over and she just like, you know, I, I, I swear to God, I'm like, you're the kind. I don't know what you do. She like walks [00:56:00] into the room and she's like instantly cleaner. But it's never with judgment. It's always just like, yeah, I can do this.
Kyley: I got 15 minutes all tidy and I just tell her all the time, like I am, I'm just so grateful for her and for the relationship. But then I also think, and I'm like hearing this in what you're saying, it's like you're grateful for this beautiful, loving, rich thing. And then you also know like somewhere else someone's having a similar thing, but it does not feel good
Eva: Yeah.
Kyley: a like double blessing that happens I think there.
Eva: Yeah. Yes.
Kyley: really love that for you.
Eva: Yeah. And I love that for you. I'm happy that that becomes a symbiotic relationship rather than like a 'cause. Yeah. It can be messy. Like the mo, the mother-in-law relationship sometimes can be like a little bit weird, but like I was really fucking nervous because. I'm Tom's much younger, much younger girlfriend, and like it could have been dicey, you know, like the daughter and could have moved here and been like really uncomfortable with her dad being with someone like only a few years older than her.
Eva: You know what [00:57:00] I mean? Like it was ripe, it was a territory ripe for potential drama or whatever. But I didn't actually ever think there was gonna be drama because I know Tom and I, you know, just like, I just, they're good people and they're levelheaded and it's all good. But still my, I had my fears and I just feel so lucky.
Eva: Yeah, I guess that's really it.
Kyley: Yeah,
Eva: Like life is fucking good dude, and I am really grateful. That's what it feels like.
Kyley: yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Eva: Okay.
Kyley: We'll see you in the fall. I mean, you'll hear us next week, but we will see all of you in the fall. We love you.