Can you truly love your body and still want to change it? This week, we answer a listener question from someone who deeply loves herself… but also kinda wants to change it. Does getting Botox or hitting the gym mean you’ve sold out your self-love? Is there room for both radical acceptance and the desire to feel even hotter? We dig into vanity, desire, body politics, and why self-love doesn’t have to mean self-stagnation. Re: body image: Hi Eva and Kyley! I love your show and here’s my question: Can I truly love myself and still want to look hotter? Like, I do love myself. I’ve done a ton of inner work around body image, self-worth, and all that good stuff. But also… I still want to glow up. I want to feel sexier, maybe lose a little weight, and I think about getting botox… And sometimes I wonder—am I being vain? Or betraying the self-love I’ve worked so hard for? Does wanting to look better mean I don’t accept myself as I am? Or is it okay to want both—to radically love who I am and also still want to turn heads when I walk into a room? Help. I’m confused and also slightly overthinking this. Thanks, love you both! Signed, Hot & Healing
Can you truly love your body and still want to change it?
This week, we answer a listener question from someone who deeply loves herself… but also kinda wants to change it.
Does getting Botox or hitting the gym mean you’ve sold out your self-love? Is there room for both radical acceptance and the desire to feel even hotter?
We dig into vanity, desire, body politics, and why self-love doesn’t have to mean self-stagnation.
Re: body image:
Hi Eva and Kyley! I love your show and here’s my question: Can I truly love myself and still want to look hotter? Like, I do love myself. I’ve done a ton of inner work around body image, self-worth, and all that good stuff. But also… I still want to glow up. I want to feel sexier, maybe lose a little weight, and I think about getting botox… And sometimes I wonder—am I being vain? Or betraying the self-love I’ve worked so hard for? Does wanting to look better mean I don’t accept myself as I am? Or is it okay to want both—to radically love who I am and also still want to turn heads when I walk into a room? Help. I’m confused and also slightly overthinking this.
Thanks, love you both! Signed, Hot & Healing
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[00:00:00] welcome back to Hello Universe everybody. This is Kylie. I'm here with Eva and we have something really fun for you all. So, uh, a while back we had requested some questions, advice column style for from y'all, and we've been collecting them.
Waiting for the moment to deliver the advice column series, um, of Hello Universe. And so this is the start of a new series where we are going to answer your questions on the podcast and we are like giddy little kids [00:01:00] about
we've got some really good questions lined up, and this first one's like a banger. It's one that I've thought. About myself often. And yeah, it's just really gonna be fun, I think, to be able to interact with you guys this way. So again, if you like, if you have questions, you can also continue to send them in to our email links, show notes.
Yeah.
For those of you who I used to like binge read, uh, advice columns, and so for anybody else who spent a lot of time, uh, doing that, this is the series is for you. Eva, you wanna
read our question for us?
Yes. Okay, here we go. Here's our first question. Hi Kylie and Eva. I love your show. And here's my question. Can I tru, can I truly love myself and still want to look hotter? Like I do love myself. I've done a ton of inner work around body image, self-worth and all that good stuff. But also I still want to glow up.
I wanna feel sexier, maybe lose a little weight, and I think about getting Botox. And sometimes I wonder, am I being vain? Or betraying the self-love I've worked so hard for. Does wanting to [00:02:00] look better mean I don't accept myself as I am? Or is it okay to want to want both dramatically, love who I am, and also want to turn heads when I walk into a room?
Help. I'm confused and also slightly overthinking this. Thanks. Love you both. Signed Hot and Healing. That's a great, great, great, great, great, great question. And like I said, um. Something I have turned over in my head many times because, uh, I'm also hot and healing.
Yes, yes, I am. I am grateful for this question because I don't know, I don't know how you could be a woman in the world and not grapple with this question on some level, to be
honest. So,
and I think it's great that we get to, because we have this like. Our podcast is looking at things through a spiritual lens. I think oftentimes in the spiritual world, it's this idea of like, oh, wanting to take like look a certain way, uh, goes against spiritualism somehow. It's like, um, superficial that we're too concerned with the material and [00:03:00] yeah.
I'm really curious, Kylie, I just wanna hand it to you off the bat. What are your thoughts?
Because there's a bunch of angles to this, right? There's to your pointing out, there is some way that we associate with healing and spirituality with like, yeah, not, I don't know, wanting to be slutty, I guess. Right? Or like not wanting to feel sexy, not wanting to like, put on makeup or whatever. And, and I think, you know, I'm sure listeners, you know, depending on how long, long you've been listening to the show, know that I'm not interested in. A kind of spirituality that disallows me access to things, right? Like I'm here for hedonistic joy as a, you know, spiritual experience. And so I think and personally have take great pleasure in like, the times that I feel like putting on makeup or like wearing sexy clothes or what, like that's a fun part of being human. also think there's a lot of. Suffering [00:04:00] when we feel like we have to look a certain way in order to like, and we have to fit the mold, that patriarchy and white supremacy and whatever the fuck has given us to feel sexy. And so then we squeeze ourself into that mold. Like that's really toxic. And at the exact same time, like we live within this with, we live within that system,
right?
And so,
Mm-hmm.
uh. I don't have a clear answer.
Yeah. Here's the thing I can give you. I have my hot takes and I'm perfectly fine saying, and I don't know if this is the end of the road for me. You know, like this will continue to evolve and I don't know, actually the truth is I just don't actually think there's a right or a wrong.
I mean, that's, that's the reality of it.
But I do wanna say to the person asking the question, or anyone who's listening, who's also grappling with the same question. It's like I do think that sharing our own personal perspectives. I think might be more balanced. You know, it's not so black and white. It's not [00:05:00] either or, it's not good or bad, right or wrong.
My hope is that that can also provide other people with a space to get clarity on like, what's right for you.
And kind of like, and really I'll simply say like, you know, listeners might not be surprised. My overarching statement on this is like, do whatever the fuck you want. And you're like, that really boils down to that.
That's like, uh, you know. The summary of it. But to break it down, I will say, I think it does really come from like who, the question I often ask myself when I'm doing something is who and or what in me is doing this? What is it motivated by? Like what is the energy or intention behind it? Like where is this coming from?
Because I really think that makes all the difference in the world, right? Like all the difference in the world. So let's like really talk about this. I love what you said about like, you know, you, you are someone who loves pleasure and the hedonistic beauty of life, and I'm right there with you. Like I love, yeah, I love [00:06:00] nice things and beauty and pop culture, you know, and I think those things can bring, bring like a lot of richness into life, but it's like, are you.
Doing these things because you're not, you're feeling like you're not enough and you feel like you need to fill some void and because you feel, um, like it's gonna maybe, is it coming from like a fear place of like, uh, I'm getting older and I don't look as hot and therefore I'm not gonna be as loved, or blah blah.
Or is it like, oh no, I like, really love myself so much. Because I really think it can come from this place. Like you can get Botox because you're like, I love myself so much and I'm gonna do whatever I can to preserve this thing, because it's just like foxy as fuck.
Yes. Well, and I think, I think you're pointing to something I totally agree with, which is like all of our actions are neutral, right? So like I. Having a protein [00:07:00] shake in the morning can be an act of love because you're like, oh, my body feels better when I have breakfast and eat a lot of protein. Or it could be punishment.
'cause it's like you're a piece of shit. You need to look a certain way. And this is like, this is your diet food. Right? So I think all of our actions are neutral and they're based on what we charge them with. And I think. Well, let's, let's, let's break, break these down a little bit. 'cause like, I actually specifically wanna talk about weight for a second because I think it's such an insidious trap that feeling hot and feeling sexy
as women is associated with being small.
Right?
And losing weight. And being trim. And I have my own personally complicated history. That's like, I'm not a small person,
right? And, um, and. I was laughing at a store the other day. I went to get fitted for new bras, which, oh my god. Good, good brass are like just everybody, [00:08:00] especially my friends out there who have big tits, like,
I was gonna say, yeah, especially you have big, beautiful titties like you. I'm sure it's a game changer for me, me.
Oh yeah, go, go. Oh this, okay, sorry. Interrupting this with the PSA, if you have big tits, go get yourself to an actual place that does actual fittings. Not that like the biggest cup size we have is double D. No, that's probably why your boobs look sad and you're uncomfortable. Like, go to a real place, get fitted, get sexy brass.
You will feel so much better. But anyways, I was there and they were like, oh, like we're sorry. You know, we don't have a ton of colors to choose from. Meanwhile, they had like 12 things for me to choose from. Uh, and I was like. Girlfriend, I have size 11 feet
and I have huge tits. I am very used to like, here are the three sizes that you can, that you know, three things you have in your size. But anyways, I say all of that because like, I'm not a small person. My body takes out space. I'm not a, you know, whatever. And, uh, and I'm, I'm kind of an, I think me middle midsize is what it's called [00:09:00] anyway at this moment in my life. So I have often felt a certain kind of. Internalized pressure to be smaller and I have often thought, like also thought that's gross and toxic and try not to engage with it.
Right. I've done, I've done all the things and I, I think that the way that we equate hot with small is so shitty and is such a toxic drain on our magic and. I 100000% know and have lived in my own life that feeling hot has nothing to do with my size. And I was at this luncheon recently and I was sitting at this table just like the most fucking incredible, brilliant woman.
And every single woman at the table was like just an really, really, really great at what they do. And one of the first things that we [00:10:00] all talked about was, wait. And I, I don't like, that's just like always been my rule. Like I don't talk about weight. Like I don't, I just don't, unless it's like a conversation like this, like I'm not gonna talk about trying to diet even if, even if the story's loud for me at that particular moment, I don't talk about it because I don't wanna fucking feed that.
I don't wanna feed the idea that, that, like dieting is a good thing. Eating healthy. Absolutely. But like diet culture anyway. Um, but like the first round of conversation that everybody had had to do with like. Bodies and age and childbirth and weight, and it was this like reoccurring thing about weight.
And I was feeling so sad and it passed, but I felt so sad that I was like, here is this table of like brilliant fucking women. Is this like our like peace offering to be like, oh, I'm not that great. Like, like it just felt like everyone was like cutting themselves down to size by like giving a shit about being smaller.
And meanwhile I was like, first of all, you're all hot as fuck, and second of all, I wanna hear about the brilliant shit you do. I [00:11:00] don't care about what your like breakfast diet routine is.
right. Or was there also a sense of like, let's be relatable. Like
That's what it felt like Yes, it felt
do this thing where we're not gonna talk about like, like let's dumb it down a little bit actually. Like we're gonna dumb it down and this is something that all women can relate to, and so let me be relatable and it comes from.
Very, I'm not, I don't think there's, I'm not hearing criticism from you, but, but rather it's like understanding like it's painful, you know, like, this sucks because we do this because of our conditioning. But yeah, there is a sense of like, so then let's talk about something that's relatable and like, this is it.
Uh, we, we all, we're all women and so we all must understand the struggle of like weight.
Yes, and the like, look, let's not shine. Like just that thing that's baked in. It's like, let's not shine too bright, right? Like, here, let me offer my insecurities up so that we all know that we all like, despite the fact that we're genius, brilliant businesswomen, we all feel bad about our bodies. So like no one is shining too
bright, you know?
Oh, this is so interesting. [00:12:00] I have to say, um, I'm curious because I'm, I don't think Gen ZI would, I would, I wonder, I don't know if Gen Z struggles with this that much. I, I'm actually surprised that this came up in the conversation. 'cause I feel like even as us millennials, it's, it also really doesn't come up as much.
I feel like in my mothers. Generation. It was like so normal, and it was so normal for moms and women of that generation to be like, oh, so I need to eat a little bit less. You know, they'd be very vocal about like trying to stay small, but I think that that's actually really changed a lot. So I'm surprised that,
I dunno if it's changed a lot or if it's just that we've been really intentional about the communities that we are part of.
Hmm. Yeah, maybe. Yeah.
'cause I've, I've bet, I mean, these women tend to give credit, like they are all brilliant women. And so we were having this conversation and there was clearly a aware, there was clearly a thread about kindness and about how it's good to be strong and Right.
It wasn't, it wasn't the kind of like totally toxic thing, but I saw how much, it's just like still the thing that we go to. But I have been in other rooms where it is absolutely the, a thing that [00:13:00] women
Oh wow.
on. So I don't, I, I don't know, could be
wrong, but I don't think it's, you know, um.
Well, I think it's also cool to know, for me to say that out loud then, that it's also possible to be in rooms where that's not, where that's not the norm.
Yes. Yes.
But anyway. Okay. Continue.
Well, that's kind of brings me to the end of my point in some ways, which is just like, I think some of the times when we're fixating on like, oh, I would feel hotter if I were smaller. It's just internalized patriarchal bullshit of like small is palatable and, and doesn't. Benefit us. And so I think the question that I'm curious about is like, how do we grapple with that?
Like I don't, 'cause I also don't wanna make wrong that we're living in this world in which like, yeah, sometimes we do feel hotter. If we're smaller. Like that's the thing that happens to us. So even if you live in the world where you're like, I think that's a bullshit paradigm also, I live in it also, I've lost 20 pounds and now I feel a certain kind of way.
And I, and, [00:14:00] and, and so how do we, like, how do we. I think this is what the question is. Hot and healing is pointing to like how do we grapple with knowing it's a fucked up paradigm, but also still living within it and like kind of wanting to win by the toxic rules even as we wanna opt out of the toxic rule.
Well I think I'm okay. So much is coming up for me in this. Is that like, you know, 'cause it's so interesting. There is it's, it is this conversation of like. My body, my choice. Right. And, and I think that that's true. And, but then even sometimes people would be like, yeah, but if you're gonna go and like, try and lose weight so that you can fit into the stereotype or you know, fit into these rules, you're just, you're feeding the system, right?
You're adding to the problem. And so actually it's not your body, your rules. Like you need to be able to like step out. And I'm like, that's very confusing. You know? 'cause there's policing happening on all levels. And also we police ourselves, we police ourselves where we go, [00:15:00] no, but if I do wanna lose weight, then.
I'm a, I'm being a traitor to my, to my, to my sex, you know what I mean? Or to my generation. And that's all very confusing. And I think that what if like, you couldn't do it wrong. That's what's coming up for me right now. It's like, what if you cut yourself some fucking slack? Dear listener, and anyone else listening, you know, and you just cut yourself some slack and you'd be like, this is a really complicated system.
And what if the stakes aren't that high? Like, what if you do decide to lose weight and it doesn't make you a trader to your generation, and maybe five years down the line you'll be like, oh, actually, that wasn't really coming from a completely healed place and now I have a different perspective on it.
But it doesn't mean that you are an asshole. Do you know what I mean? Like all of a sudden I'm just noticing that the rhetoric around this feels so intense. 'cause we're so stuck in like right or wrong. It's right or wrong. Right or wrong. I have to do it right. I have to do it. And it's like, wait, what if we could just chill out and like you are off the hook, [00:16:00] dear listener, like hot and healing.
You are off the hook. I don't even know if you're gonna be able to do it right, but allow yourself to make mistakes too.
Ooh, I got tears in my eyes as you said that. Yeah.
Okay. Well, I mean, 'cause it's confusing, it's really confusing and because, okay, and I wanna, I wanna add, again, share from my own perspective, right? It's like, where I struggle with this is like I, you know, you talked about weight, which I thought was really interesting because that's something, yeah, that I think all women, it's inescapable.
I have this other like relationship with beauty where, you know, I think I've referenced to you before, at least Kylie and some of the listeners might know, like I grew up in LA and like I have a subset of friends who are so LA and like that's in me. Like my friends have said like, you can take the girl out of LA but you cannot take LA out of the girl.
You know, and it's like there is this sense of like [00:17:00] Hollywood glam blah, blah, blah, and. I, and I have a lot of friends who are getting like surgeries and plastic, plastic surgery, minor plastic surgery, Botox fillers, like blah, blah, blah. And they're like successful, beautiful, smart, awesome, loving women. And I'm like, part of me is like, do you, like, do you, but part of me is also like, but are you just again, perpetuating this really like terrible system?
And I'm like, and I thought for myself like, okay, would I ever get Botox? If I ever did? I don't think I would criticize myself, but it's also, I have to acknowledge to myself that it's not gonna solve like my problems, because at the end of the day, what I'm really running away from is my, is my, um, oh, what's the word I'm looking for?
Death. What do you, what's another
oh, Mortality.
What I'm running away from is mortality is like it, it might give me like. Uh, you know, even if I [00:18:00] were to like go and get like total facial facial reconstruction or whatever and be like one of the Jenners or whatever, like you can't run away from it forever.
Eventually I'm gonna be 70 or 80 and I don't care how much plastic surgery you do or how, like much money you have, like, you know, I've seen it even in the people in Hollywood who have a shit ton of money. Like they end up looking a little toe up, you know?
And then it's like, and then it's like, and I don't, and I'm like, dude, I guess I actually have a lot of compassion for people in Hollywood. 'cause that is your whole fucking job, man. Your whole life is, has been now dedicated to like looking a certain way and that's gotta be rough. And so you have a certain standard that you are keeping up and I'm sure it's very confusing.
But then eventually, like I think the ultimate spiritual question I ask is, can I be happy? The ultimate spiritual glow up for me is this very high standard of like, can I be [00:19:00] happy even if I look terrible, like that seems like that would be the peak of liberation. You know, like being so comfortable in myself and loving myself so much and feeling so whole that it didn't, didn't matter what I looked like on the outside because I would be, um, so complete.
But I actually think that's like. I feel like I'm making all these contradictions because I'm like, on one hand I think that is a possibility, but before I get there, I think that's a really high standard for myself that like, if I'm not there, it doesn't mean that I'm not spiritually, you know, evolved. I.
yeah. Well, and I think what's is a co, I mean this is so rich 'cause there's a bunch of things coming up for me as you're saying all that too. One like, just silly side note is that my husband was watching, we were watching a trailer to some. Much older movie and Helen Miran is in it and it's, and so she's pretty young 'cause it's like, I forget when the movie came out, but I was like, oh damn, Helen Mein [00:20:00] now is like, so fucking banging.
And, and she just looks fine. She just looks like a generic actress, right? Like,
I like worship at the feed of Helen Miran. And I was like seeing her in this preview and it was like. Almost, almost forgettable in the way that like, I think Hollywood people all kind of look the
same. And there was a really beautiful moment of how much, like, like like aging. You know? We have this silly paradigm that like, oh, when you're younger and like your skin is flawless, you're hotter. And I was like, oh, Helen Mirror now is a thousand times hotter.
Like, and no shade on the younger version of her
just right. Like, she's like lived well. Like life looks good on her, you know, life looks good on her.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Um, and so that was just like one thing coming to my mind. But the other thing that's interesting is that I think in some ways you and I have opposite child, like experiences in the sense of like, you grew up in la like you're an la girly
on at heart, and like, so glamor was just like a thing around you.
Like, I'm a fisherman's daughter from New England, right?
I know, I [00:21:00] know. I love this contradiction so much. I think it's so fun. Uhhuh.
And so like I, and I remember being in Miami when I was in my very early twenties on a work trip, and I remember just being like, so. Holli, like overwhelmed in a way that I had, like, I was laughing at it, but I was just like, I am a nerdy, bookish girlfriend who lives in like Cambridge, Massachusetts, like with like, whose like accessory, you know, this was the early two thousands when we all wore scarfs all the time.
So like my accessories were like, which big scarf am I gonna wear with
my giant glasses?
Yep. Mm-hmm.
And I'm in Miami, right? She's just like, oh, like, oh, I don't, this is.
Yeah. Yeah. This is a different world.
is a different vibe. And, and I, and I like, I love all of that about myself. And I can see how when I was younger I didn't allow myself to feel hot.
Like it was just
like a thing that I somehow was like belongs to other people, didn't give myself access to. And I think also I was like afraid [00:22:00] of, was like
afraid of that kind. Like I was like, I'm cute, you know?
Um. It's as I've gotten older that I'm like, oh, I'm fucking hot. And it's taken me a long time to really lean into that.
And, and so for me, feeling hot is totally about power, right? And like, and like, and specifically my internal relationship to like, I'm willing to feel. Powerful I'm, 'cause the hot is confident. Right? And
really like, and, and and for me, like the girl who wanted to be cute, like didn't really want anyone to pay attention, you know, wanted like
just enough attention that she was like comfortable and safe.
But the me who's comfortable being hot is like, oh yeah, of course you're gonna turn your fucking heads 'cause I'm amazing.
Right? And, and um, and not that I was some shrinking wallflower wallflower when I was younger, but. 'cause this laugh has always been loud. No one will be surprised. But, but I do think, when I think about like the feeling of being hot, it's [00:23:00] about power and my willingness to have access to power and confidence. And, and so maybe that also come, coming back to the question is like part of where. I think our relationship with things like Botox or diet is fucked up is because we're outsourcing our power, right? We're like making ourselves smaller, palatable, like I'll be worthy, like the conditional, like I'll be worthy when I, you know, fix X, y, and z things as opposed to, um, like they can, they can be often really disempowering acts. Which is different than, but, but to the point of everything's neutral. They can be empowering acts, right? It can be like, oh, like I love my body enough to lift weights and feel super fucking strong, or whatever the thing
is, right? And so my one thing that I wanna offer to hot and [00:24:00] healing is like, what makes you feel powerful?
Yeah. Ooh, I like that. Yeah. What makes you feel powerful? Not exactly, I think, again, not as a, Hmm? Like what do you, what should you not do? Or what do you like, what it's not like. 'cause you were talking earlier, even at the top of the essay, you're like, sometimes in spirituality, spirituality, we think about.
These things of like, oh, I shouldn't wear makeup, I shouldn't do this. It's not, and it's not about like right or wrong or what you shouldn't do, but it's like what? How, yeah. What makes you feel powerful? Because I actually think your example of like the new being, like the New England girl is really important because what I see there is like, for a lot of people, um, their leveling up is to allow themselves to be really hot.
Mm-hmm. '
cause it's gonna be subjective. It's different for different people, right? If you're like an LA girly, you have a different path. Your path may be like, can I find freedom? And like wholeness without needing to rely [00:25:00] on external things for safety and comfort and value. But then for someone else who's been, who hasn't allowed themselves to be hot because they felt like that was wrong or they needed to hide, then your glow up is like, oh fuck.
Let me just unleash this shit and go full force. You know what I mean? It's like, it's like, so it's gonna be different for different people. And again, sort of coming back to like, what, what in. W what or who in you, you know, is directing this ship.
But I really love this idea of like also what makes you feel powerful and knowing that like in five years or five months, that might change.
Yeah.
And the other thing that came to my mind so strongly as you were. Talking about how you can't do it wrong was thinking about the the yes and right and the like. Like what does it look like? You, you, you said hot and healing. What's the Yes. And of your relationship to food or exercise or aging or. The clothes you put on your body [00:26:00] because we do so often. This either or this if then this like condition like, well if I do this then I will be hot. If I do this, then I will get people to pay attention. If I do this, then I will feel good about myself. And then what if it's like I am hot, full stop in all spaces, always.
I am confident and powerful and, and I like playing this game of wearing certain kind of clothes. Or I like, you know. Relating to my body in this particular kind of kind of way. Um, so the, yes. And, and then the other thing that I wanna add too specifically about this is perhaps specifically about weight, but I don't think we talk about it often enough.
We make weight so bad,
right? And this idea of like, like, you know, the like smaller is better. I just wanna offer, you know, someone who's like fluctuated at different points in her life. Our [00:27:00] bodies love us. I wanna remind myself like our bodies love us so fucking much, and if we have weight that we don't want, or that some part of us thinks that we don't want, like. That is 100000% your body trying to love you and like your body is like protecting you, holding onto something for you. Like whatever it is, we so badly wanna make it wrong, but you're just attacking some part of you that really, really loves you. And
I have had a lot of, I've had. Very healing experiences like relating to, you know, what has felt like excess in my body as like love and like seeing it as protection and being in conversation and also being in conversation sometimes of like, you know what, this has been a really great protect per source of protection.
And also we don't need that kind of protection right now. Or whatever the case might be. Right.
But, um. [00:28:00] That's one. One thing I wanna say is like being in, like finding a different narrative relationship to our bodies. That's not this like either or. Um, and, and one other thing that's been really help really powerful for me is realizing that the dominant narrative isn't my narrative. Like, and doesn't have to be. And specifically I had this really powerful aha where I realized like. I like that my body is soft, right? Like I, I got big tits. Like I have, like, you know, I've got soft pudgy places and I had this really powerful moment where through a whole lifetime of some part of me, not all part of me, but some part of me thinking like, oh, like thin and lean is the thing.
And then realizing like, I like the softness of my body. I, this is my, I like it this way. Um, and it's only some other story that makes me think I should like it other ways. And then from that place, being able [00:29:00] to like, choose, like, choose methods of care that are more in line with the way I actually per, I personally, like my body as opposed to some outside story.
Does that make sense? What I'm
trying to speak to?
Yeah, I think yes. Well, yes. Okay. I wanna comment. I feel like you just said a lot there, so I'm gonna like speak to. For the first part you were talking about like, you know, your, you know, weight, sometimes weight is a way that our body is like loving and protecting us. And so what that took me to was just, um, to share with hot and healing.
And everybody who's listening, it's like, actually it's. Both. And I mean, you can be on this journey of like wanting to turn heads and that could be like really, really fun. But I can't imagine that, I mean, it doesn't have to come separate from also just having a deeper connection with your body. Like as you're going through this whole process of like, I don't know, maybe you wanna lose a little weight, like, but also [00:30:00] don't forget to connect with your body because like that process is gonna be the thing that serves you.
Like for the rest of your life and so much more deeply along the way. And I think you will learn a lot of things. You know, it's like go and do the things that make you feel powerful. But hopefully in all of it, it's just a coming back to your body. Coming back to your body, like, and honoring your body continuously and like connecting with it so much that, that you get clarity about what actually feels like truth for you and what actually feels like safety and love for you.
And again, we're gonna like, you know. Get it. We're gonna like change our mind throughout the whole process. But you know, I, the reason I thought about that was like just this beautiful relationship that you have with your body. You know, Kylie talking about how like you, like how it is. And that came from, I think, deep introspection, separate of societal stories,
you know? And so as long as we're doing that too continuously, I think that'll really support [00:31:00] us in our blow up process, you know? Yeah.
Yes.
Yeah. Um, and then the thing that I wanna say about, what was it that second point that you made
Which is that I like, I like, that my body's soft, like I like the soft places of my body.
Yes. Oh, right. That you were talking about changing the narrative. I think you were talking about, or not changing the narrative, but like defining your own narrative. And I think that's the part that is how I experience that in myself. That feels like a paradox, is that. I think that's really important 'cause we as a society divide, like decide what's beautiful and we individually have a say in that.
Right? So I loved what you were saying about Helen Miran, right? It's like I see older women and I just think they're so beautiful. Or I see women who are considered curvier or bigger and I'm like, they're so beautiful, they're so hot. You know? That's how I feel about that. And I think that is, and I think that's also changing.
I think the narrative is changing and I think that makes a difference. The only [00:32:00] problem is. I am so much harder on myself. You know, like I see my friends who talk about how they're aging and I'm like, but I think you're so beautiful and I don't even notice anything, you know? But then I go around and I can like be so much more critical when it comes to myself.
So like that's like the thing that I am, it's like, I think the inner work here for me is like, yeah, what narrative? It's a continuous like process. And it's not like, I don't know if I'll ever be done with it. It's like. Knowing that changing the narrative, I actually think is what's gonna change societal expectations.
And I do think if, yeah, I think it comes from within and I'm still working on that, but at least I can see it from without, you know.
Yes. Yes. And the thing that I really got, one of the things that really landed for me, as you were saying, all of that, it's like what is the narrative and what are the actions and what are the intentions? That make your body feel like a great place to belong,[00:33:00]
Mm. Mm-hmm.
that I love how much you keep reminding Hot and healing and all of us like permission for it to evolve.
It will change. You will pick a path and then halfway down it, you might realize you wanna, you wanna detour, but like. We belong to our bodies. And the world wants to tell us that we don't, but, but the world also, especially capitalism, is like, but if you do X, Y, and Z, then you might belong to your body. And it's like we belong to ourselves.
And so what are the, what are the actions and the intentions and the narratives that give you the greatest entry point to that? And maybe it's Botox and maybe it's never, ever looking at a Botox ad again. Like
you have to be the one to choose that. Um. And I, I just, so there you go. Hot and healing. We answer your question with a whole bunch of questions.
Which is, I think the only real way we can really, honestly answer a question. 'cause you know, this is, um, we're trying to get to the [00:34:00] truth of it here,
Right?
sometimes the truth starts with a question.
Yes. So send us your questions if you would like more
Yes, if this was helpful for you or honestly, if this is something that you've talked about with your friends before, which I feel like a lot of people do, 'cause um, it's something like, this is something that I think is so relatable that like, you know, that we, that a lot of people can relate to. It's such a good question.
So if this is helpful, send it to your friend and send us your question so we can keep doing the Hello Universe advice column. We can't wait for more.