One of Kyley’s witchy besties, Jessica Belardi, comes on the show to talk about motherhood and magic….like sending reiki to your chicken, the witch wound as a mom, and asking chaos gods to get you to school on time. We also talk about paradox and the intersection of vulnerability and power. Enjoy!
One of Kyley’s witchy besties, Jessica Belardi, comes on the show to talk about motherhood and magic….like sending reiki to your chicken, the witch wound as a mom, and asking chaos gods to get you to school on time. We also talk about paradox and the intersection of vulnerability and power. Enjoy!
Find Jessica here -
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/multifaceted-mama/id1567270819
https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=21662851
instagram.com/jessicabelardi
Love is the power, Brazil
https://www.theworkwithtom.com/brazil2025.html
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Kyley's Instagram: @kyleycaldwell
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Kyley: [00:00:00] Welcome to Hello Universe everybody. I'm so happy to have you here. We are, it's Kyley, we're still in our window where Eva's taking a brief hiatus from the show. She'll be back in just a couple of weeks, but in the meantime, I get to share some of my other brilliant, wise, spiritual besties. Y'all are in for such a delightful treat today.
Kyley: Um. Before I tell you about my guests and how obsessed with her I am, I briefly want to let everybody know two things. Um, if you [00:01:00] would like in person, in real life magic, which the answer is yes, of course you do. There are two ways you can do that. One, Eva's incredible retreat that she, uh, started supported last year in Brazil is happening again in March.
Kyley: If it wasn't at the week of birdies birthday, I would 1000 percent be there. So please go on my behalf and tell me how amazing it is. Um, that is happening. You can sign up for it, get all the details in her Instagram bio. Um, and. And I also have a retreat that I have been kind of keeping a secret, but it is for only four people.
Kyley: So there are only two spots left. So it's a nice cozy retreat in the mountains of Tennessee. Uh, the very beginning of March, very end of February. That's all about what is your vision. Your big creative vision for writing a book or crafting the next evolution of your business or scaling to be able to quit your job or whatever the hungry creative vision is come together [00:02:00] with Catherine Doris, who's my right hand woman in my business and myself.
Kyley: We've got operations covered. We've got. Scheming and dreaming covered. Obviously there will be magic. Um, so yeah, if you want in person, come to elevate with me and do both. So Eva's beautiful heart opening retreat in Brazil. That being said, welcome to my very, very, very dear friend, Jess Bilardi. So my, our guest today is someone who has held me more times than I can count and is one of the most powerful energy workers, shamanic, shamanic goddess, ethereal beings.
Kyley: Who also curses like a sailor,
Kyley: and in particular, one of the things that I find spectacular about our guest today is her [00:03:00] capacity to help you embody and become the divine person that you are. The unfiltered, authentic, most magical version of yourself in a way that's like deeply rooted in the earth and balances not taking itself too seriously while also realizing that you are wildly, ridiculously, stupidly powerful.
Kyley: Um, so If you, uh, are looking for some divine embodiment mindset magic, you found the right spot. Welcome to the show, Jas.
Jess: Hello. Thank you for having me. I'm so excited to be here. I know.
Kyley: It's kind of weird that you haven't been on the show before, actually, but we were waiting for this moment.
Jess: I know. I think, I think it was the right moment because the shift lately has been so massive that I mean.
Jess: You know, how could it not be?
Kyley: So, uh, I should also just put a disclaimer before we like jump into our conversation. Um, Jess and I have pet names for each [00:04:00] other. And I will call her hope and she will call me more rope. And, uh, hard to not, it's, it's gonna be really hard for us to not you. Just know that if you hear a Hope or a Marope thrown around, that's our, that's our cute little pet names for each other.
Kyley: Okay, so that being said, Hope, what is life teaching you right now?
Jess: Life, life has taught me a lot lately, but the thing that dropped into my head when I saw this question was that two things can be true at once. There's so much shifting and changing happening, um, not only within my business, but with my own like magic, my own power, um, with my own mindset.
Jess: And I think with all the mindset shifts that I've done and worked with, you know, within myself lately, I'm finding that. With our expansion, we hold a higher capacity to hold, um, [00:05:00] emotions and thoughts and, you know, plans and all of these things, and it started to not make sense to only hold one truth at a time, because I can be tired and also want to work and find a way around that.
Jess: That kind of just comes from a mindset shift. I can wake up and it could kind of be a gloomy day. And I can still simultaneously be excited to dive into what I have to dive into that day. And, um, you know, I've always used this logic with my kids, um, in a slightly different way. You can feel two things at once.
Jess: You can experience feeling two things at once. You can miss mommy at school, but also have a fun day, you know, and it kind of evolved and it changed. And I just am noticing that life is really throwing me opportunities to hold multiple truths at once and not feel hypocritical for them.
Kyley: Oh, I'm so glad that you're speaking to this because unsurprisingly I have been experiencing something similar and I talk about this with my kids a lot [00:06:00] too.
Kyley: For context, y'all, our kids are very close in age. We, she, uh, uh, each have two kids. They're very close in age. Um, and I talk about this with Desi a lot in particular, my Pisces moon son, like, It's actually using usually everything at the same time, right? And so for his birthday, which is very recently, I know you also just we got to Capricorn eldest children and Desi had a moment of like kind of overwhelm of like Expectations and excitement and like and it happens every year I had those when I was a kid too so I was just like waiting for it to hit and that was what we talked about is like That it is, like, this is a day where it is really, really exciting, and everyone you love is here, and also, there are going to be some moments where, like, you feel normal emotions of sadness or, you know, what, anger or frustration, and, like, the point is to let it be all of those things.[00:07:00]
Kyley: Um, I'm curious to know more about where that feels like it's showing up. In your life. So I hear you on the parenting and you and I could go down the slippery slope where we talk about our kids like, but I'm curious to know a little bit about you mentioned it showing up more in your life. And is there a particular place where it's showing up a lot?
Jess: Um, no, you know what, I gotta be honest, usually it would be that. But I think with this whole, like, you can hold multiple truths at once, it's actually showing up in a million areas in my life. Almost all the areas of my life. Because, I think, I think what happens is when we, I know myself, I know I am going through a consciousness shift.
Jess: Um, and it's, Absolutely massive. You know, you can like feel your subconscious kind of like stepping between dimensions and worlds, um, at, you know, certain periods in your, like, awakening, whatever, because the awakening is never truly over, right? And I think because I have one foot here and one foot almost like in another [00:08:00] dimension half the time, you know, this is showing up in lots of areas.
Jess: And with that being said, I think while I'm kind of experiencing this shift and the reason that it's showing up in all aspects is because there's so many parts of me dying off. There are, I mean, you know, I'm going to give you, I'm going to give you like a little example, not a massive example, but there's lots of stuff dying off.
Jess: Um, And we got this is not about my kid. I swear. We got Ava allowed.
Kyley: They're invited. And I think the heart of my question actually was wanting to get some specifics of like a particular place, like which is what you're doing here. Give us an example so we can sink our teeth into it.
Jess: Okay. So, yeah, so I'm not going to go even go into business stuff, but I think let's talk about confidence because, um, I have been feeling, you can hold two truths at once in this realm.
Jess: So we got Ava a piano for Christmas, uh, Christmas for her birthday. Her birthday was yesterday. Um, I, fun fact about Jess, I play the piano. I grew up playing the [00:09:00] piano. Almost nobody knows that about me. Um, Yeah, I did not know that. Did you know that? No. Okay. Jess also grew up in voice lessons, right? So I could sing, I could play the piano.
Jess: No one knows it. Um, however, I now, you know, I now have a piano in my, in my home. My parents have my piano. Um, but now I have a piano in my own home and I don't play in front of people because that is just for me, but it is also, I sat down to play. The kids went to bed last night and I was like, Oh, I'm going to play the piano.
Jess: And I had this like waiver in confidence. And I was like, but am I still good at the piano? Cause I don't play often anymore. You know, I play, but I don't play often. And, um, I had, I had that tear between moment and I was like, okay, well, I can sit here and feel not confident in this or like, You know, maybe self conscious about this.
Jess: And I can also sit down and play the fucking piano. I can't, I'm not just going to get up and be like, forget it. It doesn't matter. And [00:10:00] so this, this kind of like, I'm feeling these both emotions at once, but I can hold them and I can carry them and it's not going to stop me, you know? Yes. Yeah, go. I'm all
Kyley: buzzy because this is literally precisely where I am.
Kyley: Like this, this very question has been something that I've been sitting with. It's been so alive right now. And I've been describing it as this feeling of like one foot on the gas, one foot on the brake. Um, because, and I think actually if we wanted to put it in, um, like psychology terms, I think I've been experiencing a little bit of like functional freeze, whereas like this is like.
Kyley: I want to and I don't want to at the exact same time. And there's just this holding pattern energy. And in some ways, That's a much
Jess: better way to explain what I just said. Thank you. My fucking mercury cap for my mercury can't, my cancer mercury was not working there. But yeah, that was a better way to explain it.
Kyley: Well, it helps because I've been like living in it and, and frustrated, honestly, by living in it. Um, because I've been [00:11:00] having a lot of experiences of Um, like wanting to be able to do something and then just somehow like not and this could be something like the way I was kind of describing it for me where it's been alive for me is I'll sit down and I will some part of me will want to be like we're going to really rest and I want to like read a book but then some part of me is like buzzy and full of ideas for doing work and I will Do neither like energy energetically, not just action wise, I might have the book in front of me, but some part of my energy is like really attached to the doing of the work and some part of my energy is attached to the let's read the book and then I end up just in this, um, yeah, it feels like a hovering energy where I'm not actually getting the benefit of.
Kyley: reading the book and just relaxing. And I'm also not getting the benefit of doing the creative work that I love. And the cycle is exhausting. It's like doggy paddling energy.
Jess: Yes.
Kyley: And, and [00:12:00] so I, I just love that what you're speaking to is like one way that we can get out of that is like, actually right now, some part of me does want to play the piano and some part of me doesn't at the exact same time.
Kyley: They're just both true. And I just have to, and I, what I'm, what I'm Kind of intuiting hearing you say is that they're both true and so you have to just pick one
Jess: you pick Yeah You have to pick one and not Feel guilty or bad or make it mean something about yourself that you chose the one that you chose and you kind of just have To move forward and stick with it You know And that's, it's shown up in so many ways in my life lately, like just kind of everywhere, and I agree, I think it really is because there is some massive consciousness shift happening and lots of parts of us are dying off and so now we can hold, there is that capacity to hold more inside of us and Understand more about ourselves rather than getting stuck in that moment.
Jess: Where you are like, oh my God, I feel both and now here I am doing nothing, you know.
Kyley: Yes, right. And then for me, sometimes like all [00:13:00] the, the time, the kid free time ends and I'm like, oh, well I didn't like. I just locked it up. It feels to me like that hovering when I don't, when I don't commit, when I don't choose, I just lack an opportunity to be nourished.
Kyley: It's like playing the piano, not playing the piano. Both are actually neutral, right? Reading the book, doing work. They're all, no one is actually the right one, but it's the not choosing. It's the hovering. It's the like, will I or won't I? That just robs us of like nourishment and pleasure.
Jess: Yeah, I completely agree.
Jess: And it also, you kind of feel for me when I feel this like stuck in limbo feeling, it's that same, it is that same feeling of like, okay, well, I just wasted my kid free time. Like I just wasted my me time. And so even if I choose one and it, maybe it's not like the actual best, at least I chose and did something, you know what I mean?
Kyley: Yes. A thousand percent. Like [00:14:00] just, that's what I find whenever I can just like. Doesn't matter what you choose. Just so, um, can I ask the question that's coming to my mind is to ask you to share a little bit where this is coming up with your business, because you are an incredible mindset coach and a super powerful shaman, this beautiful energy worker and, uh, leader.
Kyley: Um, and I know you're in an expansion period energetically around work. And so I'm curious where this is showing up.
Jess: So this shows up a lot actually when, when I'm deep diving into a client's, um, the roots behind a specific mindset, because a lot of the time the reason that somebody is getting stuck is because they don't know how to.
Jess: to choose or they don't know how to hold these, you know, multiple things inside their body and move forward at the same time. So you can simultaneously be healing and still be [00:15:00] embodying the highest, most true version of yourself. It doesn't have to be that like, okay, we're all healed. We, you know, we went back, we healed the past lives, we cut the cords, we did all the things.
Jess: And now I am healed. No. Right. That's actually
Kyley: sneaky perfectionism, right? Yeah,
Jess: absolutely. Yeah. Yes, that is absolutely sneaky perfectionism. It shows up when we're deep, deep diving into the mindset, um, the mindset roots. And it's like, okay, so we're stuck in these cycles. Right. And, you know, we pick a cycle that we're stuck in.
Jess: And my question is usually, you know, where to, where did this cycle start? Was it with you? Was it with your parents? Was it with a family member? You know, was it something you were told about yourself? And. You know, we kind of, you get into this, this kind of cyclical thing of, okay, like, Oh, it must be reminds you of like the chicken and the egg, you know, like which came first, which started first, where did it come from?
Jess: And so we're feeling, you know, we moved through the session, [00:16:00] we're feeling confident, but also we're healing from the past thing at the same time. And the goal is to not allow. what we're feeling from that session to pull us backward, right? We can feel these two things at once. We can feel the energy of what we're currently healing, right?
Jess: Whether it be a past life, an inner child wound, inner teenage wound. And we can also feel the power of that choice we just made to move forward. We can feel the power of that new mindset that we decided to anchor into at the same time. So these two truths can be there at once because the truth is one healing is not linear.
Jess: Okay. Not like you wake up and you're like, damn, she shamanic to the shit out of me, you know, like, yes, I mean, I
Kyley: do feel that every time I get a session from you, you might also, it's not linear,
Jess: you might feel that, but at the same time, like you're going to process, you know, you're going to process the changes that we made in your, you know, in your cellular body, in your subconscious, you're going to process those things, you get [00:17:00] to feel both and you don't get to be pulled backwards by it.
Jess: And that's, I think, one of the biggest things with the clients that I work with and the clients that I, I tend to call in because I know, you know, me, I'm not very good with. People who don't
Kyley: want to dive into the deep end? I'm so sorry. I'm
Jess: trying to sound like such a fucking douche here. But you know what?
Jess: It's really my superpower. I'm not good with people who, um, don't make change when it's necessary. You know? I'm not good with that. And I think that's actually my superpower in the session. And, yeah, you can hold these two truths at once, but I'll be damned if it's going to pull you backwards. It's funny
Kyley: because just this morning I was, uh, kind of chatting with Spirit and unsurprisingly, I'm not surprised actually, it's like, oh, the theme of the day, um, but one of the messages that really strongly came through was this thing that I teach on.
Kyley: And yet once again, I'm learning, which is, um, you're never actually ready. [00:18:00] And that's the other piece that I'm hearing you speak to is like, you see, you see the wounds, you see the tenderness, you see the like healing that you're doing and you do it anyway. And you commit and you lean in and you make the changes.
Kyley: And it is really, I think, insidious for a lot of us that we can just get trapped in this cycle where Well, we love heal. We love the journey of the magic and the healing and the like discovering our tender rescuing our like tender little hearts. Um, but it can turn into it can turn into this process where we delay actually experiencing what we came here to experience because we're.
Kyley: Like looking for there to be one more thing to heal one more block and it's the yes and of it, right? It's the yes and that um,
Jess: and that's also I think that's also a defense mechanism You know the I have one I have one [00:19:00] more thing to heal if then if I heal this then that will happen I feel like you use the if then constant, you know all the time But yeah, you know if I have one more I have one more thing So then I will step into my power I have one more thing and I can cozy back up into this misery for just a little bit longer You Because this is the stuck that we're used to rather than deep diving and jumping off this cliff into that new because what if you don't understand what to do there, right?
Jess: That's the fear. That's not the reality. And you
Kyley: won't. That's also the truth. I mean, that's, I think the truth. There's a part of you is like, what if I don't know how to, what if I won't, I won't know. It'll be new. It'll be different. And the truth is, It will, right?
Jess: That's, you know, that's, that's the human condition, I think, you know, like we live in this world where things are constantly shifting and changing, and we are creatures that are inherently afraid of change, you know, we are afraid of change because we don't know what's going to happen, and the only way is through, the only way is forward, you know, there's really no other option unless you do truly wish to [00:20:00] remain stuck, and that's the kind of hard, um, Truth, which sucks, but it actually doesn't suck.
Jess: It's just a hard truth. I think a lot of us don't like that Because we do like to cozy up into the past But there's really there's nothing to do but make the choice to move forward because life's gonna do it for you Anyway, it's really a matter of how you show up when life
Kyley: happens Okay, I have a question.
Kyley: That's a little bit of a pivot, but I feel like they'll all weave back together one of the things that I Just a door about you is how much your experiences with spirit and the mystic and the mystical are so interwoven through all of your life, right? It's not you are somebody who is like talking to spirit while you cook your kids dinner and, um, is like, you know, you know, does these beautiful rituals with her daughter before she goes to school every day.
Kyley: Like it's not, I think for a lot of people, uh, spirit and mystical experiences and like, quote, unquote, real life are very separate spheres. [00:21:00] Um, and I think you are someone who does, there's a really beautiful job of it all being the same. And so I would actually just love For you to share like some day in the life vibes, because I think when I when years ago when I was trying to let these spheres be more one.
Kyley: Um, I found it so expansive when I would hear stories of people who like this. Talk to spirit while they chopped up onions. So I would love to just ask you to share a little bit of like, uh, I don't know the weird ways in which spirit is just fucking with you. I
Jess: think, um, my day to day, you're right. I am very, very often.
Jess: And kind of all throughout the day, speaking with spirit, it's, it's like, not even like I asked for it. I mean, they're just like, Hey, what's up, bitch? Like, what you doing? You washing your face? Cool. Look in the mirror. Who are you? What you [00:22:00] doing? What's the vibe today? You know, and I'm like, what the fuck is happening?
Jess: And I think part of, um, part of the reason that I allow it into every part of my life comes from the confidence in my belief system. And so it started, you know, we all have that moment when we feel fractured. Yeah. You know, we feel like there's, you know, spiritual Jess, friend Jess, mom Jess, wife Jess, and I, I don't like feeling uncomfortable.
Jess: You know, I'm, I, the cancerian parts of me are very, very guided by how I feel, which is why my mercury, you know, you hear me say, I feel like a lot because that's the way in which I communicate too. And so. As soon as I started feeling like everything was fractured and I didn't feel whole or right, I decided to cut that shit out and I let it kind of flow through every part of my day.
Jess: And so it looks like the moment that consciousness hits me. Right. So the second that I'm like, all right, I'm awake, um, I ground in bed immediately. So I'm grounding. I call my energy back because I travel a [00:23:00] lot in my sleep. Um, I'm like fucking all over the place. So I have to call my energy back to feel normal.
Jess: Otherwise I have brain fog all day. Um, which was a really cool realization. That's something that massively shifted the way that I'm able to move through life because I was really foggy a lot of my early life before I was awake. Um, and realizing that my fucking parts were everywhere, you know, everywhere all night.
Jess: So I'm proud. Okay, wait,
Kyley: I want you to continue, but I'm just going to interject. I was having like a really intense experience with brain fog actually in the week before Desi's birthday, like to the point. Like I, every once in a while, I have like word recall issues, which my mom is the same way. And I, I, on some level, I'm like, this is just because my brain works a million.
Kyley: It's like, yeah. You know, sometimes we like the cartoon character whose feet run so fast that they like, it got, you get out from underneath yourself. Right. But, um, And so I laugh a lot about saying the wrong word, but it was getting, it was like, it kind of spooked me because there was like one point where Nick asked me a question and I had to stop [00:24:00] walking to try to find the word inside of me.
Kyley: And it was a word like shout. It was like a very simple word. And then I still said the wrong word. And I had a couple moments like that, and it spooked me and it prompted me to look at like ADHD and perimenopause and word recall is like a whole thing, it made me think about like, okay, are there some minerals and nutrients that I'm not getting enough of?
Kyley: Like there was a whole, a couple of layers of it, um, looking at how much exercise helps with that for me. Um, But I had not even considered the metaphysical side of it, which is like, yeah, I probably was doing a whole lot of traveling in my sleep on the week before my kid turned eight, my oldest turned eight.
Kyley: And, uh, maybe I was elsewhere and I couldn't. Called my energy back.
Jess: Damn. Oh, totally. That's cool. And I also find that in certain, um, portions of, of shifting a little bit, that that does happen. Your energy goes out even when you're [00:25:00] conscious, you know, I had a massive, I had a massive bout of that. I think last April where I was, I was feeling ungrounded repeatedly all day, every day for like three or four days.
Jess: And I had to sit down and tell spirit, like, there's no other option, but to keep me grounded during the day, please. And thank you. And I called all my energy back and then I was fine. Yeah. But it was like a bunch of days of that where I was like, no, there's I need more help. I need more energy. Thank you.
Kyley: Well, and this is what part of also why I wanted to ask you a little bit more about like your every day with spirit, because I think, um, these kinds of conversations, a lot of us don't necessarily have right, which is like, Oh, first of all, I think you're someone who has really lovely routine and ritual.
Kyley: You've got all that Virgo energy. I do not. I am a true creature of divine chaos. And so I always really love learning from people who have a really lovely sense of like, okay, every morning I ground every morning I do, you know? Um, and, um, and I think one of the other things that I love about you and the [00:26:00] way you work with spirit, which is similar to mine is like.
Kyley: I'm not afraid to set a boundary with spirit. Yeah. Right.
Jess: Like,
Kyley: you know, Oh, you're going to send me off into the ether to do magic in my sleep, which I, I don't remember my dreams. So I don't find out until a bunch of people message me the next day. And I get like three, I had a dream about you. Yep. Um, But I really love, you know, what you're pointing to, which is like one ritual, the ritual of grounding, the ritual of returning to your body and inviting your energy into your body in the morning, and also the importance of like, We can boss spirit around.
Kyley: Oh,
Jess: yeah. You know, and the thing is, you, it's almost like your higher self, you know, when you first wake up, you know, you put your higher self on a pedestal. They're on a pedestal. They're better than you. They're more magical than you until you kind of hit a point where you recognize They're wonderful, don't get me wrong, it's a part of you, but they're, they're living in a dimension where the frequency is [00:27:00] much, much higher, and that is also why, think about it, that is why we refer to them as our higher self.
Jess: Because they are in a higher frequency dimension, and so they can tap into more, they can feel more. But the second you take them off the pedestal and realize they are just a part of you, the communication with them gets so much easier. You know, it's really easy to put spirit or your higher self or something like that on a pedestal, and then all of a sudden it's, we're playing this game where we're afraid if we don't do this, or we're afraid to ask for something, or there's going to be a repercussion until we recognize, like.
Jess: You know, it, we are our own beings. We are our own sovereign beings and we get to decide and choose how things come through to us. That's why if you're not strong in your bound, if you're, if you're any kind of medium. And you're not strong in your boundaries, that shit gets real, really weird, really fast, you know?
Jess: And so you have to be able to say, this is what I'm willing to accept and nothing else is valid. And I also think that's how a lot of people get stuck in, uh, fear around, like, the evil eye and, you [00:28:00] know, hexes and all of these things and, you know, people are like, oh, you cannot, you can't do this, you can't do that, you can't say this, you can't say that.
Jess: If you have strong boundaries, if you have strong energetic boundaries, ain't nothing gonna fuck with you. Okay? Yes. Like things get in through the cracks. And the cracks are your lack of confidence in your B yourself and your lack of strength in your boundaries. You
Kyley: know, I yes to boundaries. And a shout out for having boundaries in your interpersonal relationships feeds into having boundaries with spirit.
Kyley: Like it's all the same frequency, right? So like be a boundary. To be a boundary person, uh, is to will automatically, I think, gives us access to deeper bounds of spirit and vice versa. And I want to return to this point you said about putting our higher self on on a pedestal, because I find this so true and has been one of the most profound things repeatedly for me is, um, well, first of all, I refer to my current self.
Kyley: What [00:29:00] higher self is like my deeper, wiser self, you know, she hangs out in the underworld too often. Higher to feel accurate, but also because that word higher for me had so much connotation around like, that's where perfect me lives. That's like higher personally signifies. and brings up all of my energy of like, well, that's the good, right, correct version of me.
Kyley: And that actually just creates more cognitive and emotional distance from actually letting myself be that self. Yeah. Um, and I do an exercise sometimes with clients, um, where we tap into like their future self, right? The, okay, the part of yourself whose business is thriving. What does she like? What is, what's, what's, what's her vibe?
Kyley: Which is very fun. But then the follow up exercise that I do is like, Okay. How did you actually make her perfect? How did you actually make her so different than who you are now that you actually just set up an impossible trap for you, um, which often blows [00:30:00] people's mind because they just were so excited and in love with her.
Kyley: And they're like, Oh, but that, like for me, my. Higher perfect self has a clean house. Y'all, I do not have a clean house until I have someone pay a lot of money to do it for me on the right. Like, that's just not going to happen, right? I don't have any Virgo in my chart, right? That shit is not going to happen.
Kyley: And, um, and, and, and I'm, but I may, I, we set up these like conditions where we're, where we're like in in admiring or like pushing ourselves away, right? Versus what that's actually telling me is like, Oh no, when I tell, okay. So for me, like one thing was like, hire herself has this, like, she's got this clean, clean house.
Kyley: What I actually want there is like, I don't clutter. I don't want clutter in my heart, in my body, in my bookshelf. Like I don't want energetic clutter. And when I was tapping into her, my brain was turning it into like, Oh yeah, and her [00:31:00] house is clean. And actually what I was really feeling is like the purest version of you, the most honest version of you.
Kyley: It's not that she's perfect. It's just that she's not full of a bunch of gunk that isn't true.
Jess: Yep. Oh my God. Yeah. Whoa. I love that actually that is yeah, that was such a I like the way that you kind of got to that conclusion there.
Kyley: Yeah. Uh, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah.
Jess: Sorry. That made me think while you were talking.
Jess: I was like, Ooh,
Kyley: I like what's your actually can I ask when you tap you tap into like hope essence, right? This like, you know, deeper, higher, wiser. Authentic God self. God self. Let's put it that way. Uh, what, what's her vibe? How is she? How is when you tap into your God self, how is she you and how are, if there are ways, does she feel dissonant or disconnected from you?[00:32:00]
Kyley: Does that question make sense?
Jess: Yes, um, it does. I actually think the word that dropped into my head when you said that was confidence, because I'm a pretty confident person, but I know that the higher version of myself lacks, has even less confidence. Uh doubt around or around anything that she does and she has even more confidence than I'm embodying and living with right now.
Jess: Um, and I think
Kyley: Yes, god is hope God is hope and moreau. Do not give a
Jess: fuck Yeah, and I can feel it and I think that's where I think that's where you and I kind of get That from period, you know, like I think, I think this expansion, there's room for even more confidence. So there's like, you know, no shadow of a doubt that like, what I'm doing is what I'm doing.
Jess: And that's that, you know, in all aspects, as to all people.
Kyley: Do you get frustrated? I sometimes get really frustrated. Like when I tap into like this God self version of myself, and I talked to her and I [00:33:00] feel her, uh, that is the, that to me feels like the biggest thing that is, is. Dissonance. She used to feel much further away from me, and more and more I can feel how much, oh yeah, yeah, we're, we are, You know, she doesn't feel as dissonant, but that is the biggest, uh, yeah, like friction almost is that she just doesn't give a fuck.
Kyley: And I get so mad sometimes, like, sometimes I get so annoyed because I can feel the illusion of, like, worry, right? I can feel how much, essentially, my suffering is just my own mind trying to get it right and be good enough and get caught in the churny stories. And, um. And I, yeah, I'm, I'm annoyed sometimes that, that, that I can't just like snap my fingers and be this more kind of no shrinking violet, right?
Kyley: Neither of us are, we're pretty frigging confident women. [00:34:00] And yet I can, I can, because I have access to my God self, I can understand that I am like, I got like a little teeny thimble of confidence compared to like what is actually available. So do you struggle with frustration around that? And if so. What do you do about it?
Jess: Yes, I do. I do struggle with frustration. That's a good question. Yeah, I know you know the answer. Because I remember a conversation that we had about this years ago, actually. Um, I remember sitting at my desk and we were doing, I don't know if I was doing a session on you or you were doing a session on me.
Jess: I can't fucking remember at this point. But I remember, Getting, I was so angry and irritated that my higher self wasn't actually showing up for me. And I was like, how much confidence you got that when I'm sitting here like trying to tap in, you know, that I can't tap in. Meanwhile, it was probably really my problem, not hers.
Jess: Um, but yeah. Everyone's like, you think? Yeah. Um, at the time, yes. Yes. A hundred percent. Um. But yes, I [00:35:00] agree. I do struggle with that as well. Um, I didn't realize I struggled with it until recently though. Like I said, I'm holding all these fucking truths at once and I didn't even, it was like somebody kind of, you know, I shifted a little bit.
Jess: Somebody lifted a veil on something or, you know, part of my subconscious was unveiled and I was like, There is more room for confidence here than I know. Because the confidence comes from her to begin with, you know, and so, because embodying. We have that inside of us the entire time. It's really what we're willing to choose to allow through, you know, and so the frustration does actually, it kind of turns into frustration with myself, almost more than her, if that makes sense.
Jess: Because I'm, I'm the only thing holding me back. This is a story I'm creating, you know,
Kyley: Yes. Well, it's interesting. I'm also laughing because, uh, in this, the last episode that I had with, uh, with another friend while Eva's on hiatus, um, we also talked a lot about confidence. And so I'm like, Oh, is this unintentionally the confidence [00:36:00] and maybe it is.
Kyley: Um, but I, I think what is interesting, one of the things I think about with, with confidence and specifically, uh, I think about this intersection between confidence, vulnerability, and power. And I think when I want access to, like, You know, my Marope goddess self and how much she doesn't give a fuck.
Kyley: There's something it's because they're not giving a fuck, which is the feels like the confidence gives her access to greater gives me access to like much more power, both in terms of magic, in terms of creating and what people call manifesting, in terms of just like having fun and being in the pleasure of my life.
Kyley: And that hour is actually tremendously vulnerable because the The access to it and the expression of it is our unmasked authentic self, right? It's to, it's to become our, you know, [00:37:00] increasingly true versions of ourselves. It's to let all the junk and clutter and stories and mindset pieces burn away. And yeah, so I just think about how like vulnerability and power are intimately interwoven.
Kyley: And sometimes I get really mad because I can feel like. You know, I don't know. Maybe I want a new client, right? Or maybe I want my audience to grow. Or maybe I want this podcast to have like five times as many listeners. And at this stage, I can feel in my body where the resistance lives. Like I can feel that that's a me problem, right?
Kyley: I can feel where that is just me holding me back, which has been when I get really annoyed about it. Um, but, but I've been watching lately how much it's vulnerable. It's because it's vulnerable. Yeah, no, it is, uh, to, to be your, [00:38:00]
Jess: yeah. Authentic self. It's vulnerability has shown up in my life in the last year in ways that I Can I don't think I ever, um, expected,
Kyley: you know, I'm a
Jess: cancer.
Jess: So, you know, you were just going to say you got that
Kyley: hard external shell.
Jess: Yeah, right. Like I
Kyley: also side note, sorry, I want to hear you say, but I should just add you single handedly have saved the, uh, cancer, uh, astrology sign for me because Liz was also a cancer. I would just have the stories that like, well, cancers are too sensitive and then they get mad and they cut you out forever.
Kyley: Oh. Yeah, no. Some of them do, but you know, every time I get salty about a cancer meme, I'm like, oh, but hope's a cancer. It's fine. Hope is a cancer. Yeah. I mean, it's on my line
Jess: of descendant, truthfully. So, I mean, I disassociate from a lot of the cancerian things, but it's fine. Michelle is one of the things that remains no matter what, whether it's on my line of descendant or not.
Jess: Um, but the vulnerability piece, you really don't realize until you [00:39:00] How much vulnerability lends itself to power until you've experienced something that breaks you, you know, breaks you open, not breaks you, but like cracks you open and forces you to be vulnerable. And I think one of the, one of the few things that does that is an ego death.
Jess: And when we experience, you know, something that really cracks us open and the ego really kind of just has to get out of the way, you know, there's no other option, but for the ego to get out of the way. All of a sudden, this vulnerability emerges, right? And so when we start to get comfortable with being vulnerable, forget even the outside world, but being vulnerable with ourself and then subsequently, like maybe a partner or a best friend or something, you start to, there comes a point with the vulnerability where you realize that it's true power, because if you are comfortable in yourself and you're comfortable in that vulnerability, nothing's going to take you down.
Jess: Anybody can say anything to you and you can say, you know what? That's cool. I'm good with me. Like, you're [00:40:00] vulnerable to the point where you're like, I I don't have to hide this part of myself anymore. There's a power that comes with not having to hide, you know, and that is what vulnerability, vulnerability is not weakness.
Jess: Vulnerability is a fucking strength. And if you're able to walk out into the world and show yourself, not all of yourself, but parts of yourself involved, you know, in these vulnerable ways and not give a fuck and be like, you know what? This is who I am. There's nothing left to make me doubt myself. It is what it is.
Jess: This is me. You know, there is such a power that comes with that vulnerability because it means you're unstoppable.
Kyley: And to bring it back to what you were talking about at the top of the show, I think there's also an important piece here that that I don't give a fuck that I'm unstoppable actually comes from acknowledging that there's a party who doesn't want to play piano.
Kyley: Right. At the exact same time that you are like, I'm like exquisite goddess walking the earth, who's got shit to do. And like, it's time to go fuck shit [00:41:00] up. And there was a part of me that has no interest in doing that. I would like to stay small and contained and like, you know, in a little shell and, um, and ironically it's like that and just allowing that to be true.
Kyley: It's like, and we're doing it, you know, we're scared and we're doing it anyway. Um, feels. Yeah, like that's
Jess: the That's, I think that actually, it's funny. You're tying it back to the beginning of the show. Cause I, when you were, I thought you were going to tie it back to my routine throughout the day with spirit, because there's a massive vulnerability, I think, in that.
Jess: And it comes and there's a decent portion of like, Confidence that it takes. Ooh, can you say more about this? This is juicy. So when I move through the day, right. When I choose to involve my husband, um, Who is also deeply spiritual himself. But when I choose to involve, he wasn't always as open about it, but when I choose to involve my husband, my [00:42:00] children, when I choose to share on social media or be on the pickup line at school, you know, and share my day, it's hard to, you know, I'm not going to not share my day.
Jess: What did I do today? Yeah, I fucking journeyed. I don't know. I was in the underworld. I was talking to Hades today, you know, so it takes a certain level of. Confidence and vulnerability to be able to infuse magic throughout the day because we don't, you know, here anyway, we don't live in a world where it's normalized, you know, all the time.
Jess: It's, I think it's becoming more normal, but it's not normalized, you know, to Ricky, the chicken you're cooking for dinner, you know, it's not normal, uh, to stand at the kitchen sink and get most of your downloads or, you know, be peeing and get most of your downloads. Um, Yeah, it's not spirit
Kyley: loves to come chat with me in the shower.
Kyley: Yeah, same, same.
Jess: Always bathroom. I think water source. Honestly, I think the water brings us closer. Yeah, spirit. But, um, yeah, it's, it's, I think there's a, there's a certain level of confidence that it takes for [00:43:00] me to say, you know what, I am going to share this with my kids. And I get that question a lot with the kids.
Jess: Because people will say, are you, how are you, are you comfortable? That's great that you're comfortable letting your kids sage with you. Or that you're comfortable letting your kids clear the house with you. Or, um, you're comfortable talking to them about the underworld. You know, or whatever. And I think, you know, Yes, it takes confidence and power, but my question usually is like, well, do you take your kids to church?
Jess: Are you confident in that? Are you confident to take your kids to temple? You know, where are you confident taking your kids to your, you know, to your religious institution? And the answer is yes. And so if I am to truly move through my life as myself and who I am with my own beliefs, there is no choice but to be confident in bringing my children with me and also giving them the choice.
Jess: You know, there's a lot of Yes, there's a confidence
Jess: When you're living in some kind of fear [00:44:00] or worry that, you know, maybe they're not gonna make the quote unquote right choice, you don't give them the choice. You're telling them this is the way it is. This is my belief. And so it is your belief, right? Ava, you know, it's obvious, pretty obvious that I'm, you know, mommy's a witch, right?
Jess: And so growing up it was very known mommy's a witch, you know? Yeah. And there was a period of time where Ava was like, I don't want to be a witch. And I was like, we don't have to be.
Kyley: Oh, Bernie and I have had this same conversation. Yes. Yes. Also, side note, once, years ago, when I was talking to my kids about being a witch, Desi goes, Oh, is that why you're always sweeping?
Kyley: Oh, I love that story. I was like, no kid, that's because you throw your food on the floor all the time. And we don't have a dog. That's really funny. Birdie also went through a whole thing where she was like, I don't want to be a witch. And I was like, you don't, you don't have to be. And like, you know, this is, um, it's interesting.
Kyley: I have been, it took me kind of in some ways, I think longer to be able to really [00:45:00] share with my kids. in part because I wasn't sure how to because it's so internal, right? I don't have a ton of ritual like I don't necessarily sage or do candle magic or like I do candle magic more now because it's like really fun way to involve my kids in the process.
Kyley: Um, but I do sometimes, um, I started in the last year singing more. I do a lot more magic where I will just like kind of chant and sing. Um, and so sometimes when my kids are like feeling afraid of the dark in the room, I'll be like, okay, well I'll like cast some energy. Right. And then I, I love doing that because it feels to me like a way of, um, the thing that I love about my spiritual practice, perhaps above everything else, uh, is how empowering it is.
Kyley: Right. The more, the deeper I go into my own spirituality and into access to power and magic is constantly an unhooking from like victim self, right? It's like, I am powerful. I [00:46:00] don't, I don't need to be trapped by my fear. So I will like do kind of magic with them to like, you know, mask protection, safety around their room.
Kyley: Um, and, uh, and I will do it sometimes by like singing or, you know, telling them a story about the dragon that's coming or whatever. And one time. I was doing it for Birdie with singing and I'm like having this moment of like, this is so cool. I'm like giving my kids access to this great magic, blah, blah, blah.
Kyley: And then the next time Birdie was scared and I was like, well, do I'm going to do some magic? And she was like, yeah, but not the singing kind that went on for too long. Oh
Jess: my God. Kids will humble you, huh? Real fast.
Kyley: For sure. So fast. Yeah.
Jess: Yeah. That made me think of a, um, a funny, funny story, but it's, it's kind of powerful and impactful, especially if you have really, really young kids at home and you're not sure how to start this.
Jess: Do you mind if I hit it? [00:47:00] Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Um, When you're talking about like, yes, cause your practices are very internal, you know, and, and that's how you speak spirit and that, you know, how did it get the kids involved? Wow. That was 17 words jumbled together. That was brain. You know, anyway, how do you get the kids involved kind of thing?
Jess: And I think I have a hard time not living out loud if it's not obvious. Um, but
Jess: anyway, um, yeah. You know, I, like, have a hard time not being myself, and so when Ava was growing up, I, I think what, part of it was I naturally moved towards doing things for her that I would want done for myself. Um, you know, like my mom regularly now, that we're, all of my family, I'm very lucky that my, my mother and my father are both very awake.
Jess: My mom now will text me in the morning and say, I dreamt of you all night, I'm sending you energy right now. You know, so I'm, like, my inner child is very soothed by the things that, you know, my mother does for me now. Um, energetically. Ooh, I got all emotional. Well, [00:48:00] yeah, but I, it's true. Um, and so I started doing things like that with Ava.
Jess: Uh, so like if she didn't want, she's very, she's Capricorn with a Cancer moon and Taurus rising. So she's very like cozy vibes, wants to stick to me like glue. Doesn't, you know, she wouldn't, if she didn't have to go to school and she could stay here with me, she would, um, kind of thing, which is weird. She's social, but also, you know, she needs me.
Jess: And so we started this practice with like, with, um, A necklace, sorry, with her Persephone necklace. And I would put energy in it. Like, obviously Perseph is there too. We finally referred to Persephone as Perseph in my house because she's present so often. Um, and so Ava wears her Persephone necklace every day.
Jess: And so I, I hold it and I put energy in it. And there was one day that I was rushing. I was like getting everything ready. And she was like, can you put more energy in my necklace? And I was like, yeah, sure. And I was like, okay. And she was like, it's not full. And she was right. It wasn't full. Like, you know, I gave her energy and I moved on.
Jess: I wasn't like hardcore [00:49:00] thinking. She was like, it's not full. And I was like, Oh my God, you're right. I'm so sorry. She like, but she felt it, you know? And so I think because she grew up with mommy doing these things, she naturally tapped into energy. And so she, it's weird. It's like when your friend confirms something for you, like you're sitting there or you're meditating, you both saw the same thing.
Jess: She naturally does that kind of stuff because she grew up with it. And I think it's because, yeah, because I live out loud. There's, it's very hard to not, you know, involve the kids in my mindset around this stuff. And that's also why Ava knows this stuff. It's about, you know, Gabe does too, but Gabe's also a little bit younger, like, you know, he's four.
Jess: Yeah. But, um, you know, we do infuse it in, into their lives in different ways, but I would always say to Ava, when she got old enough, what does your gut say? Basically, it's like, what does your intuition say? What's that feeling in your belly? You know? And so I think that's how we did it. So for any of the parents that are listening that are, you know, have these young kids and you're like, how do I do this?
Jess: They're babies. Throw some crystals in a basket and go sit in the [00:50:00] backyard and, you know, have them make a pattern with them. You know, like I used to take Ava on a hike, but we would also bring our crystals, and we would also bring a little tiny wooden crystal grid. Do it on a rock, you don't even need anything.
Jess: Just bring some crystals and put them on a rock, you know? Or at the end of, oh, one of my favorites. When the kids start to go to like preschool and stuff, you notice their energy is different when they come home. Obviously they're overtired and all the normal human things. But I started to notice when Ava would hang out with certain friends, That her energy was different, the way she acted was different, and it's not just her picking up on their, you know, their cues or mimicking, she, she, Jen, Jen actually was vibrationally different.
Jess: And I'm not going to tell name names or anything, um, but one of Ava's best friends, her mother's also one of my best friends, and there was a period of time with school where we noticed that they both were vibrating the same way, if that makes sense, around a very specific group of people. And so one day after school, I said, you know what?
Jess: Come [00:51:00] over. We're going to egg cleanse these kids. And then we did the egg cleanse on the kids, which they knew, you know, they know what it was because we've done it. And then we egg cleansed ourselves, too. And we dropped the eggs in the water, we did the whole thing. The girls eggs looked exactly the same.
Jess: They had the same web, web, um, pattern. floating through their, their, their white, the white of the egg. And we, and, you know, my, um, well, it's so hard not to name names, but my best friend and I also did it, and ours looked, you know, we had other things going on, whatever. The girls eggs were the fucking same, and that's how you know that shit is real.
Jess: But we did it with the girls, and then, I swear to God, they were like, we feel so much better, and they, like, ran off and played and weren't screaming anymore, and it's, like, absolutely insane, and I think that also goes to show how the belief in it
Kyley: And I think it's going also back to the vulnerability piece, but I'm also thinking about is how these kind of small rituals that are infused in your daily life, which I think is one of as much as I could [00:52:00] just think one of the many things that you do really well that I absorb and learn from it is also a vulnerable thing.
Kyley: Like to do, to do magic, to do ritual, um, to do energy work. All of these are actually really vulnerable things because, you know, you're like, okay, I'm going to call. I'm going to, you know, like a client session, right? Where you're like, okay, well, I'm going to channel magic and I'm going to change your energy.
Kyley: Interior experience of this persistent pattern and pain and you are going to walk out different and and part of that is a trust muscle, right? It's like I've done it enough times that I know if you come to me and And you're willing, you're not completely overly attached to, you know, victim and same, which that's not to shit talk people.
Kyley: Like we are all attached to victim, right? But it's like, how willing are you to let change happen? Um, it'll change you. [00:53:00] Uh, and also it's like a really vulnerable thing to just be like, yeah, I'm going to just, I'm just magic. You can't touch it. You can't see it. You can't, you can feel it if you're paying attention and it's going to everything.
Kyley: Um, and, and I'm, I'm just thinking about how much Actually, I think something's like showing up for me right now that. Perhaps one of the, some of the ways in which I've only dabbled in, like, really bringing ritual and even more of this into my kids lives is actually perhaps because of the vulnerability of it that's, like, asking people, how do I put this into words?
Kyley: I'm, like, feeling something shift internally as we're talking, so I'm trying to, like, find the words for it. But, um,
Kyley: there's something interesting about magic. That's like, I'm going to rake you my chicken before I cook it. And then it's going to be different. And that I think is, is a very, actually a very vulnerable. Thing to do it. I'm going to do a money [00:54:00] spell and then I'm going to wait for money to be different I'm gonna I'm gonna watch money be different and I think one of the ways in which We engage with ritual and magic is like fucking terrifying right because you're asking spirit to Respond to this thing that you've set in motion and I don't have a question.
Kyley: I'm just gonna stop talking and let you talk.
Jess: No, I agree. I think there's, there's a ton of vulnerability that comes with that, because it's actually placing power outside of yourself. If you think about it for a second, if you, you know, you see you, you're like, let's say you're asking for something because everything's co creation with spirit, right?
Jess: So if I'm raking the chicken, yes, I'm raking the chicken, but I'm also allowing spirit through me to give that energy to the chicken, you know? And so there's a really big vulnerability there, especially if you're showing your children that, you know, you show your kids. [00:55:00] If I say to Ava, we're going to do time distance Reiki before school and you are going to feel better today.
Jess: The day is going to feel faster. There's an intense vulnerability there because I'm also, from a parent, Perspective, you're setting yourself up here, you know, like, and you are trusting that spirit is going to get that kid through the day and the kid is going to feel it and that they're not going to come home and be like, that wasn't real.
Jess: You know what I mean? Like there's has to be, there's this like blind trust in spirit. That the Reiki is going to work, you know, and
Kyley: yes, without control, right? So it's this, it's, it's, it's faith, but it's not control because if we are like, uh, okay, I'm going to, I'm thinking of this time that last year. This year my kids take the bus, but last year I used to drive Desi to school and we were always late.
Kyley: Um, and um, like ADHD mom plus ADHD kid being on time to school was not our strong suit. And there was one day in particular that I was just like, Oh my God, you've been late every day this week. And so we were [00:56:00] like, you know what we're going to do? My son loves Loki. Um, and, and Thor, um, I think listeners know, hope.
Kyley: Yeah. He spends a lot of time in my house. Um, and, um, and Ganesh is just also great. And my kids love Ganesh because we leave him candies on the altar. And so they can just go and eat the candy. And I'm always like, did you ask Ganesh? If he eating his candy? Yes. Yes, he did. The other day he goes, sorry, this is a sidebar from there.
Kyley: I love it. I want to hear it's funny. He goes. And he goes, he said as long as I left him some of the red ones. Oh, all right. I love it. Later, I have a friend who grew up, uh, Hindu and she was like, Oh yeah, no, my mom confirms all the time. Ganesh prefers the red candy.
Jess: That's hysterical. Oh my God. Just really
Kyley: funny.
Kyley: And, and it was, it was a moment of like, There's something about conversing with spirit that also is [00:57:00] vulnerable, uh, and also is trust, and also is play, right? So this is something, I guess I'm just going on a detour, but there's, um, there's something about, Probably the thing that I do most of all, more than ritual, is just chit chat with spirit and that's actually something that I have, that I include my kids in, in the sense that I will just like share silly jokes.
Kyley: That's why they love Loki is because I will just share silly jokes about like when the speaker all of a sudden out of nowhere turns the volume to fucking a thousand. I will be like, okay, look, we heard the joke. Thank you very much. Can we turn the volume back down? Right? Um, but, uh, There's something playful and like in that moment where Desi said, yeah, Ganesh said, it's fine.
Kyley: I just, as long as I leave the red ones, there was a part of me that was like, I could be like, you're just making that up. Right. I could, I could have said like, no, no, no, you have to leave. I mean, Ganesh, if you, anyone listening doesn't work with him or doesn't work with Deity in [00:58:00] particular, like, it's like his whole vibe is just like laughing all the time.
Kyley: So this feels very on brand that he would be like, yeah, everyone needs a candy. Right. Um, but, um, But there was to me something in that moment also like really being delighted to affirm for him that he was having it. It's like the, the ask is, did you connect right in the same way that when they want to climb trees, I will say like, did you ask the tree if it wants to be climbed?
Kyley: Right? But then also affirming for them the because there's something so there it does ask play of us in order to I think really converse the spirit and so the practice of like affirming for them anyway to go back to the, the, the running late story. There was one name because I was like, I do not want to be late.
Kyley: And I was like, you know what? I know that time is not real. So I was like, you know what, Loki? Master of Chaos, Ganesh, Remover of Obstacles, we would like to be to school on time. Thank you very much. And I was like, Desi, just like, whore in, and I was basically invited him to do magic with me about getting to school on time, [00:59:00] but I think part of Part of, for me, the practice of, like, playing with the magic with my kids is, um, not being overly attached to the outcome, right?
Kyley: Like, if we'd arrived late, I wasn't gonna be like, Well, Loki and Ganesh aren't real, right? So, um, and so there was something really fun about, like, Let's just do it, Deadsit. Let's just, like, call it in. I want you to imagine in your heart, and I was like, kind of, Pocking him through the process, but we were like laughing about the whole thing and sure enough that always six and a half minute drive took three minutes, right?
Kyley: Like we actually really did bend space and time And that was and also that was hilarious. And then that was its own Reaffirmation for Desi who is his own creature of chaos of like, oh, yeah magic is real. And also this is really fun
Jess: Yeah, it's funny. You bring up the kids like like a farming things for them So, which is a story I would have told you, Maropa, anyway, whether it was on the podcast or not.
Jess: Last week, I was in the kitchen, and um, Ava walked up to me and she said, You know, Mommy, uh, I think Kitty's [01:00:00] following me around. This is a cat, our cat that died when she, when Ava, Ava's now eight years old. She turned eight yesterday. Um, I think she was probably like, I don't know. three when this cat died.
Jess: And so, and she remembers this cat, you know, like the kitty hated everybody except for Ava. And I swear to God, like people were like, Oh my God, you're letting her hold the cat like that. And I was like, yeah, she talks to the, like, the cat's not going to hurt her, you know? Yeah. Oh
Kyley: yeah. It's the one person she actually, yeah.
Jess: Like never. Um, and so, yeah, she said, I think kitty's. I think, I think I see Kitty following me around. And I said, are you being, are we, are we being funny? Are we being, like, are you missing Kitty? Or are you really, are you seeing her ghost? And she was like, no, I think she's following me around. I see her, I see her spirit.
Jess: I see her ghost. And I was like, oh my god. I was like, that's so cool. Like, what is she doing? She was like, I don't know, she's just following me. And I was like, that's awesome, babe. I was like, trust it. You know, and that was it. And she was like, oh, okay. And like, skipped away. You know? I loved Kitty. I loved that she came up to me and told me that, you know, Kitty was following her and that she, like, trusted [01:01:00] herself enough, you know?
Jess: Because, I mean, I do talk about spirits and ghosts all the time in my house because they do come around. Um, and I don't hide that from my kids at all. But yeah, she just, like, wanted to tell me that, you know, the ghost of our cat was walking around with her. And it was, like, the coolest thing ever.
Kyley: That
Jess: I got to be like, yeah.
Kyley: Okay, this is a This just popped into my head. Um, I love this story. I love the sharing of this. And you know, I've been thinking a lot. We haven't actually chatted about this offline, but I've been thinking a lot about which wound during the, uh, during the past week in particular, I was getting a ton of like visions about, um, So I'll just share more of the full story for listeners.
Kyley: So as of the time of recording, the LA fires were last weekend. It hit me really, really hard. I don't, I don't live anywhere near LA. Um, everybody that I know there, um, is safe. And, and I was, Emotionally down for the count for two days, like couch. Um, and, um, [01:02:00] and when I was kind of asking, so I connected to spirit and sort of like, can you show me, I mean, one, this is just hard and sad because we live in a sad world, right.
Kyley: Something just popped into my head that tangentially feels related, um, which is about the witch wound. So as a time of recording this last week was the LA fires and I'm just going to share a story that, um, is coming up. So one on the morning.
Kyley: I got hit with the most intense wave of anxiety. It was like really, really intense and I hadn't yet connected it to the fires. Um, it was, it was just a really intense experience of anxiety and I don't. I don't get that particular emotion that intensely that often. And so I was like, what is going on? And so I, you know, asked spirit to kind of help me understand what was happening and like, why I was feeling this so deeply and what was [01:03:00] interesting was how I immediately started seeing images of, of, of fires.
Kyley: And so then I was like, okay, well, there's some, there's some connection here, but in particular, I got shown this image over and over and over again of, um, It was this very chaotic vision, um, where it was like all like the vision kept shifting often when I have have like visions that are a little more linear, like narratively linear, but this was one of those more like mushroomy kind of things where like everything kept shifting and changing or like dreamscape.
Kyley: And so it was being inside the storm, inside this fire. And I was the woman, I was a woman being burned at the stake as a, as a witch. And then I was the woman watching. And then, and then I was the fires themselves. And then I was the, and then I was like the fires in LA. And then I was the fires in people know
Jess: you finished and then just like, okay, you finished, [01:04:00]
Kyley: sorry.
Kyley: Um, And it was very, it was, it was, it was very, uh, intense and, um, and, Anyway, eventually the image like settled and it was like every time I would tune into this, it was just like, kept changing. I was the wind. I was the fire. I was the woman. I was the woman watching. And then finally where it settled as like the place that most strongly needed my attention was being the woman watching.
Kyley: And it was this feeling of essentially, and it felt very connected to an actual like, tangible. It was also like, this is a past life. And also these are all of the past lives. And also your, everybody, everybody, like these are, these fires are you, the woman who burned like all of, it was, it was also a message about how, like, we're going to show you one of your past lives.
Kyley: And also they're all you, right. Um, but in particular, what I really, what, what, what asked for the most attention was being the woman [01:05:00] essentially watching her friend. Burn at the stake for being a witch and it was this feeling of like this Rageful like this like desire to just scream and save her friend this like Rage, anger, yelling, save her friend, power, rising up, and then the smoke like filling her throat and this feeling of like, you know, almost like, um, well actually to go back to the beginning that one foot on the brake, one foot on the gas, right?
Kyley: Energy of like this desire to, to go up and out and say something to save somebody that I love. And then also this experience of like, Kind of suffocation and not being able to speak, which also feels connected to this moment in time in which I am just one small woman who's watching the world around her burn and like, what, what can I do to save the mothers in Palestine and the families in LA and, um, [01:06:00] It was very powerful.
Kyley: It's, in some ways, I think it's still revealing things to me. And I want to hear what pinged for you, but I specifically just want to mention one of the reasons that I brought it up is because it also made me think about how part of the message of what that self was feeling is, um, your power can't save you.
Kyley: Right. It was this moment in time, which I think, especially if you come from European ancestry and you're a magical woman, like this is your ancestry, right? This is in your DNA is watching, watching your friends die because they were too powerful or not normative. Um, and, um, if not being the one who died.
Kyley: And I think the thing that I felt. In that past life is like your power can't save you and here we are talking about the vulnerability of power and trusting our power and being magical and being confident. Um, and the vulnerability of sharing all that with our [01:07:00] kids. Right. And I just, um, yeah, I'm glad you brought that shoot go.
Jess: Well, one, we did not. You're right. We did not talk about this offline. I had an experience last week. That I did not put two and two together until you spoke about this just now. Holy shit. Marope. This is more like a friend moment, I think, even than a podcast. But we're going to leave it here. We're going to, we're going to put it here for you guys.
Jess: I was driving. Okay. So, you know how my, let me backtrack. I'm going to try and be succinct and like, you know, thorough about this. A real
Kyley: strength, a real strong suit of arse.
Jess: Yeah, it's not mine, but let's, I'm going to try. So, you know how my books, the book that I'm, books that I'm currently reading usually They're usually, um, totally guided by spirit, and there's like, random, very specific things that pop up for what I'm moving through at the exact moment, right?
Jess: So, I had been reading a book about healers being burned, right? Being purged, like, from, like, the earth. And, um, you know, obviously, like, I've had my own witch wound moments, shamanic [01:08:00] apprenticeship. But I, I had been reading this book like the week before last, I got to that point in the book, and then last week, you know, obviously it was the California fires, and I was driving.
Jess: And I had this weird vision, and I kind of just let it happen. I was like, I don't know what this is. I don't think this is, I don't know what this is, but let's just let it, let's just let it go, you know? Because a lot of times I'm driving, and the visions come through that way too. Or realizations, whatever.
Jess: So I'm driving, and I got this anxiety in my throat. It's like tightening in my chest. And I saw, I had this vision of like being hunted in my own home with my family, having my, you know, my children, my husband home and like the quote unquote authorities like coming for me and like setting up a stake in burning me outside of my house, you know, and I had this vision of like myself saying to my husband, like, Take the children and run and hide Ava.
Jess: [01:09:00] Hide her.
Kyley: Did it feel like it was a past life or was this like some?
Jess: It felt weird. It was like, I don't know if it felt like, it was like this weird intrinsic, like it was a past life and it wasn't, maybe it was another dimension. I don't know. Um, I, I was, I, I, I didn't know what to do with it, Merle. I actually wasn't quite sure what to do with it because I saw it really clearly.
Jess: And the feeling of like, hide my daughter. Hide her. Because she has it. She has this magic. You know, and she can't be snuffed out. I'll go. So she can stay.
Kyley: I have tears and chills. Yeah.
Jess: And I, I was in the car and I was like, oof. Why am I like, you know, I'm like, I'm really emotional over this thing that, you know, doesn't happen.
Jess: And of course, there's this vulnerability and fear that comes with sharing your beliefs and then your children being punished for it. Um, you know, or you're different and the way you conduct yourself is different. And so your children are going to take the fall for that or they're going to go to school and say, Oh yeah, you know, I talked to Persephone this morning and the kids are going to say, okay, well, [01:10:00] There's one, you know, there's only one God, you know, and I mean, you'll get backlash for that But it's you know, it's hard send it down to the world like that.
Jess: But yeah, I don't know where this vision I would it was weird that it was last week and you had that same fire and fuck man. Yeah Conclusion to this but
Kyley: I mean I have something that's coming in which is You know, I think a lot of us who are tapped into energetics and energy, you know, feel strongly that there's this collective rise of what people call the divine feminine listeners.
Kyley: No, I have some baggage with the words divine feminine, but that's neither here or there for this particular moment. But there is certainly a huge research, like a huge surge of, of, of embodied. Magic, right? And, and the power, you know, I see this vision all of the time when I tap in about climate change.
Kyley: It's this vision of like people with their hands in the earth and I've showed them the podcast before, but it's this, it's this, this message that comes in over and over again. That's [01:11:00] like, you don't know. What you don't know and you don't actually understand what you're capable of and the healing that needs to happen is bigger than you can imagine, but also so are you.
Kyley: And, and I feel increasingly, I have felt it. I felt it when the pandemic started. I felt it, um, during, uh, when Roe v. Wade was overturned. I felt it when Trump was reelected. I felt it during the L. A. fires. It's these moments of like, This like call in energy. It's like spirits, like, like, yeah. This is what like, like tag, you're it like, yeah,
Jess: it felt it when Trump was reelected to actually like it was massive that yeah, like, okay, here we are now go, you know,
Kyley: I mean, I, I, the, the day after Trump was reelected, I actually, I actually was so out of body that I lay, I had to lay on the ground in the dark, pressing my hands into the earth, asked another [01:12:00] good friend of mine, who's an energy worker to be like, please ground me because I, and I had to tell myself over and over again, my body is a safe place to be.
Kyley: My body is a safe place to be. Well, my friend later told me that they literally were like burying me in dirt energetically because I was so out of body. Um, but it, it felt like, um, it felt like last week was this yet another resurgence of like, the, the, the earth is burning because it's, Angry and also, um, which is in some ways an oversimplification, but, um, and it's our job to change things and it's gonna be our children's job to change them even more.
Kyley: Yeah,
Jess: right. Yeah, there's, I can feel it. 100 percent that. The way that the kids are, their mindset, and their mindset, not only their mindset, but their, the way that they think, period, is going to change the world, a hundred percent, and, you know, we're going to [01:13:00] do what we can do, and, you know, we are here at this time for a reason, but our kids are really here for a fucking reason, you know?
Kyley: And, and uh, that was a big part of my grief. And continues to be about the L. A. fires is like this world that they're inheriting is fucked up. Oh, yeah, right. Like, like it's mother. Yeah. John, too. My husband,
Jess: we talk about this all the time.
Kyley: It feels again, vulnerable. It feels really vulnerable and really scary.
Kyley: And I think a lot about how the best armor that I can give my kids is for them to, you know, know as deeply as possible inside their, the bones of their body, that they are loved and that they are worthy of love. And I think the other piece we're talking about here is if my children can understand that they have access to magic and a power that is greater than themselves, they have access to alter the currents of their life and be part of [01:14:00] whatever the fuck it is that's required of us to turn the ship around.
Kyley: And it's based on the vision you had. And I had. Is perhaps also grappling with the vulnerability that that also invites for our kids to be that vulnerably powerful being in the world.
Jess: I agree. That just brought up a thought, um, a conversation I had with Ava about, um, you know, so we're leaving this to them and that's kind of frightening, you know, but I also, one of the things I feel is really important is to instill in them the fact that things get to change that.
Jess: So Ava came to me and she said, Why can't, why can't I move that, like, book across the room from here? You know, right? Like, telekinesis. Yeah, obviously. I mean, let's be real. Like, I, that's like the kids growing up watching Matilda. Yeah. Oh, yeah. For sure. I try to switch on myself at least, you know, twice a day.
Jess: But, um, you know, she said, she said, why [01:15:00] can't I do it if magic is real? And I was like, oh, all right. I was like, well, here's the thing. People can say it, because her teacher, they had it, they also did like a fantasy fiction versus, um, a real, what is wrong with me? Why can't I think of the word? Fiction, fake?
Kyley: Non fiction?
Jess: Not Jesus.
Kyley: Yes.
Jess: Very complicated one. Oh my god. Leave it to me. Fiction versus non fiction and fairy tales and stuff and you know, the magic in those stories are real or not real. And my daughter, she lives in a world where magic is real. You know, in my home where we're doing spells and you know, it's the full moon today so we'll probably set an intention and whatever.
Jess: So she was like, but why can't I? And why are people saying that magic's not real? And I said, well, first of all, magic is subjective, you know, people, magic is different to different people. I see my energy work as magic. The energy I send you that makes you feel better, that's magic. And then I literally explained dimensional shit to her.
Jess: I was like, we're living in a dimension where, at [01:16:00] this time, you probably can't snap your fingers and have the book fly to you from across the room. That's not to say in 20 years, it's not the case. Because my, my intention was like, do not shut this fucking thing off in her. Do not shut it off because I do believe in the future that we are gonna be able to do things that we can't do now.
Jess: You know, the stuff that we do now that they could never have imagined us doing 50, 60 years ago. And so I do think that we get to progress and we get to change and you know that I think other parents would be like, holy crap, you know, hearing me talk about it. But I think a big thing is to not turn off the magic for the kids.
Jess: Because you don't know what the fuck they're going to be capable of. You don't know. You don't know if they're going to pull that book across the room or be able to heal somebody, you know, in a very different way across the, you know, states or a country. You have no idea. So I think not shutting it off is massive.
Jess: That's just what I'm saying.
Kyley: Yes. To not shut it off. And also, I think it's interesting. I feel I'm, it's very curious to me to watch how each of my kids, their magic is really [01:17:00] different. Right? Yeah. Desi, I've shared this on the show a million times, but like Desi used to sleep on a pile of rocks. Like literally this kid would just like get all, you know, we had to, we instituted a one for each hand rule because he would sleep three years old, toddler bed on like seven different rocks.
Kyley: Um, I love that. Oh my God. He's such a cat worker.
Jess: That's
Kyley: earth. And also like is a kid who needs help grounding, right? Like he's really hyperactive grounding and, and grounding and being in his body is. not always super easy for him. Um, and it's interesting watching that evolve because now, for example, if he's having like a really big, like he's having a squirmy emotion, right?
Kyley: He's, he is tender and sensitive and there are emotions that I watch that are uncomfortable for him because they are so big, right? He just, he just feels them in a big way. And so he will try to squirm away. Like for a long time, he wouldn't watch movies because they basically didn't feel too much. Um, and I get it.
Kyley: And I will [01:18:00] now the constant line that I give him that I don't give birdie is, um, can you send this feeling to the earth because I watch how discomfort kind of, I can see where it's tinged with shame for him and I will just ask him. Like someone made some comment the other day about his pants at school, and he wouldn't tell me what happened, but I could feel how much there was shame.
Kyley: And so, he wouldn't talk to me about it. I was like, okay, you don't have to tell me. I was like, but can you send this to the earth? Can you just send this feeling? You don't need to hold it in your body. You can send it down into the earth. And he was like, you know. I like that. Um, and, and that's different than Birdie, like Birdie also very big feelings, like, you know, I got Pisces Moon and Pisces Sun, like they have both a very big feelings.
Kyley: She will just feel it until she's done feeling it, which is sometimes tiring in a different kind of way, right? But it's like the feeling comes in and it's just gonna be felt until it's done. And so for her, it's more about like, [01:19:00] you know, like helping her remember that she's connected and that she's like loved as she's feeling the big feeling.
Kyley: But her experience with magic is like, like that she saw a fairy when she was three years old, like, and she will tell this story at preschool. She's like, I almost stepped on her. She was small. She was white. Like she used to talk to my grandmother all the time who died nine, 11 years ago. Like she would be like, Agnes is here.
Kyley: Like that girl is just like heart fairy chatting with spirit. Even more than I am, I think, um, and so anyway, not turning it off and also really seeing my kids for who they are and like, what is the, what is the metaphysical and mystical gift that they innately had when it's coming online? And then how do I foster it, especially if it is a little different than mine?
Kyley: And, uh, I don't know the answer, but it is a sure as hell interesting question. process.
Jess: No, it is. And I think this is, I don't know if this falls in the same [01:20:00] category, um, but I think, I think, I think with the young, the younger the kids are, or sorry, the like the younger born ones. So like Gabe, Gabriel is my youngest.
Jess: He's four. Um, their magic is different. Ava and Gabe, their magic is completely different. You know, Ava is a very, very, um, witchy vibes and very, but very natural, um, healing, like really, really natural healing. Like her go to is like, I'm going to put my hands on you and I'm going to give you energy because you don't feel good right now.
Jess: And I'm going to send energy to, you know, whoever I love because they need it. Um, Gabe, I think knows shit for lack of better words. Gabe, like, I think he doesn't even realize that he knows shit. Um, And, like, but he's also much, he's young, he's even younger than Ava, you know, Ava's young, but he's younger, and I think the babies are really being born, like, if you look at their, not to, like, bring astrology into it, but I do study that as well, so I'm going to for about a split second.
Jess: Um, if you look at the natal charts of the kids that are being born now, [01:21:00] you know, versus ten years ago, they're coming in with a lot less karmic shit. Mmm. I mean, if you look at, like, the North Node, South Node, Saturn. Um, all those, the placements, right? And all those like, um, aspects in their, in their chart, there's less, there's less and less karmic shit for them to clear up.
Jess: It's weird. It's very, very strange. And I, I only know because obviously I study it, but I started studying the charts of like Ava's younger, her friends, younger siblings and versus them. And I was like, there's less karmic shit, you know, for these younger kids. And so Gabe. I, it was the first time that I recognized that he was tapping into past, a past life was actually like, it was kind of, like I said, freaky moment for myself because I've tapped into when Gabe was little, I had postpartum shore, but I had this innate fear that he was going to die forever, forever.
Jess: I couldn't touch him enough. Like, I feel that with all of your children, of course, but like, there was something so different with Gabe, where I was like, have we talked
Kyley: about this before? I have super, super similar. Tell your story and then I'll share mine.
Jess: Yeah. I like, [01:22:00] I couldn't touch him enough. I couldn't kiss him enough.
Jess: I was like, I just have to hold him now. Cause I might not get to hold him later. And that was like my, and I was like, Ew, what the fuck is that? You know, where's that coming from? And so I had a journey about it. Cause I was like, I can't, I can't take it anymore. Um, and so I journeyed and Gabe has, Gabe has come with me through many, many, he's been my son in lots of lifetimes.
Jess: Um, more than other family members or whatever. He's been my son. The most previ the most close closely related past life to this one that I've had with Gabe, he died when he was around nine years old. He drowned in a river. And it was, um, the French, the French, the most recent French lifetime that it has, the whole thing with it.
Jess: Um, which was fucked up because he was the first child I was able to conceive that lived in that life. And then he died very, very young. And so I had carried the, I've carried this wound around that lifetime in pregnancy and motherhood and mourned it and, you know, whatever. And so I found that out and I was like, well, that's terrifying and sad and horrible.
Jess: But now I know where that [01:23:00] comes from and it eased up a bit. You know that feeling of like, oh my god, I have to hold on to him and whatever and so we were we were driving And he was like, yeah that time I was nine and I got dead and I was like Shut the front door. I'm not i'm not shitting you. I swear to god.
Jess: This kid was like, you know that time I I got dead. I was like nine or something. I was like What? I'm sorry? And I told John, and you know, John had noticed it too, that he would talk about when he was older, like, what he mentioned, like, he was 25 and he got dead, or he was And we were like, what the We didn't shut it down, we were just like, Alright, bud!
Jess: Cool. You want some chicken nuggets, you know, like, all right, let's just move on. And so I told John and he was like, oh, look at that. You know, like John, John, so subtle. It's so, his belief is so subtle that you're like, are you being, are you fucking with me? Or you just believe that? And he's like, oh no. Yeah, I believe that a hundred percent.
Jess: You know, whatever. But he, he just taps in, I think, naturally to his past lives and he believes them, and he talks about them. [01:24:00] He, he's done stuff like that before. And then we were driving Y yesterday again, he said something and I can't even remember what it was, and John said to him, Hey, bud, was that this life or, or another life?
Jess: And he was like, I don't know and like moved on and we were, you know, he was like, blah, blah, blah, whatever and just kept going and it's so natural to him. And I'm like so grateful that I never was like, but that didn't happen, you know, because it's easy when they're like babbling in three to be like, Oh, buddy, you're alive.
Jess: You're not, you know, right. Yeah. Yeah. It was wild. But I think he knows things. He sees things and he just talks.
Kyley: So, okay. I'm going to, I'm going to just share more, uh, about five things I want to tell you. One is that Tell me all of them. Yeah. The one is that it's interesting. Birdie is like, it's just really a straight channel.
Kyley: Cause also every once in a while I'll be playing with cards and, uh, she'll come over and she'll just like, say what they mean. And then my favorite is when Nick's there because Nick very much has his [01:25:00] own, like, he's very open, but it's, but also like, it's not his journey, right? He's like, I'm, I'm, I'm the gonna make sure everyone gets fed.
Kyley: Well, you're all traveling, bringing an astral, right? Um, But he's very open to it and he, my favorite is when birdie will like pull a card and then like just like start shattering away and Nick will look at me like his eyes get so big and I'm like, and he's like, did you hear what she said? I'm like, yeah, that's your message for the day.
Kyley: So that's one of my favorite things. Um, And, and then Nick will be like, do another one, Bernie. It's very cute. And Desi is very, very, um, he feels everybody's feelings, which what's hard for him is like, like, send it to the earth, like boundaries, right? It's like, he can feel everyone's and he also wants to like heal.
Kyley: And one of the things I had to help him with is like, be that energy without taking it on. So I'm tucking in. Actually, as we're talking how I think actually he's probably old enough to do, I think I'm going to start doing some more ritual, like bound [01:26:00] energetic boundary and clearing with him, like before and after school.
Kyley: Um, so thanks for that little, uh, little nugget source. Help me remember to do that. But the, Oh, that's a good one. I have it over our doorways. That's a good one under his bed. Okay. I'm going to do that. Um, but I was obsessed. Like I was, like, Fanatic about death when I was, my postpartum experience. Like my best friend was kind of making fun of me about it the other day, like I was like so fixated and had a ton of, um, like intrusive thoughts around death and specifically about Desi dying, sometimes about me, sometimes about, um, about Nick.
Kyley: But, um, that was like one of the most painful parts of my first year of motherhood. And what I eventually saw was some of the roots of that. not all of them. It had many, there was many layers there, but some, one of the roots of that was, um, this past life in which I was a witch and, uh, well, I was a midwife and, [01:27:00] uh, I, you know, I delivered the baby of some rich bitch and the baby died.
Kyley: And so then they carted me off and I, uh, I had to leave my kids because I, you know, got carted off to, you know, be burned at the stake or what? I don't actually, I think I was hung anyway. Um, uh, It's
Jess: not funny. I don't know what the fuck. It's casual. I got hung. It's not, it wasn't burning. This is
Kyley: why everyone needs magic friends.
Kyley: So you can talk about this shit, you know, to the point of like normalizing it and like, Oh yeah, you have
Jess: to have humor and everything. Cause if you don't, you'll die.
Kyley: And also, I think one of the things I love about having like you and my other mystical magic friends is like, like, so that experience, like healing from my postpartum anxiety with Desi, it was It was therapy.
Kyley: It was like intentional movement. It was like pattern changes. It, you know, like going to yoga more, there was like very [01:28:00] material things. There were psychology things, there was trauma, like this lifetime trauma healing things. And. There was some karmic shit in the way that was making it painful and hard, and I think I am so grateful to have access to the, the, the whole spectrum instead of a tiny slice of where is this coming from and what is the relief that wants to come through.
Kyley: And sometimes, because that story I told about the. The fires and like the wanting to speak but also suffocating that energy feels very present in my life right now that energy is connected to very specific inner child things like I could touch that in a lot of different ways, but there was some. It's really powerful relief that came in and seeing it as this past life.
Kyley: Maybe it's because that felt safer than the inner child experience and it was the same energy and it got to move or maybe it's because that karmic weight was intense. But [01:29:00] I don't know. I'm just grateful to have access to like a whole spectrum of ways of being more joyful in my life.
Jess: No, I agree. I think the more we open ourselves up to that vulnerability, the more we call in, you know, the people that get us there and allow us to kind of live in a space that feels safe to be vulnerable.
Jess: You know, it's like this cyclical thing. We get more vulnerable, we get more people, we add to our team, we add to our tool belts and then we get to be even more vulnerable, you know, and it, yes,
Kyley: yes, yes, yes, yes. Um, okay. We could talk for 800 more hours. Uh, I am mindful of time. So I want to invite you to tell people how, before we go do our final round of joy, um, I would love to hear where people can find you and what they can hire you for.
Jess: Okay. So [01:30:00] you can find me in a couple of places. You can find me on Instagram. Instagram. I feel like a lot of my content, most of my content is Instagram and my handle is Jessica Bilardi. And, um, you also can find my sessions on there and stuff. Right now, what I'm really jazzed up about, uh, in terms of ways to work with me is my master your shift session.
Jess: So it's basically where you come and you kind of, you know, you're ready for change. You're ready to kind of walk through life with the confidence and, you know, feeling in your, you know, Feeling into your higher self at all times and be able to shift with life and the whole Thought process behind this session and what we dive into is shifting that mindset so that we can do the energy work and the energy Work will stick Because really if your mindset's not right the energy work is going to yeah, it's gonna do some stuff but If we don't, if we're not able to shift that mindset, then the energy work is going to kind of fall a little bit short.
Jess: So that's what we do in that session. We deep dive into shadow. We figure out where the roots of that negative mindset or lack mindset or whatever, you know, [01:31:00] it is that you're stuck in mindset lie, clear that up, do the shadow work around it, and then we dive into the energy work in that same session that is going to support that mindset shift.
Jess: Um, so you can find that. On my Instagram and my links, or you can find that on my website. That's actually called Angelina energy. So you can book with me there and all these links
Kyley: will be in the show notes people. So go run. Don't don't walk. And I want to share also, um, I'm real picky about who I let give me energy, you know, like I'm not, I'm not messing around at this point.
Kyley: And when it comes to shadow work, energy work, and like this divine embodiment piece that I think you do so beautifully. There's, there's no one else that I would trust, you know, um, so, and I say that as someone, again, like queen of shadows over here, you are, you are [01:32:00] my sister, uh, in shadow work and, um, Mindset shift in magic.
Kyley: And so if people are feeling a resonance with you, I would, I, I, I would deeply recommend that this is a person to, to trust with your transformation.
Jess: Thank you. And I love the transformation. Oh, and also the podcast. I, you can, Oh, yeah,
Kyley: yeah. Yeah. Where, what's your podcast? Tell everybody.
Jess: It's a, so my podcast is called multifaceted mama and it's everywhere.
Jess: It's on Spotify. It's on Apple podcasts, Google, wherever. Yeah.
Kyley: Go, go, go, listen, consume all, all the Jess slash hope things. Okay. So my friend, then what is something bringing you joy right now?
Jess: Large thing that's bringing me joy is, um, spending more intentional time with my husband. . We've been doing that differently lately, so that's a large thing.
Jess: And the small thing that's bringing me joy is tea. . I've been like always for me, like I've, yes, [01:33:00] I, I always love tea, but I was always more like coffee, have a little bit of tea. I'm fucking obsessed with tea. It is bringing me the most joy and I've ritualized the living shit out of it. So it doesn't matter if I have 10 cups a day or one cup a day.
Jess: It is a ritual when I have tea and it is bringing me so much joy.
Kyley: Do you know that I'm completely obsessed with tea? Do you know that about tea? I do,
Jess: I do know that about you. Sorry, just
Kyley: making sure because I, no, I know.
Jess: I knew that. I feel a lot, I feel, I feel very Maropi when I'm drinking my tea, actually.
Kyley: Very happy.
Jess: Yeah.
Kyley: Very happy. Um, I'm, I'm withholding the desire to ask you like all of your favorite kinds of teas so that I can make suggestions and like, I will, I want to hear them all
Jess: actually, but we'll talk about that.
Kyley: Um, okay, so let's see what's bringing me joy. It's kind of funny and it's, It's potentially a bittersweet thing, but, um, as of the time of recording this, TikTok might get banned in the U.
Kyley: S. a week from now, which is a huge bummer because I have over 7, 000 followers there, and my next closest platform is like 1, 100. It's like kind of a big drop off, and I really like the platform. [01:34:00] It is fun. It is, um, for me, it's a much more like authentic, messy, and interesting place than any of the other platforms.
Kyley: Yeah, Queen of Chaos loves TikTok. It's a real, it's a real, it's a real chaos vibe. And so I'm kind of sad that it might go. And also it's going to be a, like, strata, I'm going to have to rethink my whole marketing strategy. And so that will also be, uh, you know, whatever. Part of me will think that's fun.
Kyley: Part of me is annoyed by it. And I will be sad because it's, I like the platform, but the vibes on that app right now are the most delicious kind of chaos vibes. It fully feels like the last week of college. Like I, it's making me feel like the week I'd taken all my finals. And we just had a week to be seniors before graduation, and everyone's just unhinged, doesn't give a fuck, like, the real world is coming for you, but it's not here yet, and [01:35:00] people are just being ridiculous, but I personally am having so much fun because, um, I've been practicing like unmasking and saying the thing even more and so I'm just really leaning into like, what are all the things that I have a tendency to filter on?
Kyley: And my whole assignment for the week is like, it's gonna disappear. So just say everything to practice saying everything. And if we're lucky enough to keep the app, great. Cause I will have just, you know, I have like a thousand new followers. The best way everyone's following everybody. Cause it's like, it's not real anyway.
Kyley: It's going to go away. So worst case everybody follows me and I get more followers and we all have more fun. Uh, or it is gone. And also I gave myself a week to like really practice, like stop biting your tongue, say the fucking thing. So anyway, the death, the potential death of Tik TOK is, um, bringing me a strange amount of joy.
Kyley: I love [01:36:00] that. Yeah. Yeah.
Jess: And it was, that was like the most Rope. Thing ever to
Kyley: relish the death of something to relish
Jess: the day. You're like, I'm so like sad about this. And there's so much joy in that.
Jess: Oh my God. Oh, it feels good to be seen. I love it. That was, yeah. I'm so glad I witnessed that.
Kyley: Thank you. Thanks for saying. Okay. Thank you for coming on the show. I love you with my whole heart and soul. Thank you for being my sister. And, uh, I will talk to you soon. Bye everyone.