This week's listener asks a question about making a decision at a crossroad - both Kyley and Eva have danced around big changes more than once and share their advice and experience when weighing the complexities of money, safety, job transitions, entrepreneurship culture, and the often-invisible emotional terrain of taking a leap.
This week's listener asks a question about making a decision at a crossroad - both Kyley and Eva have danced around big changes more than once and share their advice and experience when weighing the complexities of money, safety, job transitions, entrepreneurship culture, and the often-invisible emotional terrain of taking a leap.
The question:
Hello Universe. I'm standing at a fork in the road and every day it feels harder to choose. I've been offered a promotion at my current job, more money and responsibility and the professional recognition.
I feel like I've always wanted. But if I'm being honest with myself, part of me feels hollow at the thought of saying yes. The other option is to finally take the leap that I've been dreaming about for years, quit my job, and start my own small business. It's exciting but terrifying. There's no guarantee of success, and I worry I might be walking away from stability just because I'm restless.
How can I tell whether my desire for change is intuition or just impatience? Signed standing at a crossroads?
What we cover in this episode:
🌿 How “hollow” feelings around an opportunity can be one of the clearest internal signals we get — and why it matters more than external logic
🔍 The real reason we convince ourselves we’re confused, even when part of us already knows the truth
💬 Why people often seek out “permission-givers,” and what that reveals about the decision they’ve already made
🔥 The myth of the linear, consequence-free leap — and how following your heart can be both right and really uncomfortable
💸 The complicated emotional world of money, safety, escape fantasies, and why entrepreneurship gets romanticized in unhelpful ways
⚖️ The difference between taking a leap that stretches you vs. taking a leap that overloads your nervous system
✨ How to discern intuition from impatience by listening for the quiet, steady pull beneath the fear
❤️ Why regret usually comes from not trying — not from trying and falling down along the way
This is a helpful listen for anyone circling a big decision, feeling both longing and dread, and wondering whether their desire for change is intuition, impatience, or something deeper calling from underneath the noise.
💫 Connect with Eva & Kyley
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Eva's instagram: @iamevaliao
Book a discovery call with Eva
Kyley's Instagram: @kyleycaldwell
Kyley's free mini-course
Kyley: [00:00:00] Hi, it's Kyley.
Eva: and it's Eva.
Kyley: Welcome back to Hello Universe.
Eva: Okay. We have another very common question that I think Kyley and I maybe have danced around a couple of times. This is for our advice column episode, and the question is, hello universe. I'm standing at a fork in the road and every day it feels harder to choose. I've been offered a promotion at my current job, more money and responsibility and the professional recognition.
I feel like I've always wanted. But if I'm being honest with myself, part of me feels hollow at the thought of saying yes. [00:01:00] The other option is to finally take the leap that I've been dreaming about for years, quit my job, and start my own small business. It's exciting but terrifying. There's no guarantee of success, and I worry I might be walking away from stability just because I'm restless.
How can I tell whether my desire for change is intuition or just impatience? Signed standing at a crossroads?
Kyley: Okay, this question, there's like so many layers for us to dive in. Um, but I think what I am struck by is the phrase hollow feeling. Hollow is a pretty big tell. Um, but ultimately what like really comes to my mind is like the center of this question is like, how, how do you know what you want? And then how do you trust.
You know what you want. And I think this, I think this listener knows what they want, but they don't know that they can trust it yet.
Eva: Or, and then is there another layer of like, how do [00:02:00] you trust that that's actually the right, right. How do, because you were saying how to trust that you know what you want, but also how do you trust that the thing you want is actually safe? Because I also, I, I feel like what they're pointing out too is also this idea of.
Like, there's no guarantee for success, and it's really scary to dive into the unknown, which is again, something that I think you and I are poised to talk about because essentially we've walked this path and
Kyley: This unknown. Yeah.
Eva: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and I have a lot of thoughts about that, but I, I, again, when I say this is a common question, I feel like this, at least for me, I don't know if you've run into this, but I, I've gotten iterations of this question many times from people who are.
Kind of like sick of what they're doing or some situation that they have. And then they're like, is, and then they, there's like greener Pratt pastures and then they're not sure if these other, if, if it's just like a grass is always greener on the other side type thing. And then they're gonna get there and realize, actually I really fucking miss the stability of my line nine to five.
Or the stability of like my old partner or the stability of this hometown that I've lived in. [00:03:00] Because I thought the pastures the other, the grass would be greener on the other side. But actually.
Kyley: I've made a terrible mistake and I can't go back.
Eva: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah,
Kyley: know what's interesting? Um, people come to me pe when people are making life decisions and they seek me out. Um, it's always 'cause they want permission to
Eva: I think, yeah. 'cause you're the permission giver, which
Kyley: Like I, and I first realized this when one of my very best friends, we were like, you know, broken in our early twenties and she came into a little bit of money, like, I mean like $400, right?
Which is like huge money. And she was like, I could do this very responsible thing, or I could buy this really great bag that was a, like a bicycle. Like it's a cool riding
Eva: Yeah. Like a bike messenger bag. Mm-hmm.
Kyley: Your back. Thank you. And it's
Eva: Oh my God. That's still like two thousands.
Kyley: oh yeah, absolutely. Living in Cambridge, Massachusetts, abso fucking
Eva: Totally. And also those bags were expending. I know I had
Kyley: Hey, we're spending.
And I was like, I literally [00:04:00] was like, well, you're asking me, so you already have your answer about what you wanna do. Like if you actually wanted to go and buy, like if you wanted to go do the responsible thing, you would've asked somebody else. You asked me because you wanted permission. 'cause you knew I would give it to, when I realized that that was my, that was my role.
I was a permission giver.
Eva: Which I love as a, as your friend, I love.
Kyley: Um. And so, so I think that's also interesting, right? For this person that they're writing to two. Which is on the internet who are self-employed, right? They're not writing to their, their, uh, financial advisor dad.
Eva: Mm. Mm-hmm.
Kyley: And so that also might be a tell like that, um, what your desire is that your true desire is, but.
I think you said something interesting. So I kind of, I was kind of scaling it as there's the moment where you're like, what do I want? I really don't know what I want. And then there's the moment where you kind of can feel what you want, but then it's like, well, can I trust this? Is this safe? Um, [00:05:00] and then you were pointing out that that what feels like another layer, which is like, can I trust, can you explain that, what you were saying a little bit more
Eva: like, can I, can I trust that maybe, I don't know. I feel like this maybe the second and third layer layer getting blended, but it's more like, can I trust that I'll be held in this making, making this decis this decision? Like, is it, yeah, can I be held by life by, will I be safe?
Kyley: Yeah, if I, if I follow my, if I follow what I actually want, will it be safe or will I get the shit kicked out of my,
Eva: Or, or will you be that person who's like, I've made a big fucking mistake and now I can't go back?
Kyley: yeah. Um. How do you know Eva? Tell us
Eva: Okay. Well,
Kyley: before we get into the specifics of like, do you quit your job or not? I am kind of curious about this moment where you're like, okay, I think I know what I want, but how do I decide that it, that I can trust it and that it's safe to trust it
Eva: Mm-hmm.[00:06:00]
Kyley: that I'll be okay trusting it.
Eva: Right. Okay. Well, before we started recording, I had said something like, the answer, as cliche as it is for me always is about like following your heart and it sounds. Again, like simple and maybe in some ways it really is, but like it is really, there is a simplicity in this and like there is, I believe at the core underneath all of the intellectual confusion and the pros and cons and the ifs and the fears.
It's a lot of like what ifs and fears and like what other people are gonna think about me and, um, all of that stuff. Underneath all of that, there is like a knowing. I think whether we, sometimes it's louder and sometimes it's quieter. I think it depends like how connected we are to ourselves, how much space and time we give ourselves to be able to feel, you know, safe in our bodies.
Then like that's why meditation is so [00:07:00] helpful for me because I oftentimes find that the knowing comes in the quiet, and I know that you've experienced that too in other ways where you just, you just like have a knowing and I think it's because we're really intelligent and I think that like we're really intelligent and our heart is actually very intelligent.
It's a listening, and we've talked about this before, like throughout the podcast, I'm sure this, this gift and this practice of listening to your intuition, your heart, your gut, and there are practices that you can do, I think to, to get there. I guess if you wanna be like really practical about it, but it's, it's like the question of like, how do you know and I, to this person, I would say like, and I would ask, or whoever's listening who, if you're also at a crossroads like.
Do, do you already know? And you're actually just confu? I, I do this a lot. I already know, but I'm confused. But then I confuse myself with all the practical stuff. Like there's already kind of a, a small whisper of like, I know I'm leaning this way, but I, I can't even hear it because [00:08:00] it's like, but the what ifs?
The what ifs. The what if, what if I fuck it up? You know, what if I disappoint people, like blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then I actually start to think that I'm confused, but I'm not actually confused.
Kyley: mm-hmm.
Eva: Does that make sense?
Kyley: Yes, yes, yes. A thousand percent. I feel like anytime I've coached somebody through, like, like friend, like Ben in front, someone's corner, when they're going through a breakup, there's all, it's the same thing, right? There's like, I don't know what to do, but it's like, no, you, you like the, the confusion is protection because once you know, you've gotta act on the knowing, right?
Eva: Yeah. It's a great way of putting it. Yes, yes, yes. And you point that out to me all the time. It's like, I love coming to you, pretend, pretending that I'm confused. I love doing that where I, when I say pretend, it's like I. I really believe that. I'm confused. And there have been many times where you're like, I kinda just based on how you're talking about, I think you already know what you need to do.
You just don't wanna do it.
Kyley: Which is like, great, what, what, what delicious protection, confusion is, right? Because then it can keep us from having to, [00:09:00] um, having to, to know and then act from the knowing. Um, but I think the thing. I think the question that I have for you, I think you and I both live very much from this place that like one of our core beliefs that we share is like, if I follow my heart, I will be okay.
And that the like best life path for me is always the one where I listen to my heart, but that doesn't mean it will look the way that I think that it will.
Eva: Mm-hmm.
Kyley: I was following my heart when I had a business partner and best friend, and it shattered my heart and like fucked up my business for a year. Uh, and also that was for me, and that was for the like big vision that I wanted and want out of life.
And like, like that wasn't a detour, that was the shortcut. Right. Um, and then I think, I think one of the things that like. [00:10:00] We have a hard time with is because we can be so like black and white and linear. It's like we want the thing we, we feel it. We feel that it's the right step to take. And then when the storms come, we take those to mean that we have made a mistake or that we're in the wrong place, or that we fucked it up and then comes in and then condemnation, self condemnation comes in and like.
Actually all that's happening is just that the storm is painful as like horrible and painful as it might be that the storm is for us in some way. And um, and, um.
Eva: mean you did it wrong, and it doesn't mean that doesn't mean that your heart betrayed you either. You know, like, so. Okay. Sorry, can I just give another example of that? Because I think it's really helpful to have examples like I, my, my partner. My ex-partner Adam, who I dated for five years, who, you know, I, I still have a lot of love for.[00:11:00]
Um, that relationship ended, you know, it was, it was, it ended and it was ended because there were parts where, you know, he was really struggling with depression and it was really heavy. And, um, and there were times where I was like, but how did I get here? How's this relationship gonna end? I thought this was gonna be it.
Especially because the start of our relationship was very much like spirit led. I feel like Spirit led us to be together. I like saw it in the meditation and I was like, this is crazy that I'm gonna be dating this. This guy who I knew, you know, he's been friends, we've been friends for so long and now like we're gonna be dating.
And I just, um, also had really built it up to be like this story that I loved of like, oh, we came together, cosmically, or whatever. But story aside. Oh yeah. And because of the story, then it had to be like this perfect relationship, right? Like in my mind it didn't make sense. If it didn't work, then I would be, then I would've been like, spirit led me the wrong way.
But actually that's just like, I can laugh at that now because I'm like, that's so silly. Spirit leads you in a direction, or your heart leads you in a direction. It doesn't mean it's supposed to [00:12:00] work out very book perfectly, the way that you think that it's supposed to. And then we make that mean, oh, well I can't trust my heart.
Kyley: Mm-hmm.
Eva: I just don't, I, I actually think all of that experience was like so good for me and also Yeah. Anyway, so good for me.
Kyley: heartbreaking and really fucking hard. Right? I, um, I am thinking about this line that comes to me often where I will have some like delicious breakthrough in life or some like state some, some, something will happen that feels like a kind of arrival, and I will just hear. It's never what you think it is because that's always, always the case, right?
It'll be like, oh, I am like, I've seen these distant shores and I have arrived and they are so much different than I thought that they would be. Um, and I think to like bring all this back to the question asker. I think why all this is important is because if we're gonna take a leap of faith and follow [00:13:00] our intuition and listen to our heart, we like you. I think we really ha do best to accept that like spirit is not linear and that like, just because it doesn't quote unquote work right away doesn't mean that you did the wrong thing. Like your heart was leading you for a reason, and if you just keep following your heart, it will keep taking care of you, but it just might not look the way. We, we, we can't, we, you can't trust your heart and take leaps of faith, but then keep a linear, narrow definition of what success looks like. That is a recipe. Disappointment.
Eva: Well said. [00:14:00] Okay. So then that being said, I mean, we hope, I hope that's helpful for, for the listeners and for them. The question asker of like, you can follow your heart.
Kyley: Mm-hmm.
Eva: And I just feel like the way that, like you said, it's, it sounds to me anyway, by the way that this question is written, that there's a preference here for this person of like, you know, if taking the, the, the raise feels like hollow.
That's not a great sign. And [00:15:00] then, you know, they sound kind of really excited about this new terrain of like opening, starting their own business. And if I were to guess, like I hear the confusion because of course stability is great. Like, you know, recognition is great or whatever, more money is great. All of that's great.
But um, it just sounds like I. Maybe your soul might be leading you more towards like the path of unknown, and I guess I'm curious, like what do you think about that Kyley?
Kyley: Well, this brings me to the next segment of this question, which is. I wanna establish for this listener, like, it seems like your heart wants you to start a business and maybe that looks like quitting your job, or maybe it doesn't. And, and that be, that we can be very black and white about. And I'm really curious, I know you have a ton of things on this say, on this [00:16:00] topic, Eva, but I think we can be really black and white again, like we.
We, our heart and our soul speaks to us, and then we translate it through our, like black and white thinking, and we think, oh, I wanna start a business. I wanna do this creative project. This is important to me. This will be fulfilling. Therefore, I gotta quit my job. I gotta put all my eggs in the basket. I gotta put all this pressure on me to make it work in three months.
And like, maybe, but maybe, maybe it's not a, maybe it's maybe not. Maybe there's a way of. Like, I love big dramatic leaps of faith for astrology people. Like I'm an Aries mood, like the bigger the better. And I also wanna like question, I wanna like poke a little bit at this idea that it has to be, that it has to be all or nothing.
Um, and I think, yeah, so I wanna, but I wanna kick that over to you because I think this is a topic you have lots of
Eva: I feel like this, like, like I said this, this veers off into the next part of this [00:17:00] question, which is very much more like business coaching in a way, because I think this is a question that. Um, people contend with a lot where they're dissatisfied at their job and they want to go do this new and exciting thing, and it's like, yeah.
I guess I think what Kyley is pointing to is that the practical side of me, and as someone who's also walked this path, now I'm torn between, like you were saying, the big leaps of faith and the like, when you put your minds to something like sometimes like miracles can happen and that. Can happen, but if we put a lot of pressure on it to happen that way and then it doesn't, then we feel like a failure.
I think that's the thing that I find to be really, really toxic because I think we live, at least from what I've seen, maybe it's just the way that my Instagram is curated, but, but it's like we see just so much dialogue out there about how like, quit your nine to [00:18:00] five and be free and like, and, and, and I think.
There are business courses out there, like not the good ones, you know, that do it in a way that totally blow out your nervous system where you're like in panic mode and you're in scarcity and you're freaking out and you're like, I have to make all this money. And it, it just isn't like, uh, yeah. Practical, safe way for a lot of people and I think.
I just wanna be so careful about being, being people, being people, being sold on like the pipe dream, while also not wanting to be cynical either. And I don't know if I like know how to hold that balance
Kyley: Yes. I think you're holding that balance really beautifully.
Eva: Okay,
Kyley: it's Because I think I really like what you're putting to that. Kind of, there's some predatory language around like, oh, buy this course and I'll give you the exact blueprints and then you can, and like that's why you can quit your job and
Eva: Or like, oh, I've made a hundred thousand, you know, it took me three months [00:19:00] to make my first whatever, a hundred K
Kyley: million $2.
Eva: Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Kyley: Um, and I also think a lot of us use, you know, I talk a lot in about how like money is a really powerful. Um, site of our projections because it does, we do everything with money. And one of the things we project, one of the things that we project onto money is escape and rescue. And so like, oh, I'm in this bad job, but like, if only I had, my business would take off if only I went viral.
If only, if only, and there was this like escapist fantasy about our relationship to money. And the, the, the issue is that that. Reinforces codependency, right? Because, because the rescue escape dynamic like is just going from the job, being the source of power to, to money through cell phone. Like money, like the power, still not, you are not the one who's [00:20:00] powerful.
You're still like, I need, I need money to rescue me. And that energy actually creates a really deep, deeply unsettled, unsafe feeling even when we have money.
Eva: Mm-hmm.
Kyley: And I say all of this because. First of all, unlearning that can be a bitch. And it's helpful. It's helpful to unlearn that if you're gonna venture into, into entrepreneurship where money is like, you know, inherently unpredictable.
Um, but also because I think the pressure. The escapism and the like. Rescue fantasy all can cause like, so much like toxic harm that just spins us up and makes us scared. And to the point of like, gets us out of that space where we're acting and choosing from our heart. Right? And like gets us into that. Like, well now my back's up against the wall.
I'm really scared. I don't have a safety net. Or my safety net has run out. And like, and, and I, [00:21:00] and I think that that like. Sometimes the quit your job, start your dream job ready, set, go. Sometimes that can ha can like reinforce that thing that I think actually burns people out and then they're up. They like, they have these beautiful, important visions, but now they're up shit creek because they bought the escapist thing and, and, and, and just to complicate, complicate it, like, mm-hmm.
My business got real once I got fired, right? Like it was going along. It was going along and the plan was to quit. But like shit got real, real fast. And I figured out how to make money real fast. But I also came in with some skills around that, right? And so, um.
Eva: so sorry. Can that, that point's also really important because I think what you're speaking to is like, ugh. I think it really depends. It's subjective. I think it depends on who we are and where we are and what we need. And it's gonna be [00:22:00] different for every single person because I think there's also a.
There's also the other character, which is the character of like, I'm just gonna stay at my job and keep, play it safe. And like, I'll do my nine to five and then I'll do my creative thing on the side for a while and seeing if I can make money. And then like, never really putting themselves into it because they have this other cushy thing that they can fall back on and then they never, and then that's when you, he, the, the, the dial or the, the, the dialogue of like, you really need to just fucking.
Let go of all your safety nets so that you're kind of forced into seeing like what's possible and what you're capable of. I think there's value in that too. Do you know what I mean? And so I really think it depends on like each person and, and it's unique. Okay. Yes. You're, you're raising Kyley's,
Kyley: I'm raising my hand because I just got excited because I think if this question asker had said that they had had a side job, like they'd had a side business for a year. Or even six months and they were toying with, [00:23:00] do I quit and go full time? My answer would be different. But to quit and start like my brother in Christ, there are going to be obstacles that you do not foresee.
There are going to be comp, there are going to be like emotional complexities that you have not tended, like the you, you just can't know until you're in it. And I would inherently be more cautious with someone who. Wants to go like the, the all to nothing, right. Versus like, I started something, it's been a project like I, it's barely made any money, but I have, I have like some sense of what it is.
It's got a fucking web website, like that project that you've been tending to and like preparing yourself for to quit, to do something that you've already started again, even if it's small. I think is a much safer leap of faith than the
Eva: All to nothing.
Kyley: I haven't even started yet, but I've got a dream and I have three months to make it [00:24:00] work.
Eva: [00:25:00] So I think that's, so we're just, [00:26:00] we can, we're, we're supposed speaking, we're both speaking in our own personal experiences and like for the listener. I just, I think it's important to note that, because again, and I think it's good that you reach out and ask these questions. 'cause it's good to hear from different people and like, I think anyway, just to sort of like, you know, do some research, you know, and see.
How different people have experienced it. But my story was very much, I went from all, like from, I went from nothing at all. No, nothing to all, like, I, I quit my job because I was really sold on the idea. I got caught up in that, like, I actually think that was sold to me in the program that I was part of.
They were like, you can, like, you can, you can make six figures and like however many months or whatever without like really. Properly preparing for me. And then so, and then that like really blew out my nervous system where I was like, okay, now I have to make all this money. If it's not coming in, I'm freaking out.
And it wasn't until I got like worked with another business coach later on, this is still very early on in my business, but she was like, oh yeah, I never recommend people quit their job. I always tell them like, you know, phase out of it slowly, you [00:27:00] know, so that it's safe. And I was like, God, I wish someone would've given me that practical advice.
You know? So I really. Yeah, I think we're giving you different, sort of like milestones for you to look at and see where you are. Um, and I also think that it's okay. I, I think what you, to the listener, the question is like, what did you say? You hear like, it's exciting. It, it's exciting, but there's no guarantee of success.
And I think if you're gonna take a leap of faith, like to really lean into that, to know that. To acknowledge I am taking a leap of faith and it's exciting and I'm really passionate about this and I've been thinking about this for a while, but to and to hold that anything is possible and there are infinite possibilities and like magic is real, you know?
And also with this sort of like courageous. Acknowledgement and acceptance of like, you don't know if you're gonna see be successful, you could totally fucking fall flat [00:28:00] on your ass. And that's part of the journey of like being vulnerable and being, I mean, I think there's, that's really, really, really, really fucking scary.
But that's oftentimes what it takes in order to do something great is that you need to be willing to fail, which I'm also really bad at, by the way. So I get like, I am terrified of failure and also.
It's the same thing. It's like, it's, it's like heartbreak, you know? It's what they say about love too. It's like, but I wanna live a full life, and so I'm willing to have my heart broken and I'm willing to fail because
Kyley: And yes, you said like how magic is super real. And the other thing I wanted to add is like magic is super real. spirit's timeline is fucking wild. Right? And like, we like show up. There was like one point where I kept writing these like six month business plans of like the projects I was gonna work on, and I could like literally hear spirit laughing at me.
They were like, if that's cute for [00:29:00] you. Like if that's a fun, if, if that's one, that's one way you could spend your time. You also could knit like, okay, whatever. Not everybody runs their business like so, you know, so on spirit's timeline, um, as I do, but there is truth in that, right? Like we can do out all the numbers and we can do all the projections.
Be like, okay, in three months this will happen and this will happen. And also spirit's timeline is wild. And, and sometimes when we are very spirit led, I find that. We do sometimes get knocked around a little bit because life is like, you've been carrying all this baggage that is keep that you want freedom, right?
You want to be free and that freedom is not success. It's not like, it's not material success, although it includes abundance for sure. Right. And like creative fulfillment for sure. But you also, we are so hungry for internal freedom and I really [00:30:00] believe that spirit loves us too much to let us like get away with our own bullshit.
And sometimes knocking us sideways is like the easiest way for us to offload a bunch of the baggage that we've been carrying, right? And so sometimes like my failed lunches. Have taught me, taught me way, way, way more about myself and growth and love and my business than like my super successful ones, and don't get me wrong, prefer the super successful ones,
Eva: Yes. Yeah.
Kyley: but like the state of ease that I have and the self master that I have, and the depth that I get to hold my clients.
And like all of that came from. Like fumbling forward and, and, and so to the point of like, there's no guarantee you'll be successful. Absolutely. There is no guarantee. And also you'll be so fucking bummed if you don't try. You know? And I believe that if you lean the fuck in with your whole heart and you let yourself be like [00:31:00] tossed around by life, or if you let yourself have the experiences of being changed by the ups and downs, like you will absolutely.
Like achieve what you are looking for. But again, it might not look like what you thought it
would, Mm-hmm.
uh, but you will be successful 1000%. It just, your understanding of success might shift and evolve
and deep in and broaden
a along way.
Eva: Yes. Okay. So. I love that. I think it's a good mix of like practical and also spiritual in terms of like, in terms of answering the, like, you know, do I actually embark on this journey of entrepreneurship? And then there's this last piece of the question where the, the listener asks, how can I tell whether my desire for change is intuition or just impatience
Kyley: Hmm.
Eva: and.
Do you wanna speak on that? Is that you had mentioned something earlier about like avoidance, [00:32:00] which just like stirs the pot a little bit more and adds another layer, and
Kyley: Well, there was actually something a little bit different that I wanted to speak to. If, um, as an, as a real life example, which is kind of related, I think when we have a strong pull for change or to take action or to try something new. that kind of feeling where it like lights you up on the inside, like gives you like you feel all like lit up or like there's a particular feeling for certain kind of ideas or callings.
And I really do think that they are for us and we don't take all of them, but I really do feel like they're all for us. And I remember right after Nick and I got married, I remember reading this particular one particular wedding blog a lot during my wedding planning. Um, she was like to this like, great.
Feminist, like interesting conversations about the wedding industrial complex. And, you know, it, it was a very [00:33:00] rich, nuanced, interesting website of personal stories that also had like, pretty dresses and like, uh, so like, you know, wedding planning. Kyley really loved it. I wrote to her, uh, and, and her site got a lot of, like, it's, it's a huge, it's, she's like, actually her, it's called a practical wedding.
I think she still does it. I haven't paid attention in a while, but like she got real big and I wrote to her at one point right after our wedding. I was like, Hey, what if I wrote a column for you, a regular column for you about like, specifically about feminism, which is what I've gone to gender studies for and like cultural analysis and like how that relates to some of these topics.
Um. She was like, yeah, that sounds really interesting. Send me some, like, send me some writing samples. And I never did it. And I think about that a lot. Not with like huge regret because I do all this other cool creative stuff now, but I think about that a lot because I didn't do that 'cause I was just fucking scared, right?
And I was just fucking scared. And that would've been really cool. And who [00:34:00] knows what opportunities would've opened up for me if I'd done that And. Somewhere out in the universe, some other version of Kyley managed to like get her shit together and not be scared.
Eva: I mean, in another dimension, you're a blogger,
Kyley: uh, yeah.
Eva: you're a wedding blogger, no
Kyley: Oh my gosh, that would be, wouldn't that be funny?
Um, but I, but yeah, I mean, probably Right, but I, I say that because I think, I think we do regret. Like shots we don't take, you know? And, and I do think life comes back. It gives us more opportunities, right? There are, there are, I've had a lot of opportunities for life to be like, Hey, you wanna do cool, creative shit?
And finally I did. Right. Um, starting being notably with Halle Universe podcast. But, um, I, yeah, I think to this listener, or to anyone, this writer, to anyone who's listening like. If you have that pull [00:35:00] towards something like you'll be sad if you don't try. Even if you fail, like it will feel better to fail than it will to just not try.
Eva: no, try to. Totally, and that goes back to like the following your heart piece. It's like, you know, to this writer and listener, I'm like asking like, what do you want? Like. What do you want? And it's a dis, it's like just such a important question and sometimes deceptively simple, but it's also really powerful about like, what is it that you want for your life? And it's okay if what you want is like stability and extra money so that you can travel or whatever. You know, like there's no right or wrong answer. Some, sometimes people like assume that the answer is like, oh, what I want is to embark on this whole creative project and like to feed my soul. But sometimes people are like, no, actually I would really love stability right now and make, use that extra cash to like buy a home.
I don't know. You know what I mean? Whatever. And it's all but like you. To like deserve to check in with yourself. And so like, even to this [00:36:00] person, going back to the first part of this question, it's like, it's, it's getting harder to choose every day. And again, it is the encouragement to like get still and get quiet and like come into your body and like be in nature and like be with yourself and listen to yourself and like all of these really loving, nurturing, like magical practices where you can allow.
The wisdom to just get louder and louder and louder so that you can make that choice from like a really embodied place. Not to say that it's absent of fear, but you're like, I, I really intentionally choose this, you
Kyley: yes. yes. yes. Okay. That feels like the most beautiful way to wrap up this question. Um, I
Eva: We hope that was helpful. And other listeners, if you have your other questions you wanna send in Kyley and I love hearing from you. We love being able to take the time to pull these questions apart and offer some of our wisdom. So you can write to us at the email, in the show notes or send us a message on social media.
Kyley: Yeah. And do you [00:37:00] wanna tell us your joy?
Eva: Yes, yes, yes. Okay, so one thing that is bringing me joy right now. Um, so friends of the pod, you may know that I've, you know, struggled with chronic fatigue on and out off. And this year particularly I've shared where some of it's gotten really bad. And part of also the chronic fatigue stuff is like my hormones.
Hormones and my periods are intense, and blah, blah, blah. This year I went to a functional doctor and she's helped me with a lot of things and she also put me on hormone replacement therapy, which is huge. Like essentially I've been really interested in perimenopause and according to my tests, I'm not at per menopause yet, but I just love that it's becoming a more.
You know, common noted thing in mainstream dialogue, which is like just, you know, it's like about time, you know what I mean? Like, and I think there's [00:38:00] more education going out, and I think if you're like, in this age bracket, like I'm 41, like it's, it's good to go and learn about perimenopause and all the ways that your bodies are changing and like what to expect and how you can like.
Take care of yourself so that also the phase of menopause doesn't have to be such a fucking shit show. And so I'm really fascinated with all of that, all of that. And one of the main treatments for perimenopause and menopause is hormone replacement therapy. And I just, it just came really naturally. Like I didn't, I went to her to go see, like, to go into chronic fatigue stuff and then she, thankfully was also, was able to offer that as an option.
And I'm just. I, I, I think I'm my joy. Okay, let me start. 'cause it's multilayered, this joy thing. I've really struggled with my, with my bleeds for a long time. And this has just been a fucking game changer. Like, like it's a big deal. If anyone, I, you know, I, if anyone who's knows what PMDD [00:39:00] is, which is like your period on steroids, like that's what I've been diagnosed with.
And so. These past few months, like my period has come and I've been able to function normally, which has just been like such a, just, just a miracle. This is what it feels like. It feels like a fucking miracle. And so that's amazing. And what's amazing is that I always thought that it would be this like really labored, stressful process of like me, of like deciding whether I wanna do like HRT because.
Um, anyway, but it just came, it just, it just was super organic and I'm really grateful for that. And I wanna be careful of saying, like, this is mindful of, this is helpful for me. And it might be different for everybody because I think some people don't. It's just, you know, your body is, you know your body best, and so you have to go and decide.
So I wanna like be careful about proselytizing and then knowing that like it might not work for everybody. And I think it's also controversial in some ways 'cause I think some [00:40:00] people also think that there are, anyway, I won't get too much into the dialogue, but just this idea of like, then you might not be, well, I was always really afraid of was that I was, wasn't gonna be as connected with my body.
Um, because like my cycle and my moon was like this special time where like all of this stuff was happening and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I think that is still true. And for me it's about like being able to like. Harness that while also being a functioning human being. And that's, I cannot tell you all like how big of a deal this is for me.
It's, yeah, life changing, game changing. I'm really grateful.
Kyley: I know I have one other friend who went on HRT and similarly was like, uh, what the fuck? I can't believe I didn't do this sooner. It like changed so much for
Eva: Mm-hmm.
Kyley: emotionally. It's just really was a huge game changer for her too. So,
Eva: Yeah.
Mm-hmm. I love it.
too. Woo-hoo. Okay, Kyley, what's something that's being you Joy right now?
Kyley: [00:41:00] So I just wrapped up a private one-on-one retreat earlier this week, which was super, super fun for one of my clients. And basically one of the things that's really cool about my work is that when people come hire me, they stick around for long time. So I have clients for like sometimes as long as three years.
Um, and
eventually.
Eva: That's a really, good sign, y'all.
Kyley: I know I, someone the other day was like, do you have a sales page for your one-on-one work? And I was like, I do not. I've had full spots for years because everyone just stays.
Eva: Yeah.
Kyley: Um, I do have a spot opening up in December, um, but. Eventually for a certain amount of time, it just always becomes clear for like long-term clients that like we just need to be in person.
And this most recent one, all of a sudden I like hit that point. I was like, oh, I just, we just need to be in person. And then she sent me a message and was like, I think we need to be in person. And I was like,
Eva: Um
Kyley: yes, [00:42:00] same. It was the same day. I just love this shit. And so I like rented us this little Airbnb in this very cute New England town and we ate delicious food and we like relaxed
and had like.
Yummy coffees and did magic and cried and wrote email funnels like we did it all, you know? And it just was like so sweet and nourishing. And I just feel so, I mean, we just, we did like six months worth of work in one
fucking weekend. Right. And I just feel so lucky.
To get to do this. Like I was just like, this is my work.
What, like the first night we like turned all the lights down and lit a candle and I did an Akashic records session for her and we're like both like sobbing and um, yeah. And then the next morning we're like writing email funnels. So like just the. Deliciousness of the [00:43:00] full spectrum of the work that I get to do and the amazing fucking people that I get to like go on this ride with and what we get to create together and the like, their, their willingness to let me into their heart and their businesses and like, man, it's just so fucking cool.
Eva: God, I feel like. The person on the other end receiving this is really fucking lucky. Like, what an amazing fucking service. But also fun. Like I sense that it's like, well, fun for her, but also fun for you like, and that you know, you, you create these relationships with your clients and that, I don't think you'd wanna be stuck for a whole weekend with someone who you didn't like really.
Adore, you know, who, who you didn't wanna hang out with. And so it's like being able to hang out with your friends while supporting them in their business, and that just feels really awesome.
Kyley: I know it's really, that's exactly it. It's like I don't, you know, my, the people that I get to with are so fucking cool and we're really close and,
Eva: And you were like the best cheerleader, [00:44:00] which I also love about you, which is like, I think a tourist thing, but yeah.
Kyley: yeah, it's fun. It's really fun. And actually, I think after this most recent one, I was like, oh, everyone who works with me for a year. Like, everyone who works for, for at least a year ends up booking a one-on-one, like, if not sooner. And so for now, from now on, actually announcing on the pod, if you sign up for a whole year, you can have like discounted treat.
So, you know, it's just, you, you're gonna, here's the reality. People come, they, they're like, I'll do three months and then three fucking years later. So you might as well just commit in the beginning and then get, you know, a nice, a nice retreat thrown
in the back.
Eva: sounds really, really rich
Kyley: It feels fun to just like admit like, oh, actually, this is just the way the work.
This is how the work goes. This is what the work asks, so let's just structure it that way from the beginning. That feels really fun
too.
Eva: Woohoo.
Kyley: All right, listeners, we adore you. Thank you for [00:45:00] being on this ride with us.
Eva: If you like the show, share it with your friends, like share, leave a review, all that good stuff. We love you. I.