What happens when astrology starts to feel like a rigid set of rules, instead of a tool for self-discovery? Sofia Adler joins us to talk about how astrology can create anxiety instead of insight, and how it can become a box we feel stuck inside, rather than a relationship to outselves and the stars that we are living. Sofia also shares about her current work with Emotion Code and energy work, and how it’s changing everything for her. If you've ever felt afraid of Mercury Retrograde or trapped by your birth chart, this one's for you.
What happens when astrology starts to feel like a rigid set of rules, instead of a tool for self-discovery? Sofia Adler joins us to talk about how astrology can create anxiety instead of insight, and how it can become a box we feel stuck inside, rather than a relationship to ourselves and the stars that we are living. Sofia also shares about her current work with Emotion Code and energy work, and how it’s changing everything for her. If you've ever felt afraid of Mercury Retrograde or trapped by your birth chart, this one's for you.
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[00:00:00] Hello everybody. Welcome back to Hello Universe, Kyley here. And this week's episode is with the brilliant Sofia Adler, who's an energy worker, a coach. She works with astrology, and this episode is for you if you have ever been simultaneously intrigued by and frustrated as hell by astrology.
And one of our reoccurring points of conversation is like. All the fucked up ways. We misunderstand and misuse astrology so that we can have a more sovereign and fun relationship with it. Um, we also talk about energy [00:01:00] and all sorts of other kinds of magic, so enjoy. I.
Sofia, welcome back on the show. How are you?
Hi. I'm so happy to be here. I'm good.
It's
are, ha. Yeah. How did that happen? Okay. So we're gonna start right away with a question we always like to start with, which is, what is life teaching you right now?
Life is teaching me that the past is not the present.
What I mean by that is I have had some recurring things from my past pop up. Um, I will be specific with listeners. I used to have peral dermatitis, which is a, a skin rash on my face. Um, and I often notice a connection to my cycle, and I'm getting married in less than two months.
And I have noticed, not that rash, but some skin stuff. And so the daily practice of being like, of noticing how my mind wants [00:02:00] to tell the story or wants to freak out of like, oh my God, it's like, it was last time and, and blah, blah, blah. And it's like, no, the past is not the present. There might be, you know, there might be themes or I might be touching on this in different ways, but I am here now. That
Mm.
what, like even like in business, you know, like a. A quieter period after a big expansion and old stories creeping in about what the quieter period means and that that mental, it's like a gentle, yet fierce discipline of like, I'm not there anymore. I'm
Mm. Mm-hmm. Can you talk a little bit more about how specifically that helps you with, I think maybe more generally like health, what you're talking about, your skin, but I think a lot of people with health stuff, which I'm going through health stuff right now, which is why I'm asking how that helps you when the health, health stuff comes back up.
I mean, I can have, I can kind of go through my own process, but I'd be curious to hear it from you. Like what does that discernment do for you?[00:03:00]
It helps me realize that the physical thing is not what is upsetting me as much as it is the story I'm telling
myself about the thing. And so to put it really simply and not so eloquently, it helps me drive myself less crazy.
totally. That's what we all want. That's what it's all about. Yeah.
Yeah, like, so, because when you really can sit with, so, um, I've been meditating for God 13 years now. Um, and you know, to me the real beauty of a meditation practice is being able to just sit with whatever is going on without trying to fix it or freak the F out or, you know, like get yourself in a twist. And so over the years I've come to really realize is the, is it the thing that I'm upset about or is it the story I'm telling myself about the thing that's upsetting me? And let's be clear, sometimes it's, I'm [00:04:00] noticing the story and I'm still agitated, but that space of recognizing that it's the story rather than the thing, right? Like, it, it
almost feels like fact or fiction,
Mm-hmm.
you know, like.
totally.
Of like, I'm back where I was. Nothing worked. Like, oh my God, I'm gonna do it again.
I'm gonna be so lost and trapped and yada yada. It's like I can go down that road, but that is not the present moment that I am in.
Yeah. That may not even be real at reality. I love that so much. That's so helpful because it's like, you know, the suffering's already there possibly. Or like the, the pain point is already there, but then we, it gets compounded by all of the past associations that we have, which then I think just make it like so much worse.
And I actually think there's a lot of value in being, like, if there were no past and no future, how would I respond to this situation? And I oftentimes find that, like I respond to it with so much more clarity and ease and peace when I'm not, when there's no story of past and future later layered on top of it.[00:05:00]
Yeah.
Yeah.
I also am really like this distinction. Is it the thing that's upsetting me or is it the story about the thing? Because as you both know, like I'm all about like, let's feel our feelings. And also there's plenty of times where it's like there's no, this is like, this is just recycled material. Like there's nothing actually to like, that needs some big, long, tender, emotional witnessing.
There's just like, you know, bad habit, old neural pathway. Kind of like, you know, like you said, I really love the, also the phrase gentle yet fierce discipline of like, Nope, no thank you. We're not going down that road. And so that just feels like a really beautiful way to witness, like, is there something upsetting here?
Or is it the idea of something that's upsetting, in which case we're gonna choose to deal with this and engage with this differently. So thanks. I like that little framing. Wrote that note down for myself.
Yeah, my pleasure. It also makes me think of like. If your partner or your roommate leaves a dish in the sink, that's really different than telling [00:06:00] yourself like, oh, they're so considerate. They left the dishes for me, like they, oh, blah, blah. It's like, wait, there's just a dish in the sink. Like maybe they were busy or like maybe they forgot, or I, you know, maybe they had to run to the ba.
You know, it's like the story a lot of times is the villain, not that the event itself.
Well, and the other
thing that I think I really love about what you're pointing to is when we, when we make our past, our present, we're also then locked into it, right? So when you know, the, the, you know, equality, once the business becomes some story of like, this is what always happens to me, well then that's what always happens, right?
Then that's what happens, and you can't think outside that possibility of like victim and small and, and, and, and the pain that lives there. But when we let the present exist on its own, well, anything's possible. Like, you know, your partner could do all the dishes and surprise you, right? You just, you just have, there's just like open, there's an open [00:07:00] field of possibility that can't exist when we're using that past so strongly to define the presence.
So, um, but, and, and I don't know about you guys, but I find, if I'm honest with myself, sometimes that open field of possibility is actually really unnerving. And sometimes I watch myself pick up the stories of the past, even though I quote unquote don't like them because they're familiar. I know the shape of them well and the like, open-ended is, uh, I don't know, vulnerable, dangerous, unknown.
but that's good. I mean, at least, but I also think you have the wherewithal to be like, well, huh. Even if you're like, fuck, you're like, you also have the wherewithal to be like, well, I actually know this is good. You know that you're, that discomfort means that you're touching into. You know, moving out from the comfort to be like, well, this is uncomfortable, but I'm probably getting closer to the truth, you know?
Yes. I think that makes sense.
Um, So, Sofia, I have a question for you about this. [00:08:00] I think one of the things that tricks us, trips us up is to how often we don't realize that we're letting the past to find the present, right? Like there's a, I'm curious what your process is for catching yourself doing it.
'cause it's so familiar. It can be kind of insidious.
Yeah. Um, honestly, or some practice of observing what your inner narrative is, and also self-reflection as it relates to what is the thing that is upsetting you.
Mm-hmm.
can be journaling, that can be talking with a friend, that can be seeing a coach or an astrologer or, or energy work. Like it can be anything but that it also, I should back up, or maybe this is the umbrella of it. You have to be able to sit in the discomfort of it. Which, you know, again, I 13 years of meditation, like it's, it's not like it's something that is necessarily [00:09:00] easy, um, but the awareness of, am I trying to like manically fix something? Like that's another point, right? Like with a physical thing, especially if it's a repeating or recurrence physical thing. The stress of like, okay, well let me go do all the things that I tried before that I knew would help. And like, it's like, oh my God. Whereas when you can sit with it more, I find at least I'll speak for myself. I can feel more common at peace because I realize like, oh, I've got this. If this were to, you know, come back, or if this were to be the exact same thing, I've been through it before, I've gotten to the other side, like I, I know what to do. Um, and it can even be as helpful of a question of like. What am I truly afraid of? And like reflecting on that, like I can share about my skin stuff. The hardest part for me during that time was feeling like something was happening that I didn't understand, that I couldn't figure [00:10:00] out, and that, I'm trying to think.
It's not that I felt trapped, I just felt so helpless. Like I was like, I am, I am running in place and I, and help, like help something is wrong and I can't get to the bottom of it. And like, and, and so when I sat with my own stuff, I was like, that's actually what I'm afraid of. Like that it's, it's that feeling that place that I don't want to go back to.
Oh, the Yes. Oh my God. I feel like sometimes there's some episodes Kyley and I will say that are for her and some episodes are for me. 'cause someone will come on just speak so accurately to the experience that we're having. And I was just sharing with Kyley that I'm having all this chronic health stuff come reemerge, you know?
And I feel the same way. It's about the helplessness. And you and I hadn't really, like, I I, I've known for sure that that was a thing of a re a recurring theme, but it's like, but I haven't really sat with it, so you're giving me like a helpful reminder [00:11:00] of like, wait, you're right. It's, it's the helplessness.
I can't do anything about this. The unknown, like, there's no answer, blah, blah, blah. That what I, it feels like, um, treading water, you know?
Mm-hmm.
so. This is just such a helpful reminder of like, what is it to look at what it is that we're really afraid of. And then for me, I think to take that one step further is like, okay, so then how can I, what do I do with this helplessness?
How can I be with it? You know, how do I tend to that feeling of helplessness? 'cause that's really what's calling for all of my attention. And uh, I mean, I don't think we need to go into a whole dialogue about this, but I think sometimes what's really helpful for me is like a, a mantra that I've been working with for a while now is like, just also allowing things to be completely outta control.
Not from a place of like, fuck it, which is okay too, but just a sense of like, I maybe letting in, I am helpless in this moment. Like, what if I could like totally be with that helplessness? And, and I think there's a Rumi quote, I dunno if it's Rumi or something, but there's a quote where he says like, we don't know our love until we [00:12:00] know our helpless helplessness.
Something like that. And I, I don't know if I'm butchering it, but I found that to be very true. It's like, whoa. It's like complete humility. It's like I. Do not have control over this, and coming and opening myself up to that, I think can be a very profound practice.
Yeah. Um, my therapist always reminds me of this phrase, she always says to me, like, if I'm in like a panic, to come back to the phrase, I haven't figured it out yet, but I know that I will,
Mm-hmm.
that's a much stronger statement, like stronger energetically, right? Like the phrase of, oh God, it's happening again.
Or I'm helpless, or I'm hopeless. Like, that's a really low vibration and frequency,
but saying like, I haven't figured it out yet, but I know I will, and thank you. This is a good reminder for me that I need to say it more often. It just kind of like cuts the edge for me of like, I I am acknowledging that I don't know, and I'm acknowledging that I'll get to a place where I do know.[00:13:00]
Okay. This is so interesting to me and. I wanna make sure we've already, just like we're off to the races in this conversation, but I also just wanted to clock that there's so many other things that we want to talk about. Kyley was so good guys. Kyley sat down before this episode and like wrote down an outline, which like hasn't, I don't think ever happened in the history of Hello Universe.
I just think it's gonna be so helpful for this conversation. So I wanna get, I wanna honor the outline, but I also can't help but ask this more like philosophical question to the both of you of like, I totally hear you on like the power of, I haven't figured it out yet, and I will, I feel like another version, another statement that comes up for me when I say that's like, I haven't figured out yet and I don't have to.
Hmm.
what do you think about that? How
Oh, my body hates that My body is like, that is horrible. Fuck you.
Uhhuh?
Yeah,
yeah, I mean, I think it depends on the person.
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think we need to speak to what we need to hear, you know?
Yes. Yes. And and to your [00:14:00] point, like I think if somebody feels the pressure that they have to do it all themselves, that the phrase, like, I haven't figured it out yet, but I don't have to.
How nourishing and supportive is that? Right? I, and it's inter I appreciate that question because it helps me reflect on the, I haven't figured it out yet, but I know I will,
to me includes my support system that
I have.
Yes.
Right. And I've never really thought about that before. Um, and also, you know, the way we approach every situation matters.
Like how, how many studies have there been of the way you talk to something, the way you speak about something directly impacts it. Like,
I I forget the, the Japanese researcher's name, but the guy who studied water. You guys heard about this? The Snowflake study.
Yes. But maybe you can, yeah, maybe you can tell us in the
Yeah, so I can't remember his name [00:15:00] off the top of my head, but I will Google it and share it. This Japanese researcher did a study on water, and he had water that he praised. He played jazz music like classical, told the water, I love you, you're beautiful. All of these wonderful things. And then he had another, you know, batch of water that he was like, you're ugly. I hate you. You suck. Like all these negative things.
And he looked at under a microscope, the, the water and the water that was spoken to nicely, like played beautiful music, formed snowflakes, like the most beautiful crystalline structures that are just like divine. Um, and the water that he spoke poorly to, no structure, moldy like. And you, and you're like, oh my God, it's, it's water.
Right? It is energetically directly influencing it. And our bodies are primarily water. So of course speaking to ourselves in a [00:16:00] negative way, like imagine what, yeah, sure. Imagine what that does to your state of mind and how you feel, but on a cellular, energetic level,
Mm-hmm.
imagine what's that? What that's doing to you.
Mm-hmm. Yeah. I think I may have lost the thread. So tie this back to what we, what we, how was this connected to what we were saying earlier about like the, I don't have to, I, you know, I haven't figured it out, but I don't have to or, or I don't. I ha I, or I will, I haven't figured out yet, but I will.
Totally. I maybe also have lost the thread, but I appreciate that we're here and
I'm here for it and I'm getting all sorts of inspiration, so threads thrown up in the air.
It feels like, it feels like our plant is like shooting out different roots, you know, and
we're just directing it back into the soil. Um, but I think the connection is. Knowing what you need. That of, like for me, my phrase that I love and feel a coherence with is, I haven't figured it out yet, but I know I will. And maybe Eva, yours is, I haven't figured it out and I don't have to. But either way, that, like [00:17:00] what is the, what is the kindness you can bestow upon yourself in a moment of difficulty
or in a moment of tying it back to the beginning? For me, like not getting confused that the past is the present because it's not, um.
Mm-hmm.
and I really like that point, Sofia, because I think, you know, Eva, we've spoken before about like the burden of responsibility, right? Like when, when your chronic fatigue hits in, how much, there's this like frustration of like, oh, but I can't do all the things that I wanna do. So it makes a lot of sense that I don't have to figure this out is like such a, without that, there's like a relief there because part of potentially what you're
being up against is all the doing that can't happen.
And then you were so beautifully
speaking Sofia, so like, oh, I have no fucking control and power and I'm helpless. And so the reminder of like, I will get the answer even if I don't have it right now, as you were saying, is like speaking directly to the part of you who needs to remember like, no, no, [00:18:00] we have more power than we think we do.
Yeah. But I wanna, I do wanna add a clarifying point to this idea of like, I, I haven't, I can't figure it out or I haven't figured it out and I don't have to. I think behind that, there's also this sense of like, I don't have to, and it's. Because it's not, it's not like I have to figure it out, but I don't have to because no matter what, it's gonna be all good.
It's a sense of like, I think that's really the meaning behind it. It was like, and also I can be happy even if I don't figure it out, that I'm not dependent on figuring it out to be fully satisfied and delighted with life. And I think that's like, that's an, that's a interesting back and forth for me because I, on one hand, I'm like, that's, I want that to be true.
And then on the other hand, I wanna make sure that I'm not using that as a dismissal for actually having, for figuring it out. Do you know what I mean? For my desire to actually figure it out. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah.
mentor and friend of mine had chronic Lyme, and she decided that despite her chronic Lyme, that she would [00:19:00] be well and she would have the business and the life and the husband and all things, and her like full remission came not long after her decision
that she wasn't.
Wow. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. What's, what else? What else is on our agenda today, Kyley?
Uh, I do think this topic of siding is really juicy and it's a secondhand story. I'll like let it float on. But one of the things that I am really excited to pick your brain about and hear from you astrology, hear from you, Sofia, is your relationship to astrology and how it shifted over time, because I think you have a particularly. Important contribution about our relationship to astrology. And I am always appreciative of the wisdom that you drop about how we relate to astrology. Because as [00:20:00] some of you may know, that was how you started, right? You started as an astrologer. You now are a supremely magical woman of many skills. You always have been, but it's, uh, it's more front.
It's perhaps more front forward. Um, and I'm just curious what you want us, what were, what you want us to know about astrology and how your experience with it has shifted over time
or relationship.
Yeah. Um, if anybody's listening to this and doesn't know what astrology is, just really quick. The basic of the basic astrology is the study of what's happening up there in the planet with the planets and how it affects us down here on earth as individuals and as a collective. That's what astrology is. Um, my next addition to that is that astrology is an energy modality. We are looking at and studying the energetics of the planet and how those energetics impact our own energy. Um, you know, it's funny, I was having a [00:21:00] conversation with a friend. We circadian rhythm, right? Like our bodies, our entire system functions around light and the sun, and. You know, a me, a common cause of illness for many people is a dysregulated, circadian rhythm, a disconnection from the natural world. We know that the moon influences our, um, you know, women's menstrual cycles. We know that the moon influences crops and water and the ocean and tides. So a fucking course the planets affect us.
You know, like, I think for some people they're like, oh, no, no way. Like Mercury, Venus, I don't know. Uh, meanwhile, right, we have proof of the Sun of the Moon. I just read a PubMed article yesterday about earthing or grounding and how it helps wound healing. It helps immune system, like just connecting to the electromagnetic nature of the earth, which we have [00:22:00] in our bodies. So that was fully, I own it a tangent, a tendril, but like, I. Astrology is the study of what energetically is going on with the planets and how it influences our own energetics as individuals and as a collective astrology. At its best. I'm making a sassy face for everyone. Listening. Astrology at its best is a tool that you can use to better understand yourself and your life.
It provides a different language and framework for navigating life. Astrology, mainstream is, in my opinion, often shared as a predictive sneakily, like self-power, removing modality. AK people are like, oh, like, well, what did the planets say? Can I launch this now? Oh, smirky retrograde. Forget it. Going on a date with somebody, oh, that dude's a Scorpio.
No f, no way. I'm a taurist. Like. [00:23:00] Astrology is a tool that we are meant to use, that we get to use that, by the way, you don't have to use, but you can if you want. Right? Um, and I see over and over and over again, unintentionally most of the time, all the time, people giving up their power to the planets and it drives me, or, well, it does drive me bananas, but what I think I will say more of is that it really caused a fracture in my relationship with astrology.
Or perhaps, you know, to say it in a gentler ki kinder way. It helped speed up the evolution of my passion and my practice beyond just astrology because it helped me see, oh, like I thought this was the thing. I thought it was it. When really hindsight's 2020, this was the thing that opened a door for me.
Other places.
[00:24:00] And one of many doors. We never know where life is gonna take us. And this could just be the second door, and there could be a third and fourth and, and a, you know, a hun you know, it's like, we always think that we get to the thing and we're like, oh, this was just a stepping stone to the other, to the next thing, you know?
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
But I really love the way, um, you explained, um, how the planets, you know, energetically affect us, which I wonder, is that also how you transitioned into getting more into like energy work?
You know, it kind of happened, it was like a dance. It happened at the same time. So, you know, I was practicing astrology on a per, like my personal life, getting more into different energy work and energy modalities and energy medicine. And then from that place I was able to see, oh, wait, like why doesn't everybody talk about astrology?
Not as, because to at least the way I. My experience was that like astrology's over here and then energy work is over here, right? Like reiki lives over there. [00:25:00] Other, like, all the other modalities you hear talked about are over there. And astrology is like its own being. And to me, as I was working with energy work, I was like, wait a second.
The energy work is astrology. Astrology is energy work. These are all just different modalities of helping us both see, you know, witness and understand what I think at least everybody listening to this podcast knows like, there's something going on here, right? Like, there's something bigger here. Um, I think Astrology does an amazing job of providing more tangible language and tools that the brain can grasp onto than some other modalities. Um, but yeah, it happened in reflection. I was like, wait a second, I've been getting this all, all wrong, or I've never, I never saw it like this before, but now I can't unsee it.
Mm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Okay. Can I ask a question about astrology as someone who's [00:26:00] not particularly astrology literate, astro literate, I dunno if that's a correct word, but like I, it's, it's fun for me. Like it's, it's purely fun. I don't know a ton about it, and I kind of like this relationship, you know, it's like, it's like, um, yeah, it's fun.
But, you know, every once in a while I'll be scrolling on Instagram and I'll see like the popular astrology people who are like, okay, the sun and the moon and blah, blah, blah, and the house, and blah, blah. This is all gonna be happening this week. Like this week you need to be doing this X, Y, Z. Or you need to like, really, uh, utilize the energy of whatever these planets to, I don't know, help your career or help your health or connect with your family.
And then there'll be other moments of like, um, kind of like you were saying, giving our power away. Like, and then, and then me mer like Mercury's and retrograde, so we shouldn't be doing this, blah, blah, blah. So how do you recommend. Because I actually think when you're like as deep into astrology as you are, it's actually easier to understand it and the nuances of it and to not actually be so caught up [00:27:00] in the pop version of it.
But for those of us, like myself, who are only in kind of interested in it from a fun sort of poppy, poppy perspective, how, yeah, how do we, how do we engage with astrology in a way that we aren't sort of giving our power away to it?
Yeah. Um, so before I directly answer that, I wanna remind everyone, and it always makes me smile. There are like millions and millions and millions of people in the world who have rich, beautiful, amazing lives and have never, once I. Ology paid attention to the planet. You know? So like when, when people, 'cause it happens to me too, even as a fricking astrologer.
Like you see something on Instagram and you're like, oh my God, wait. Like do I need to like pay attention to that? Or do I need to do that? And so just the, the levity and the reminder of like, there are people that have no idea that this is stuff exists and it is not like they are worse for the wear. Sure. Do they probably get frustrated at times during a Mercury [00:28:00] retrograde and wonder why? Yes. But I actually think those people, like I love the fun approach to astrology. Like I love the easy breezy tap in, tap out, because I actually think that's kind of the best way to work with it. Like working with astrology when you're curious is the best because instead of being like, oh shit X, Y, Z is gonna happen. You can be like, oh, I read that X, y, Z happened. Let me map that against like the experience that I had. And, and does that then provide a different language or framework or perspective? Like, oh, like that's why my kids were psycho. There was a full moon. Got it. Do you know what I mean?
Versus like, oh my God, my kids are being crazy.
Like, what is happening? I need to find a meaning.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
being curious
is really important. Um, I also, you know, this goes back to self-awareness. I think you gotta know yourself, right? When you, or just like do a self check-in when you [00:29:00] can, or you experience a post like that. Do you feel excited? Do you feel curious? Do you feel
empowered
Mm-hmm.
or do you feel I. A little anxious and like, oh shit, and feel like you gotta go check on stuff, or Oh my God, I'm missing out. Like, oh my God, if I, oh my God, right? Like, what am I gonna do? If you are
in that second camp, you have full permission from somebody who is in Astro, like, I work with this stuff intimately.
Like you have full permission to ignore it.
Mute the post. Like I and that, and by the way, I don't think this is specific to astrology. I think it's with any self-care, personal growth modality. Like is it something that's connecting you back to yourself and expanding your sense of self, expanding the way you see the world and your life? Or is it making you kind of freak out because life is too short to be freaked out all the [00:30:00] time
Yeah. Especially by, yeah, something that you're seeing on Instagram that's like someone telling you how you should be living your life.
Yeah, and I don't, and Kyley, I feel like you were speaking to this earlier, you know, if you tell yourself, oh my God, it's Mercury retrograde, everything is gonna be a shit show for the next three weeks. Guarantee you're gonna have a hard time.
Yeah.
if you say, oh, it's Mercury retrograde, I'm, I'm okay.
Like, let's see how that shows up for me. And I will be compassionate with myself if I have a snafu or something doesn't go right, whatever. But like, I'm gonna continue living my life.
Yes.
You might not even notice Mercury retrograde at all. I can't tell you how many times I'm in a mer, we're in Mercury retrograde and people are like, it's so terrible, blah, blah.
I'm sitting here. I'm like, could have fooled me. It was Mercury like that's the
Totally. That's exactly my experience because I don't,
because you dunno.
yeah.
Or I,
yeah, go ahead.
it's interesting because I will, I will admittedly pick and choose. Like if something works in [00:31:00] my favor, I'll be like, of course. Yeah. That's why. And then if it doesn't work in my favor and they're like, this week is gonna be a shit show, I'm just like, eh, ignore.
And then there is a little bit of like, I guess my question is. When it comes to astrology, and I actually think, like you're saying, all healing, all healing modalities, where's the line between, this is something that, this is like a structure that's supposed to sort of give you information like astrology versus you create your own reality and it, it can go against what all the information is saying.
You know, like astrology says, as a Capricorn, this month is gonna be hard for me. And I can just be like, well, I don't wanna believe that. I'm just gonna make my own reality. So where, where's the, I don't know, the Venn diagram of those twos, I.
yeah. Um, I think the line is fuzzy because. This brings me to another great point about how I work with the stars is that the planets are not out to get you, you are not a victim of cosmic events. [00:32:00] You are co-creating with the energy. And when we're talking about astrology, you are co-creating with a cosmic oriented energy. So, you know, it's like, it's like the life gives you lemons, make lemonade shtick. Like I, I think that there is something to be said for the power of free will and for the power of deciding how something is gonna go for you and like, doubling down and being undeterred, undeterred, deterred, undeterred. Um, you know that, I think that there, it does, you know, fluctuate and move and shift and also. We cannot underestimate the power of how we work with and incorporate the energy. And, and I wanna be real here, like, that doesn't mean that there aren't sometimes astrological energies that influence you, that are just straight hard, that they don't feel joyous or fun. Like, uh, I'll give an example. So there's something called perfection [00:33:00] years, and it's a unique energy to your year.
And what I love about them is that it's based on your birthday. It's like hyper specific to you as a person versus the astrological new year or January 1st. And I just turned 36 actually a month ago today. Um, and my 35th year was a 12th house year. So if you're 35, you're in a 12th house year. A 12th house year is a time of, it's a time of endings and pulling back and kind of hanging in the shadows and maybe more sensitive and a motive like. I didn't wanna get dressed for a year. Okay. Like, I didn't, and, and not to say like, kind of, but like, I just, I wanted to wear sweats. Like I never wanted to, like, put on clothes or go out. Um, I felt a lot of confusion. Like the 12th house year can be a year of disillusion, like things dissolving because you're preparing for the next year, which is about new beginnings and fresh starts and identity. [00:34:00] It was so hard for me. Like, it was so like, don't hear me incorrectly. I had an amazing year. I, so many things were great. But like that general through line of things being foggy and confusing and moving slowly and just feeling like things that I had been working on that I would've thought were right, like kind of dissolving and falling away. Ugh. Like I was so, I was so happy when that ended. And I. I didn't go into the year saying like, oh shit, I'm in a 12th house year. My connection to the 12th house year actually came from my realizing, you know, like coming at it from this is my experience, is there a perspective, a language, a framework out there that can help me understand this in a different way instead of just feeling like I'm lost and confused,
which I think is a, a big reason that people come to [00:35:00] astrology or things like astrology in the first place.
Like I will say, when I first found astrology, I was in a part of my life with a lot of questions, with a lot of unknowns, and having the guidance and the direction was so supportive and healing. And I, I, I dunno what I would necessarily tell my past self if I would say, yes, this is good, or if I would encourage her in other ways.
But I think too, part of my, you know, going back to your original question, Kyley, like. Part of my transition away from working with astrology and the way that I did is 'cause I was like, wait, like I don't wanna have the answers to everything. I don't want to have an energy energetic reason for every blip or joy or in between or blah.
Like, I just, I want to live my life,
Mm-hmm.
right? Like, and, and so that, I think also is where one, why my relationship to astrology changed as an individual, as an astrologer, as a business [00:36:00] owner. Um, but I think we're here to live our lives. I think I wanna wake up every day and not know what's happening in the stars.
Like, I don't wanna know. I don't care. I wanna live my life and let it unfold. And if in hindsight I wanna go back and crosscheck or get curious about maybe how I felt and experienced the energy in my body, I. Okay. But I, I think people have it all wrong in terms of how we use the planets. And also when we come to them, like old school astrologers, like they're historians.
Like you, you're big time astrologers. Like they're not doing the Instagram dog, like song and dance. Maybe they are now 'cause that's kinda the world we're in. But they're being, they're looking at it and being like, oh, the last time that like, Uranus was in Taurus, like we were in this year and this is what was happening.
Like, it's pa it's pattern recognition.
Right. Well, you know what I'm really, what I'm picking [00:37:00] up from this, which is not the, is this idea of coming to astrology with curiosity and for compassion
Mm-hmm.
and, and I'm thinking about, um, uh, just this reoccurring theme of like, don't outsource your power. Like whatever it is, if you're using it to outsource your power, like you gotta take a step back.
Even I was at this really lovely luncheon the other day and um, some of the women were sitting around a woman who was like, oh, I'm doing, she was, um. Doing a home renovation project. She's like, I wanna put like a crystal in this, like in the wall behind my bed. And she was like trying to figure out like what Crystal to pick and like the feng shui of like where she puts her bed.
And, and it was a really interesting conversation. And also we all noticed the moment there was like one woman who like works with crystals, another woman at the table, like just has like a personal passion for feng shui. And it like all started with this energy of like curiosity and won't that be fun?
And what all of a sudden there was this shift where it was [00:38:00] like, but wait, what's the rule? Where does the bed have to be? And we all felt it right. There was this like, wait, like she, like, she was like, wait, do I have to get out a pen? You know, like what's the, and we all kinda like paused and like had to like take a deep breath and remind it was like a, you know, and then 'cause it's me, I was the one who was like, there's no rules.
They're all just made up. You know? But it was just really interesting 'cause we all felt it. This thing that started with a lot of like pleasure and curiosity all of a sudden turned into this set of. Like rules to follow and then, and then that's where the fear and the grassiness came in. Um, and so I think this brings me to another question for you, Sofia, which is what came out of this for you, right?
So in some ways, I think like this through line has always been like, this was the thing that brought you into astrology. Astrology. This is how you've like, you know, been intentionally cultivating a relationship with astrology for a while. And also what came out of [00:39:00] it for you in terms of new, like new modalities or additional ways of supporting yourself and supporting your clients.
Like, yeah. What has emerged on the other side of this
Yeah. Um, you know, I'll be honest, I am forever searching for my why.
Hmm.
You know, like I, and in part because as much as my mind finds it really annoying, right? Like the story I tell myself about it, it's because my why is evolving and changing, because I'm evolving and changing and because we're all energy, and energy is evolving and changing. Um, but I'm really passionate about helping people live spiritually guided and energetically alive lives. In particular, the practical and ambitious humans that come around and are like, oh, wait, like, huh, there's something more here. Like. Um, you know, like, [00:40:00] well, I've tried all of these like logical, practical suggested routes and none of them are working for me. Or I've tried to talk out my problems and I feel no relief. But then when I have this larger energetic context, whether it be astrology or something else, I feel peace like that I love, um, and I, I feel like it, it bears mentioning I'm an airy sun and an Aquarius moon and rising. And so my Aquarius like really loves, it's so funny because I'm such a rule follower and also my Aquarius is like, fuck that to many things, which is just like, it's just, it's really funny because for me to say I'm not a rule follower.
Anyone who knows me well would be like, that's, that's not true. Um, but it, it really opened the door to a larger energetic practice. So I am a reiki master. I [00:41:00] practice what's called the emotion code, which I love. It's this energy modality that helps your body release trapped emotions, or I should say trapped energies in the form of emotions, right?
Our sweet, amazing bodies, they try and process everything in the moment and oftentimes they hold onto things. So the emotion code helps get our energy moving again, and you're thi anything that can be moving energetically can heal. Um, and it flipping works and it's effective and fast and so cool.
Emotion code. I've seen what many would call like miraculous physical shifts. I've seen miraculous like ener, um, mental shifts of anxiety decreasing of a client whose weight just kept, you know, the scale kept going up and up and up and up for months. Her doctor's super concerned like, what's going on? Within one week of addressing it energetically, she lost four pounds and lost an inch and a half off her waist, like.
Yeah,
It is one of those things that I say It's wild. It's not wild because that is what's [00:42:00] possible when you work energetically. Just the way that we've been taught to think about our lives and our reality makes it like a Whoa. Um, and I also work Yeah. Go. No,
I just wanna ask a question about emotion care, which is, 'cause I, I know you're someone who's like, you're always curious of like, you know, experiencing new modalities, working with new, you know, healers and Right. You're, you're open and curious and. So what was the moment with a motion code, if you don't mind me asking?
That went from, this is a thing that's interesting to like experience to holy shit. Like I need to know this and I need to like learn how to be a facilitator of this.
I'm so glad you asked. 'cause it's a very funny story. Um, I was living in Dallas, my friend there at the time, either I saw her using it. Or she gave me her book, I, I can't remember, but all of which you say, the emotion code book came into [00:43:00] my possession and when I moved to Santa Fe almost four years ago now, which wow, Kyley, we've known each other for a really long time.
Eva known each other for a really long time. Um, I brought it with me like, you know, I was like packing up everything I owned, which wasn't that much, but you know, like a box of books is pretty heavy.
Right.
Have it with me. I was, you know, at this place of coming to terms with the fact that I was evolving out of astrology in the way I'd been working with it.
And frankly, I was pretty scared and pretty lost and confused, and the motion code was sitting on my bookshelf. And I found, I just kind of kept looking at it. And it's funny, I'm looking at it now. I, it just k it was like calling, it was just like a whisper. Like it just always caught my attention. But of course, for a long time I was too lazy.
I didn't open the book. I didn't take it off the shelf, obviously. Um, and then I was in a session with a mentor of mine and we were like, we were exploring something and long story short, the book came up and I, [00:44:00] she was like, there's something like in your office, in your space. I was like, oh, is it the emotion code book?
She was like, yeah, that's it. And so I started reading the book and I actually, like, I would listen to it. I have two dogs. I would, I got it on Spotify and I would listen to it as I walk the dogs. And I just started doing it on myself for months. And it was, is, you know, it was like, it just unfolded. It was as if it chose me and was just kind of sitting around, literally being like, whenever you're
Whenever you're ready.
or ready, um. So, yeah, it was like, I just kept, so all of us should say, if you're listening to this and you've been staring at a book on your bookshelf for a really long time, pick it up and read it. You don't know what will happen. Like I, how often do
you have a question? Forever? And the answer or one clue is like right there.
You just
have to follow the energy and be like, yeah, I should take that book off the shelf.
Yeah.
Sofia's your messenger people, like if you needed to hear this message, she's the messenger. She's coming into your earbuds.
[00:45:00] Great. I'm
passing it on from me to you.
But like, so what happened when you, for you, when you read that book, when you started practicing it for months?
You know, I ju it's one of those things that I can't even logically explain, like I just felt the call and also working with the emotion code is so easy to do that I just, I, I love practicing what I preach and I love using energy, energy medicine, energy work as a form of self tending.
Mm-hmm.
And so for me, I was like, I like this.
I'm just gonna keep doing it,
you know?
mean, like, so Yeah. So how did it help you? Like what did you, what did you notice
Um, you know, I'll be really honest. Oh, well, I'll be really honest with you. With me it was like slow, gradual things. I wouldn't say that. I was like, oh my
God, like this thing is radically shifted.
Um, but I used it on Penny. Penny is one of my dogs. Penny is the best.
She's my familiar. [00:46:00] Um, and she also veers towards anxiety, my sweet pup. And so when I moved into my house that I live in now, um, my fiance like ran the vacuum over our Woodburn stove and it made this like crazy loud noise that she did not like. And from then on out after years, she was terrified of the vacuum, would run in the other room, hide full body shakes, like horrible. And so I did the emotion code on her. And she's not afraid of the vacuum anymore.
Wow.
Yeah. And it
never, it never came back. So that's, I should also say like, you can do this on animals, things like yourself. Um Sure. There's times where I pull out the vacuum and she's like, I don't want noise right now, mom
and she leaves. But like that was a pretty miraculous
different than panic
and terror.
Yeah. Like, she, and I'll never forget the day that I took out the vacuum and she's lying on the couch as she does like curled up in a big, fuzzy blanket and [00:47:00] she just sat there like did nothing. And I was like, oh my God. You're not afraid anymore. Yeah.
Mm-hmm. That's awesome.
yeah, it's, um, and you know, it's funny, my Aquarian part, it's been interesting to reflect on. I'm drawn to energy modalities that are like off the beaten path that people don't, that, you know, that aren't mainstream per se. Um, my approach and take on the stars is certainly not mainstream and the comfort in that right. Of like acknowledging the parts of my chart that really speak to my, I'm trying to think of the word.
Like Aquarius, like waves their freak flag with pride most of the time. Right? Like, I think the biggest permission slip I got when I learned about astrology and learned about my own astrological makeup was the permission slip that I'm not meant to fit in.
Um,
That for me was a huge permission slip. And so, you know, even if my [00:48:00] relationship with astrology has changed, it's always such a treat to see it reflected in my life of like, oh yeah, of course you are into the things that most people don't know about or talk about. Of course, like. Subconsciously, my airy son that likes to work on something is like, great. Well, it gives you more to do because it's not something that everybody like knows and understands. Like, I have to, you know, like I have to do the legwork of, well, let me talk about it. Let me explain it. You know, versus somebody being like, oh yeah, I've heard that before.
So great. Then
love I, that is, I think my favorite part as someone who also only dabbles in astrology, it is the validation of like, like birth chart. Like transits is not that in, it's just not that interesting to me 'cause I. It, it just not, you know, the, the prescriptiveness that we were talking about before, but the like, oh, that's why I'm that way.
Like, like,
um, and I wanna come back to the motion code because I have, I'm, I'm curious about it more, but I had this really interesting moment somewhat recently, uh, [00:49:00] where I was like, I'm gonna look up Desi's birth, my, my, you know, Desi's birth chart. Uh, and this is my son who's eight for anyone who doesn't know. And, um, I don't know, I'd like know like the top big three, but I never really like, looked at it again because I just dabble. The kid has five planets in Pisces, including his
moon and his Venus. So like,
no wonder,
what's, what's Venus again? I don't remember.
Venus is, um, your values, what you
desire, what you're attracted to, what brings you joy. It's also money, um, and relationship, but it's that, it's like Aphrodite vibes.
Mm-hmm. Okay. Oh, sweet little
like big important things, just like dominated by Boundaryless Pisces, you know?
that poor soul. I'm just kidding.
uh, so no, but quite literally, and I was like, oh my, and I had this huge aha that I like said, and I sat down with him and I was like, Hey, kiddo. [00:50:00] I go, you know how sometimes you walk into a room and you just know, oh, and again, for my astrology nerds, it's all in the 12th house.
Wait. Which means what? Means sweet? What? Which means
Oh God. Well, I'll, I'll just say this to keep it brief. So, um, for anybody who's an astrology nerd, the houses and the signs are not the same. You guys, A 12 house is not a Pisces house. That is incorrect. However, they're definitely cousins. They are aspects of the 12 house that are similar to the aspects of Pisces.
So Eva, like, it's like a, what I would call it in a reading, it's like an echo. It's like not only does he have five planets and Pisces, they're all in the 12th house, which is just like another, a ring
on like the revolt. Correlation of energy. Um, but the 12th House is a very spiritual house. It's a very ethereal part of the chart in our lives. Um, it can speak to solitude for people. Um, 12th House is often like supporting, um, undermined groups.
Interesting.
can be some health stuff can live [00:51:00] there, but it's like the 12th house is the womb. WOMB. It's
endings and beginnings. It's the ending of seeing ourselves as separate humans in the beginning of seeing ourselves as this like one united energetic, spiritual, like ocean basically. And of
course, but des a, is Desi a Pisces or he's a Capricorn Sun though, isn't he?
On, and he's an Aries rising, so he's got some, like, he's got some, you know, something to balance it out. But
A lot of water. Like those are like the banks of the river, but there's a lot of water
air is a lot of water. And so, and the, the, the thing that was this Aha was that I was like, oh, it just seeing that I was like, oh, my kid is getting totally overwhelmed and like sensory overload at school because he does not know the difference between what his classroom is feeling and what he is feeling. I just, I had like some vague awareness of that, but something about that, like clicked it in. And so then I had this whole chat with him where I was like, Hey buddy, you know how you [00:52:00] walk into a room and you know what everybody's feeling? And he was like, yeah, of course. I was like, rattling off. And I was like, so that's actually not what everyone else experiences.
Like, and, and, and it was this, it was a really cool moment anyway, and also amusing. Um, and, but that's the thing that I love about astrology when I do love it, is like the clarity of like, oh, that's why this is happening. And then it gave us like tools and a conversation about like boundaries and what's yours and what's theirs.
Which, you know why I already talked to him about being a people pleaser and codependency. Like there's other ways we could have that conversation. But I, I liked that lens,
I think you bring up a great point of you, you know, your interest with astrology and how it was such a beautiful tool for talking to Desi and different language and framework, like that's astrology at its best and really highlights, like astrology gets to be fun. Astrology gets to be a thing that you look up to better understand your kid or your partner or yourself, or your new boss or whatever you want.
Like you can pull a [00:53:00] chart for your business. You can, you know, give your business a, a big three, a sun, moon rising by. By looking at the chart and playing with her that way. Um, but I think people have gone too far, right? Like astrology gets to be fun, gets to be something that you play with and pick out of your hat.
And also there was a little bit of a course correct of like, no, this is a really transformative and powerful practice and modality and can really change people's lives, which is true. And I think the current state of astrology, at least on like a pop astrology level or like mainstream social media astrology is like we've pushed so far to the, like, this is life changing and you have to run your whole life around it.
And. Like people are giving their power up to it. And I would love if we lived in more of a happy medium space where it's like, no, I co-create with the stars when I want to. When I lean in. Like I don't have like, yes, I am a practicing [00:54:00] astrologer, but no, I'm pretty anti astrology apps. Like I don't wanna be your friend on CoStar.
I don't think you need to be on CoStar. You know, like, I don't think you need to care what the zodiac sign of the person is that you're meeting for a first date. Is it helpful to know my fiance's chart and just like energies that make him him per astrology? Yes, of course. But again, like astrology gets to be fun.
Any energy modality, any self-care modality? Any personal growth tool? I think we've like, I think we've lost the plot. You know, like I think
people have forgotten we're doing these things. To better ourselves to learn to have a good time. Like I don't think on my deathbed I'm gonna be referencing or thinking about or giving a shit, frankly about like my professional development tools or my personal development tools.
I'm gonna be telling the people who I love that I love them. You know what I mean? Like
Mm-hmm.
I there, I just, I think we've just [00:55:00] gone too far.
Yeah. I mean, I think that's such a, an important conversation, not just about astrology, but about out outsourcing our, our outsourcing, our power, which I think is what you're really talking about. I do wanna say, I still remember something that you said to us on the podcast the first time you were on, which was like, what, three years ago now?
And it really stuck with me, which was that like, you were like astrology, how did you say it? Like astrology just helps you know that, or how I took it, it helps me know that I make sense. And that was like, do you remember saying that? Anyway, that really stuck with me because I'm like, that's actually how I experience it in a way that's really helpful.
But what you're really speaking to about is something that happens in astrology and all modalities is like when it, when we are outsourcing our power and when it's making us feel, uh, like compressed rather than expanded. So, and it's just interesting because I think. I mean, you could even like teach a course on how to engage with these things in a healthy way.
Because really what I'm, what I see so much of on social media and in [00:56:00] pop spirituality is a lot of like the big astrology people are kind of creating that scarcity, 1000 yeah, whip percent. Like I could
have a dance party right now about this. Like
Yeah. Uhhuh,
it's like, I'm like, no wonder I feel freaked out. It's because like what? The way that I'm engaged, the, the content that I'm engaging with, it's the kind of content that's like, you gotta do this now, you know?
Yeah. Well, they're freaking you out. It's. Click bait.
It's marketing like I've
done it too. Everybody does it right? Like we also, it, this is my opinion, but like with social media and all that stuff, it's like we've been taught that there's a certain way that you communicate to grab somebody's attention because our attention spans are less than that of a goldfish at this point.
You know, like I don't think, I think it's a lot of factors that contribute to it, but you are exactly right. Like
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
it just, I had the random thought, like, um, I dabble in [00:57:00] tarot 'cause it's like fun. Um, but I like, I know people who will like, pull a card in the morning, like a card for, for the day and it's like, I would love to invite people, like pull a card at the end of the day, pull a card is like, how can I energetically police the day that I just had? Like, or what energetic context can I through view my day through the lens of like, that's what I would love to see people start to use modalities. That deal with the numerous and the ethereal and the energetics in that way because we're all in a human body for a reason,
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
You know, one of the things that I'm like loving about everything you're saying too, is it's making me think of that line. Like you don't do your healing to handle the trauma you heal so that you can experience joy and like when. Our relationship to astrology is like another set of rules. And [00:58:00] when tarot is predictive and when like, healing is just this, like infinite, you know, march of money blocks that I need to discover, unearth the next one, all of that becomes like a, a a prison to maintain, right?
Instead of the actual like generative relief so that we can experience pleasure and love the people in our life and soak up the goodness of it. Um, I just appreciate you bringing us back to that place because that is that to your point, we're all in a human body and on some level, like I wanna choose, I choose to believe and I want to continue to choose to believe that my, I'm here to experience pleasure. So how can I let a lot, how can I have a life and have tools in that life that support me experiencing pleasure?
Everyone in case. Um, yeah, hundred percent.
Be so proud of me. I [00:59:00] really am in my tourist queen era, like every day lately, I go for a walk in the woods and I like lay on the pine needles and look up at the trees like we are in full tourist queen mode.
I
fucking Love it. I love that for you.
I'm proud of you that you're like fully in it. Um, I just, helped. You helped my friend
Yeah. When you said that, I was like, wait, we have to remind everyone that Kyley's a TAUs. Um, but what I, but to your point, like what I just thought of, so this is gonna come out of left field for our conversation, but I am getting my, I'm like super into health and wellness and, and all the things as a human being and, um, spiritual and energetic wellness is obviously a part of that, but I am getting my certified nutrition practitioner degree mainly for me.
Like I flip and love it, but so for like all the things, but so I bring it up to say it's in functional medicine, they often talk about, they mainly talk about that our body is like all interconnected, right? That, that instead of viewing [01:00:00] our body as different systems and parts and organs, like let's look at the whole, and then the more I learn about the body, it really, to me, I'm like, God, this is like a beautiful symphony.
Like the body is so wise and they like. Functions and like keeps us alive and does all these things. It makes me think like for our larger, like astrological conversation today, or just like energetic conversation today, like we are part of an interconnected system. Like we are part of something bigger.
And I think the mistake that is being made is that we're taking ourselves out of the system, right? Like, we're like, oh, like let me learn from the energy of reiki or let me learn from the planets, or blah, blah, blah. Like, I don't know anything. Let, let me let it tell me and we're forgetting. No, no, no. Like we are a coherent communicating system. Everything is connected. And so when we take ourselves out of that connection by giving the power to the modality to the thing, [01:01:00] we break it. I've never thought about it in that way before and it really just clicked. So thank you from this conversation, but it's like we are a part of something bigger. If we take ourselves out of it, we are not a part of anything.
Yeah. And that it actually, it functions because we are a part of it, like for us in our way. Yeah. I mean, that was a mic jock moment. I like, I really heard that it was like, oh yeah, that's the issue. It's like, it, it's not gonna function the way it's supposed to function. When we take our, when we take ourselves out of it, we are, we, it, it works best when arc.
Yes. Yeah. Mm-hmm. I think that's
really beautiful.
I was at dinner with a friend of mine last night and her husband is reading a book about systems. Unfortunately, I can't quote the book here, but I can get it if you guys want and put in the show notes,
but
No, we probably won't put in the show Kyley and I are so bad at that. People are like, we'll put in the show notes, and we never actually do
So anyways, this book that her husband is reading about systems and in the book it shared that, you know, we [01:02:00] think, oh, we stand barefoot in the ground or we lay on the pine needles and we get something from the earth. But what this book shared is that we get something from the earth, but the earth gets something from us. So Eva, I feel like you just spoke to that, right? Like we actually are part of the magic. Like we can't, there is no magic if there's no us. If there's no you, if there's no being a human. Like another fun fact about me, everyone, like I have gotten really into football so random and I'm
really into,
that.
oh yeah, don't you love that for me? Um, and I'm really into fantasy football and I made a back,
more sense somehow, actually.
well, okay, I did play division one lacrosse. I never talk about it, but like I am a division one
You're very competitive. Yeah. Right.
so like, so all of which is say my inner athlete has been reawakened, but like my favorite part I think about like fantasy football and football and like paying attention to the news on ESPN and like [01:03:00] reading articles about the flipping NFL draft is that it has nothing to do with energy or spirituality or personal gr It's just like, it's something that is so different from my usual shtick and also something that I just feel is so human, you know, like that it just grounds me back in like a, yeah, like this is fun.
Like, like I'm in a
Yes.
It's pretty cool. Like I get to smell the lilac and like eat chocolate and like do all these things. It's very torn of me to say during tourist season as we record this, but like. We are part of the magic. If we take ourselves out of it. There is no magic. Stop giving your power away to tools that are trying to remind you of your power in the first place.
Yes, yes,
yes.
Period.
making me think about the like re reoccurring joke. Like, my life got much better when I stopped, uh, reading self-help books and started reading fairy smut, [01:04:00] right? It's like the, the, the, the goal is to be human and to have that be fun. So,
Yeah. Romantic forever. Have
a thousand percent.
Oh,
Silver?
have I read what?
Click Silver?
No.
I hear it's really good. I have it in my library queue. Um, I'll let you know how it's,
I'm adding it. I'm adding it to the list. I'm adding it to the list.
yeah, it's.
This feels, as we discussed, like pleasure and joy and fun. Uh, this feels like a good moment to do a round of joy. But before we do Joy, Sofia, can people find you and what is the, like, snappiest point of entry, right? If they're like, yes, I need more.
Sofia, what do you, what do you want them to buy for you?
Love it. Just like, um, you can find me on Instagram at Sofia Adler underscore. I spell my name with an F, not a PH. You can find me on Substack. [01:05:00] My substack is called Spiritually Curious and I announce everything there. So being a Substack follower is one super helpful and helps thread the word and two, where you'll get all the info. Um, and easiest way to buy from me book an emotion code bundle. It's a lower price point. Super fun. Get to see what energy can do for you without the story. And I offer astrology readings. You can get all that on my website and also you can DM me to say hi. I'm nice, I swear
It's true,
Sy goodnight.
That's our favorite combination right there.
yes.
Great. That's right.
Okay. Amazing. Amazing. And also, I will give a plug. You're writing your substack is beautiful. I love when
Oh, thank you.
the, the, the, the writing you're doing there is really beautiful. So let, we'll let you go first since you're our guest of honor, what's bringing you joy?
The warmer weather and the lilacs. Oh. Oh. And this is, this is my mega joy. [01:06:00] Um, I planted cosmos last year. Cosmos are a type of flour and they reseed and I. I didn't know that I was like supposed to water things through the winter. I thought that roots freeze. I'm originally from New York City. I'm learning how to be a garden girly, but I started watering this pot that the cosmos had been in and I was like, I think this is just an empty dry pot of dirt.
I already have 20 little sprouts that are shooting up. All they needed was a little water after one watering. I was
like, it feels like a metaphor for life. Like
Just gonna say.
I,
thought it was all dead and done and like dry dirt and actually there was like abundance. I just had to freaking water it and just a
little, just once. It's so joyful.
It is. I that's like, nature is so inspiring in that way. You know? I always think it's like, it just, it wants to move towards life, and if you just give it a chance, it'll move towards life. And I'm like, you are amazing. You're able to do amazing things. I, yeah. I love that. I have to look this up. [01:07:00] What a cool name for a flower cosmos.
Okay.
probably seen them before, honestly. But
definitely I love them.
And it's pretty cool that you can plant a flower once and then it keeps coming back because flowers every year add up. And when you're like me where you've got bunnies and mice. When the bunnies and mice eat all your flowers, it's pretty nice to not have,
No, they'll
come back. Yeah.
How about you?
you're in, New, New Mexico. You've got just, ugh, sorry. I just love the desert landscape in foliage, so
it's pretty magic. It's like the wild It's definitely the wild west out here though, I'll tell you
that.
so magic. Okay. My joy this week is, um, okay, so it's two things really. I think it's a theme of stories. So my friend got me onto this podcast. Do you guys know Armchair Anonymous?
Have you guys heard of it? It's like a really popular podcast. I know, I know of it, but I've never listened to it. So there's like a, there's an adjacent podcast called Armchair. Oh no. [01:08:00] Armchair Expert is a really, is the really famous one. Armchair Anonymous is the, is the, is like the side one where it's just listeners calling in and telling their stories about specific themes.
There's a lot of poop episodes, which, you know, I love about like public, public evacuation time. You shoot your pants, sitting at the gym, whatever people will just call in with their stories. I am so fully fucking obsessed. Like it was one of those things where she was like, you're gonna listen to a few, it's gonna take a while.
But she's like, be careful. She warned me. She was like, once you start listening, you will not be able to stop and. So I love getting really into something, you know what I mean? Like Kyley, you were talking recently about getting really into a book. So I'm just like so into this podcast and I just love people's stories.
And we also are ha we have this tradition at the dinner table where we'll all tell stories now. 'cause I have dinner with two little girls oftentimes and they're always like, tell us a story, tell us a story. And we're just all just like, and they can be like the stu dumbest stories. Like usually it's something also poop is often involved.
But you know, when we're from like when we're like little kids and I think I'm just really [01:09:00] appreciating the craft of a story. It really reminds me of like, oh, this is what we did back in the day. We like gathered around the fire. I think humans love stories. I think this is why we love television. It's like that's really what television is.
It's, it's, this is why we love movies. It's like, it goes back to this ancient part of us that is really moved by just the telling of a story. And I also think it's an art form to tell a story. And I'm terrible at it and I've always wanted to get better at it. So telling stories at the dinner table is like a little entry point into like developing that skill.
So it's really, it's been really sweet and really cute. Yeah.
I
And I highly recommend Armchair Anonymous if you just wanna laugh. Like there have been moments where I've just been like,
Oh, I want that.
like, like you know where your side is just hurting so much and just like causing a ruckus and just shaking the whole house.
It's so funny.
Oh, okay. Well
So good.
really great. That
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
um.
listen to the period one, if [01:10:00] you guys go listen to that. It's stories about women calling in about their periods.
I definitely wanna
It's good. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Kyley, what's something that's bringing you joy?
There Are so many things bringing me joy, but specifically I wanna talk about this lunch that I went to yesterday. I. A client of mine like had this big celebration and so she brought a bunch of women that she knows together in this room, and most of the women in this room had only met through the internet.
And so there was like a lot of people who were meeting for the first time, but there was also a lot of people who did know each other through this. Uh, networking group. The group is called Boston Business Women. It's this really beautiful online community. Um, uh, and so there were people who knew each other, but only through the internet, and there were some people who'd never met before.
And what I watched happen is a thing that I think women in particular do really fucking well, which was that this room full of heart led women who have dreams bigger than they believe in, because I think that's part of what being like a woman and a visionary and a leader is, is like you always have a dream that's a little bit [01:11:00] bigger than what you totally, fully believe in.
And every single woman in the room was basically just walking around being like, I like you, I think you're cool. And there was this way that I could feel everybody like standing up taller and like believing in their own dream a little bit more. And it wasn't a networking thing, it was just like, it was really just come and have fun and have lunch together. But that was the organic outcome was all of the, I just felt it. I felt all these people. Believing in what was possible in a way that like siloed in their home office, they didn't have the same access to, but like in a lunch date, they just got to hold up the mirror and just be like, yeah, of course you're amazing.
And of course you're gonna have like, you know, all the success in the world. And then also in offering that to the other women, I could feel them receiving it for themselves more. And so I think my joy is just like, women are really fucking great. And um, [01:12:00] and, and I just really felt the, the gift that it is to be the kind of woman in the world who's willing to have a dream that she doesn't know if she can believe in and be, oh, I'm getting teared up and like. Wow, I didn't see that coming. Being willing to be the kind of world who has a dream that's bigger than you fully, like, you know, these shoes might be too big, but I'm gonna walk in them anyway, is just such a courageous and beautiful thing. Um, and then to be with and then to, and then to be the kind of woman who also holds up the mirror to say like, yeah, of course you're gonna, of course you're gonna, of course you feel fit.
Those shoes is just a really cool thing. So women,
And
joy.
That's a, that's a damn good one, I think.
Yeah.
Also that really, I did not expect the tears. That really surprised me, everybody. But there we are.
Yeah. Well, this is awesome. It was so [01:13:00] nice to have you back, Sofia, thank you so much for being here.
Thank you so much for having me back. It was so fun. So
great to see you guys and. I get into all the juicy things as always.