This week we dive into joyous connection with our ancestors and the inexplicable magic of family constellation therapy with Meenadchi.
This week we dive into joyous connection with our ancestors and the inexplicable magic of family therapy systems with Meenadchi.
https://www.meenadchi.com/
https://www.instagram.com/with.meenadchi/
www.traumainformednvc.com
Loving Ourselves Into Power Course- Early bird pricing until 6/8
Eva's instagram: @iamevaliao
Book a discovery call with Eva
Kyley's Instagram: @kyleycaldwell
Kyley's free mini-course
Eva: [00:00:00] Hi, Meenadchi. Welcome to Hello, Universe. We're so excited to have you.
Meenadchi: Hi, thanks.
Eva: So as you know, the question we like to start off with is what is life teaching you at the moment?
Meenadchi: The answer is, uh, I'll start with what life is teaching me through. And it, life is teaching me through the channel of loneliness, but like all the things that come on the other side of that, like sovereignty and stillness and self cultivation, like when you can grow something within yourself. [00:01:00] And I think about like the differences between like isolation and solitude.
And loneliness kind of like sits in, in, in both quadrants, but yeah, through loneliness, life is teaching me how to be more connected to others.
Eva: Wait, I have to ask more about this because I think loneliness is a really interesting feeling. It's kind of, I think it can be devastating, but it can also be, um, I've experienced it to be oddly painful. beautiful and profound at times, because I think emotions can be, you know, can have all the different flavors.
But can I ask when you feel loneliness? Like, when do you feel lonely? So what causes what's causing loneliness for you?
Meenadchi: So I think that most of the people who I'm like deeply connected to are not actually in my physical environment. They are far away. They are people that I see on phone calls and FaceTimes and everything. So a lot of the energy in my [00:02:00] day to day, like when I'm just like walking around my apartment or going to the grocery store is sort of alone.
And so, um, yeah, so that it, it feels like a, a type of undercurrent that is.
Eva: And do you work from home as well? Yeah. Okay. So can you describe Kylie and I have had the same conversation. Like, cause you know, we've been doing this podcast for four years now, Kylie, and we've never been in the same city. So many of our friends, we talk about how we don't ever get to see their feet or their legs.
We don't know what they look like. Cause everything's just like from the waist
Kyley: when Eva did come to Boston, her 1st thing that she did when she got off the bus from the airport was to hug my legs. I will never forget, just got off the plane, the bus and immediately hugged my leg.
Eva: I'm like, I never get to see this part of you, you
Kyley: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Continue with your story. I just couldn't pass up that anecdote.[00:03:00]
Eva: I just think that's very relatable. I guess that's just what I want to say. And, um, I think it's a little bit of the culture of our time. You know, especially as more people work from home. So I just, I so appreciate you being so transparent about that and speaking to how that can, how we can feel lonely, even though we are connected, um, online and in other ways.
Yeah.
Kyley: I have so many, I'm like, Oh, I'm jazzed about this loneliness topic. If listeners listened to the last two episodes, they know I've got a broken heart, which is a great way to experience loneliness. But um, I. been thinking about this topic a lot also because, so I just turned 39 a couple weeks ago and my husband threw a surprise quote unquote surprise party.
I have little kids, so no one could keep the surprise. It was the most, it was the sweetest thing ever. And, and, I'm friends there that I was truly surprised to see because people I haven't seen in [00:04:00] years and years and years because of COVID and motherhood and, um, and, and I, I mean, I almost knocked my friend Allie down the stairs when I saw her. And it was a really, really beautiful experience. Part of what I was watching.
So I really love the spectrum of like isolation, loneliness, and solitude, and like what they're how they're different flavors and where we might be sitting. Because one of the things that I was. I think we can make loneliness mean that we are isolated and therefore act in a way that perpetuates this feeling of being alone.
And one of the gifts of this birthday party was, you are not far away from these people that love you, even though you haven't seen them, right? Like, like time collapsed when I was hugging these people and this feeling of like, I have been walking around with some loneliness, community related loneliness things for a while now that was in part stories of.
How do I [00:05:00] put this into words? Like I was making the separation mean something, right? I was making like distance mean something and therefore acting out of like story, right, or debt or indebtedness or, or whatever. And, um, and, and so I love this distinction that what's percolating for me is like, what happens if we are experiencing loneliness and how does that slip into isolation, which kind of reinforces a very painful version of loneliness versus.
How, what I'm also hearing you offer is like, how can we let our loneliness kind of like, almost like spill our own cup forward towards what we are longing for. I don't know if what I'm saying even makes sense or if I'm being way too esoteric.
Meenadchi: I'm gonna do something really quick. I'm like a word nerd.
Kyley: Oh, great. I love it.
Meenadchi: And I have never so I'm going to look at the etymology of some of these words that we're talking about. Okay, let's see.
Eva: I love a word nerd. Like you can learn so much by [00:06:00] etymology.
Meenadchi: Okay, y'all this is gonna blow your mind. This is gonna blow your mind. The etymology, so lonely comes from the word alone. And the etymology of alone, uh, is the, the two stems all and one
Eva: Oh, wow. Wow. That's really beautiful.
Meenadchi: it's so different.
Eva: all in one. I don't know what to make of that.
Kyley: I have so many things that are exploding.
Eva: Go, go, go.
Kyley: Okay. So I've been on this loneliness journey in different durations, right? Separation and confusion around identity and community with COVID and motherhood plus a pretty intense heartbreak over the past six months. And one of my reoccurring fears as someone with an abandonment wound is.
Like this deep anxiety of being [00:07:00] alone and the consistent spiritual experience of, you are, because you are everything. Right. And this real persistent anxiety that I have, that's like surrender, let go. You're not in charge. And then I'm like, but then I'm alone. Right. Basically that's what it constantly comes back to say, but I don't want to be alone.
And Because spirit doesn't necessarily go easy on me these days. It's like, but you are right, but no, but, but it's this, it's this, you are all one, right. In, in, in being alone, that is not isolation in being alone. That is all one, like this, one, uh, like self fulfillment that allows, Intimacy and connectivity. Um, but I know it's, I love that the etymology, I'm like kind of geeking out. The etymology is pointing to this like very friction, right? Which is like, I don't want to be alone. And the answer is, but you [00:08:00] are, but also that's where that's where connection lives. It was like fully surrendering to, um, I don't know.
I'm sorry. I feel like I'm not being very articulate. Cause you're hitting me with real time magic and it's not fully baked, but it feels really delicious.
Eva: Well, I, I do think that there is something about, I've asked a lot of my spiritual teachers who I think have spent a lot of time. I just noticed it just seems like they're, they're able to spend a lot of time alone. And I don't know, it always seems like, I don't know, I'm not, I don't know if this is gonna make sense to there's a sense of like, they're alone, but they're also not alone, because there's like a greater connection to all that is.
And it's not intellectual for them. It's like a lived experience.
Kyley: Yeah.
Eva: also think that for them, this is a bit of a separate point, but because I've asked, you know, I've asked these people who have spent [00:09:00] years in monasteries, or they live in nature by themselves. And it's like, There's also a sense of they feel they are alone, but they're not lonely for some of these, these folks too, which is Yeah, I think an interesting balance. Anyway. Mm-Hmm?
Meenadchi: Two things kind of touching on this one is just this piece. Like one of the things that I've learned from my teachers is that, um, Even our teachers go through the same ups and downs as we do. You know what I mean? Like they, and, and like, I think all of us who are facilitators can attest that when we're holding space for somebody else, we're able to tap into something greater to be able to model something.
But that also, when we're regular people, we like crash like regular people. Um, and then, I have the taste of blueberries in my mouth because Kylie, when you were talking about like [00:10:00] baking, I was like, Oh my gosh, we're in great British bake off and we're all in this tent, like baking muffins for loneliness.
Kyley: Yes. the name of the episode, baking muffins for loneliness. Oh, yes. I also love the Great British baking break because it's like, we're, we're cheering each other on. Right. We're on each of our own station, but like, you know, it's not an American show. We're not going to like stab you in the back. um, I'm curious if you, you kind of hinted at this, but I'm curious if you experience, um, if you have moments where you experienced the richness of loneliness, becoming the portal into the thing you are longing for, right? You know, that experience sometimes where Um, I guess what I'm trying to ask is what is it, what does it look like for you [00:11:00] what does it feel like? Or what is it? What is, what is the walk for you when the loneliness pops you into or gives you access to you said sovereignty or self cultivation?
Meenadchi: I don't know that I'm that good with my loneliness journey. Like I, on Tik TOK far, far longer than I need to be.
Kyley: Oh, I understand, but it's literally my spirit crew last night was like, you think this is good? How many more weeks are you going to do this? You want to take a break? No. Nope.
Meenadchi: but I will say that when I feel sort of tapped in, tuned in, turned on, uh, I think what I feel the most is like connection with my integrity. And a sense of ease with making decisions, like I'm not making decisions out of the urgency for, you know, we all make, we all have connections in our lives that don't [00:12:00] 100 percent service, but they fill a gap for a little bit of time.
And when I, when I feel like I'm hitting something in the, in the right way or the good way or whatever, it's easier not to make those decisions.
Eva: Mm-Hmm. Mm-Hmm.
Kyley: I'll, uh, Tik Tok scrolling or, um, yeah, Eva offered me something really beautiful a couple of weeks ago. I think we were offline, but I was talking about the doom scroll and, or maybe it was anyways, I was talking about my like phone habit and, and Eva said, you said something about like, essentially, What if it was fine that you were on your phone too much?
And immediately, like, I mean, actually immediately I was like, no, it's not fine. It can't be fine. And then like the next day I was like, oh yeah, if this was fine immediately, I would use, I would probably actually use my phone like 10 percent less.[00:13:00]
Eva: Mm-Hmm.
Kyley: Just in the, like seeing you in the, I don't know if I'm good at loneliness thing and yeah, cause who is, yeah,
Eva: Who is good at loneliness? I think it's an interesting question because Kylie and I have also had this conversation a lot, like I love being alone a lot, which isn't to say that I haven't gotten lonely. But, um, I, but I do think that kind of what you're speaking to Kylie is that loneliness can be a portal into something, essentially finding ourselves in some way, which is what I hear you speak to Meenatchi.
But there's also, I think it goes both ways. It's like we find ourselves in some way, we give ourselves what we need in some way. We're clear in some way. There's maybe some independence, like really beautiful things can come out of that. And then there's also part of us that needs to just reach out and really build, build Connection to, so there's like an inward [00:14:00] tending and also an outward and an outward tending.
And I think it's good to come at it from all angles
Kyley: That's where I get caught up because I. Can be, I am, I skew, I'm like, I skew extrovert. Like I'm in the middle of the scale these days, but I skew extrovert, but I get isolationist when I'm, when I'm down. Right. I'm like in my, you know, quote unquote, ugliness. I just make my circle really small. So I, I let a few people know, I let a few people in, but I make the circle small and then the isolation, the loneliness, like really feed each other in this kind of vicious cycle.
Um, and so one of my. Practices increasingly has been being out and messy more often.
Eva: out. And I love that.
Kyley: Yeah.
Eva: Yeah. Yeah. I got to work on that too. Out and messy.
Kyley: It's a funky thing. This human shit.
Eva: Oh, I mean [00:15:00] that's putting it lightly
Kyley: Yeah.
Eva: anyway. How do you guys feel about switching gears?
So where would you like to start Minachi? We can talk about internal, what is it? Internal family systems, right? Is that what's going on?
Meenadchi: it's, it's very
Eva: Oh, family constellation.
Sorry. Family constellation, which is one thing that I'm very interested in. I just got to get the name right. And also talking about how ancestral healing can be fun. Those are things that you, I think some of your magic and your expertise lies there.
Meenadchi: Yeah. I don't have a strong, I might start with the latter. Yeah. Let me start with the latter. Um, do you want me to just dive in to talking about that?
Kyley: Yeah. Like, how do you, here's my kind of cute question is how do you experience. working with your ancestors.
Meenadchi: Yeah. Okay. So I think that like, so I am a somatic healing practitioner and I work with family constellation therapy, which is this modality for clearing [00:16:00] ancestral intergenerational trauma from the body. So I always say there's different types of practices and there's different types of practitioners.
So in any of the work you want to do, you have to find the person who's like vibe is right for you. Um, I operate from the premise that, um, that, that when we clear trauma from the system, whether it's our own nervous system, the collective nervous system, whatever, that when the trauma is cleared, what will be present is love.
That like love will always be flowing forward. Love will always be available, positive energy, et cetera. And when I do ancestral healing work, it's not the same as like, there's practitioners who can like tap in and sort of like channel or mediumship, you know what I mean? Like, and, and speak with ancestors in that way.
That isn't what I do. That isn't what family constellation therapy is. What family constellation therapy is, is really looking at your nervous system and identifying, where am I carrying other people's [00:17:00] baggage? And how am I holding? Other people's limiting beliefs and trauma gunk in my body and my nervous system.
And how is that negatively affecting my ability to create the life I want? And the thing that I love about that is that it is woo, but it's also like, um, It's one of the reasons I think that constellation work can work, even if you're adopted or you don't know your family or don't like your family. None of that shit matters because we're just working the energy in your body.
And then in terms of it being like fun and playful, like, yes, people are carrying heavy things and people often don't want to look at it because they're afraid of like, you know, the Pandora's box of what's going to spill out and what am I going to have to hold.
Eva: Yeah. Or, or we have the story of like, Oh, it's hard. Like, and not, they're not afraid necessarily, but like, you know, I can do hard things. So let's make this hard. Like, uh, [00:18:00] like, like it's an uphill slog and I'm very anti that story.
Meenadchi: yeah. And I think because I am a practitioner. I think of myself as a mischief maker. And so, you know, the ancestors don't want you holding their shit. They really don't. And so once you get into it, like, the information that the ancestors pour forward is like, Stop doing it. Like, why? Like, have a Snickers bar.
Like, have some candy. Like, chill out. Like,
Eva: Oh, interesting. That's I've never heard that before. I always had the assumption that like, based on nothing, but just based on the fact that like, Oh, I just assumed, of course my ancestors want me to carry this forward. But now that I'm saying that out loud, I'm like, Oh, no, no, no. Yeah. They want me to be free.
Kyley: of your wild woman dragon writing ancestors are like, what? I've been, I've been, I've been delivering a pox sprinkling of messages from Eva's ancestors recently. And they are
Eva: they're all wild haired.
Kyley: like all gray [00:19:00] hair is wild and flowing. They're all piled on one very long dragon. But then sometimes they're, there's a couple there.
They are, they are uninhibited, my friend. They don't want you carrying
Eva: okay, good to know. Good to know. Awesome.
Meenadchi: And the reverse is also true. Like I've had clients like who are coming from lineages where their ancestors, their ancestors were holding trauma and stuff. And so their ancestors really did kind of like. Fuck up in terms of the quality of care that was provided. And so again, in the work, I'll have clients just say to their ancestors, you really fuck shit up for me and their ancestors will be like 100 percent we did and we are so sorry.
We are, we are here for that acknowledgement we are here for that accountability, we will take it all back.
Kyley: Yes.
Meenadchi: Yeah. And so then that also creates a quality of lightness of like, okay, like everything's out on the table. We're talking about it. Um, we're eating some cookies while we talk about it and like, you know, having some like fresh lemonade or whatever.
Um, and it just [00:20:00] becomes easy.
Kyley: And I love what you're, I had a really powerful moment a couple of years ago of my, my grandmother essentially like apologizing for some things that I was carrying. I mean, I could, I could kind of tear up right now just thinking about it. It was like, it was this really intimate moment. My grandmother's past for context.
Um, and, and it was just, it was a moment where I didn't even realize that I was carrying I didn't even realize how much I didn't know. I didn't have to carry it, know, and so, uh,
Eva: Totally.
Kyley: right. Like, uh, which is the gift of a good apology. Um, but I'm I'm also I'm struck by what you're what you're offering here, which is like, Your ancestor works, a conversation, it's a relationship, right? It's not necessarily like a reverence, though.
I think we can be in reverence certainly, or in like gratitude, but [00:21:00] it's a relationship in which you get to say like, take this back or I'm not, this isn't fun anyway. Like, you know, uh, I think sometimes when it comes to either deity work or ancestor work, we sometimes feel beholden to the path without agency.
Which is not the same thing as controlling the path. Right. But there's something I think really powerful about almost like renegotiating the terms, not necessarily in a contractual way, but just like, um, speaking what it is you want and need and, and asking for help or pushing back in relationship. Right.
I, I personally, I, In my deity practice, I've had some, something, some really profound experiences that over this breakup of just like, no, enough, everybody get your shit together. I need a break. This is hard. I don't want any more hard for like at least a week. Right. Um, and [00:22:00] that being met with like a lot of reverence from my deities and ancestors.
It's like, yeah, good job. Thanks for finally setting a boundary. You know, what are we even trying to teach you all this time? So anyway, I'm, I'm, I, I am loving your invitation to. Like be in deep relationship. Yeah,
Meenadchi: upon like cultural aspects of your upbringing. You know what I mean? Like, I was raised in a particular way, which I don't know that my unnecessarily intended for like my, unless my mother, but she gave me a name that let me know that I was an incarnation of the divine.
And then the things that I grew up. reading related to like spirituality and stuff like that. We're always very, very playful, very, very tongue in cheek, like relationship with the divine and relationship with lineage was not something that was meant to be. Um, uh, it's precious as in it's something to be cared for, but [00:23:00] it's not so precious.
Yeah.
Eva: That sucks all the life out of it. You can be sacred, but a lot of sacred things are also like really, really bad. Fucking funny or silly or, uh, beautiful and childlike.
Meenadchi: yeah,
Kyley: yeah, yeah. I mean, this is like a detour from ancestry, but, um, I grew up Catholic. So, you know, like you're sitting there kneeling, standing repeat after me. There's a dead guy hanging on the ceiling. Like it's a little bleak, right. And it's been, it's been so. I love how irreverent my spirituality is now, right?
That like, like, if one deity in particular, I'm like, you fucking asshole, stop, right? And, and I say that with like, such love in the same way that I would say to my brother, if he was being a pain in the ass, right? And, and, um, [00:24:00] which doesn't mean that everyone has to follow that script, but I find such joy in it.
Like moments of, you know, just last week I was like in tears and awe over this experience of connecting with some aspect of, of the divine. And then like the next day I was like cracking up and telling one of my deities he was a pain in the butt. Like, and, and, and I think the, the, the richness that gets to happen when it's not a script and when it's not like this, when it just doesn't have to be so serious. Right. And the other thing I'm thinking of Ancestor is like, I mean, I come from a really big family. My mom's one of 10. Eve, I know your family's really big too. It's like, everyone's all together. Everyone's making fun of each other. Someone's drank too much. Like, really, like it is, I mean, it's, it, it can be really fun.
It's not, you know, the best moments with your family is when it's fun. And so what I'm receiving from you is, Like, why wouldn't we want our [00:25:00] ancestor practice to have some of that aspect
Eva: Mm hmm. That's a really good reminder for me. I think because I can sometimes think this work does feel like it needs to be so heavy, but I was also going to say, it's really fun. I also, that's why I love irreverence, irreverence is so good to me because so much of my spiritual practices, everything is allowed, like, and I'm talking like, Everything like there, you know, there's a question of like, do you believe that everything can be laughed at?
Eventually? Like, can everything be turned into a joke? And there are some things that I like creep up on. I'm like, Oh, I don't know if I can joke about that, but I actually think I would like my answer to be yes, because I do think that you can joke about everything. Like to be able to laugh at everything, even the bleakest, darkest, most tragic, like fucking things that I've seen.
Yeah. People do that too, where, where someone's sharing something really deep and personal and [00:26:00] vulnerable. And then I've seen my teachers go in and just like, just like without blinking an eye, like make a joke about it. And they can just be so direct about it. And in those moments, it's fucking hilarious when you know that it's not serious.
Like that to me is. Really good medicine.
Meenadchi: It's great medicine. I'm reminded of something one of my friends, Elizabeth, taught me very, very young, where she was like, the best teachers are the ones who laugh
Kyley: to it?
Meenadchi: all the time. And also that like there's a difference between like laughing to escape and laughing because something, you know, because we can play with it.
And the thing about play. Is when we're playing it means all of our faculties are turned on like we're wholeheartedly open We're creative we can pivot and we also have like a sense of belonging like goofiness Like we're not afraid of being vulnerable And so that play state is also a really good indicator of like how well are we healing?
[00:27:00] How good is this going?
Kyley: Yeah. I was, I, in one of my TikTok doodles, I saw something the other day that was that pointed out that is the, like the opposite of trauma response. Right. And, and so do you use something really beautiful that I wrote down when trauma is cleared, What is present is love. And so I'm also like slotting play in as like, play is love.
Right. Uh, and, uh, yeah, I really, I'm really relishing. I'm really relishing that.
Eva: Okay, time out for a second, y'all, before we move on. Meenatchi, can you like tap on your mic or check? Yeah, I had a feeling. I don't think it's,
Meenadchi: Oh, it went off.
Eva: yeah, it's not picking up because I thought there was a, yeah, it sounded like there was like, sounded like it was clear earlier. And then at one point it sounded like really echoey, but if it doesn't work, it's fine because we've already, it's already been off for quite some time, actually.
Meenadchi: Okay,
Eva: [00:28:00] So,
Meenadchi: for that.
Eva: you know, but that way, that way you don't have to like hold it. And then we can just have our editor, maybe,
Meenadchi: I'll switch in on to this.
Kyley: Oh, yeah. That's great.
Eva: yeah, that's great. Okay, cool. I have to ask about,
Kyley: Oh, no, you've got a question. Go, go,
Eva: I was going to ask about family constellation, but did you have something related?
Kyley: I have something still about ancestors,
Eva: cool.
Kyley: So could you give us a little bit more. About how we might have play in our ancestor work, like how you would invite someone else to develop a playful ancestor practice.
Meenadchi: I don't know that I okay how to develop a playful ancestor
Kyley: I mean, you can take that question in whatever way
Meenadchi: Yeah, yeah. I think some of it kind of like comes back to, I think, first, just like, um, like foundational beliefs. You know what I mean? Like, uh, I think that I think that that idea of like a playful ancestor practice is not accessible for some people at first, because they just haven't had that sort of [00:29:00] like.
exposure. Again, I grew up in a culture where like, when I moved into my last apartment, I like put a bowl of Doritos on my, right. Cause I love Doritos. And so then it was like, the ancestors were honored with a bag of Doritos to sort of like bless my new home space. Um, but again, if like any type of ancestry work is like newer to you, then that quality of play may not be immediately accessible.
I might seem really strange. Um, so the things that I'm, and also this piece around the idea of like, um, again, we all have ancestors who've done fucked up, shitty, awful things. And something that the work has taught me is that when that trauma is like hurt people, hurt people. And so when we get to the root of something and clear that out, um, there's a lot of love.
That can flow forward. So I think if you're looking to create or bring some play into your relationship with your [00:30:00] ancestors, I might say, start by looking at the things that bring you a bit of joy, whether it's like, um, Looking out at a particular flower or a branch that reaches up to your window. So, you know what I mean?
And then just imagining your ancestors, looking at it with you and like, you can show it to them, like a kid playing show and tell just to start cultivating that connection and that relationship of like, Hey, look at this really good hot dog. Whatever it is, like, just start showing them things that you think are really cool. And believe them when they like respond back with like lightness and with care. Yeah.
Kyley: the like little kid analogy. And I think the one thing that was coming to my mind too to add is like. Um, there aren't, there aren't rules again, coming from a, you know, Judeo Christian Catholic shame background. [00:31:00] Um, I see a lot of times people, um, you know, whether it's DD or ancestry, ancestor, to me, they're like often connected.
That's why I'm kind of slipping, swapping back and forth between the two, but in my personal practice, they're often connected, but, um, that there's this like fear that you're going to do it wrong and then you're going to get in trouble. Right. And it's like, you know, the other day, I, I don't leave offerings that often because my very practical husband is like, why is there just food on this? I understand that. So, um,
Eva: the way, I just want to interject and say, I'm one of those people who thinks I'm going to do it wrong. Cause I don't have a ton of like, I don't have a ton of experience with ancestor work. So like, I, I hear that 100%, like, I think it needs to be this really, I don't know, like sacred, serious, like holy thing and therefore, and then I'm just like, Oh, that doesn't sound like fun.
And then I don't really do it. We're
Kyley: particular ancestor or, or [00:32:00] again, a deity that has a good sense of humor, like my grandfather was like such a comedian. Like he was just a ridiculous character in so many ways. And like. when I connect to my grandmother who was like very devout to the blessed mother and like was a, was a, was a serious person in a lot of ways, like that feels like a very often, like very reverent, like I will go to her and be like, man, I'm very sad.
Please hold me in spirit. Right. But like connecting to my grandfather is like, you know, are you going to tell them how great I am or am I right? There's like a month. There's like, so, so I think that's one thing too, is like connect to and connect to an energy that. Already inherently has some playfulness to it.
I think that can be helpful. Um, but yesterday, the other day, um, so Ganesh has been showing up for me a lot lately. Um, uh, who, if you want a playful deity, uh, who won't immediately explode your entire life, like Loki will, I recommend Ganesh and, um, and, and he's been showing up and he [00:33:00] asked me for, um, To like put some, he asked me for an offering and I was like, Oh, okay.
I can never really do this, but sure. And so I put out some fruit gummies, uh, in a little bowl. He's like, wanted something sweet. And for anyone who's like, how do you know this? I just felt it. And maybe I was making it up, but I'm sure Ganesh was happy to have some fruit gummies. Right. So this is also part of like doing it wrong, doing it right.
It's like, I had an inclination. I went with it. It felt fun. And then later that day, my son came by and he was like eating them. And he was, and I was like, he was like, can I eat these as he's halfway done? And I was like, well, they're for Ganesh. What did he say? And Desi stops. And he like looks and he said, Ganesh said, they're okay.
As long as they leave a red one for him. And I was like, okay, again, maybe he's making it up because he wanted to eat them. Or maybe he had a little connection with Ganesh. It kind of doesn't matter because it's to, to me, it's like about like, Irreverent possibility, you know, and there's like connectivity.
And so then the other kind of just goofy story I'll share is I [00:34:00] had a, um, healing session the other day, nothing like a breakup to light up all the healing sessions. So I had one and the person was like, Hey, uh, before we start pour a glass of water for your ancestors and like, say your name over it. And so it felt like this very reverent invitation.
Right. And so I go to pour the glass of ancestor, pour water. And my ancestors, all Irish, a hundred percent Irish are like. We want a beer. And I was like, it's 1030 in the morning. And they were like, and we're Irish and time is not real. We would like a beer. And so, uh, and they're like, they're like. Not like one of those dark ones, you know, like they like picking, cause I had had a party the weekend before.
So I had like a fridge full of beer. Um, and so I like poured, you know, poured it into the cup and there was like a little bit left and they were like, there, we left some for you. I was like, it's 1030 in the morning. They were like, and, and it was just like, again, like [00:35:00] goofy and. And, um, and I think maybe I was, I think part of why we struggle with play when it comes to spirituality is because there's this sense of like, like when it's serious and we have this profound experience and touches us and we're crying spontaneously, it is a way that we're like, oh, well, that's real, but I think we discredit the moments that are like, just these goofy, you know, these like goofy, playful things is like, Insubstantial or I'm making it up or, um, or it might get in trouble if I do it wrong.
And, um, I don't know. I just want to say like, go make some shit up then see what happens.
Eva: Yeah, I mean, I'm, I'm feeling inspired. I love this. Like, I don't, yeah, it's just like not really in my framework to do those sorts of things, which is interesting because I actually grew up giving offerings like in Asia, you know, giving offerings and, and, and going to temples and all that stuff, but just in my regular life.
Anyway, I'm just like, yeah. To me, this could just be another entry way into imagination and play.[00:36:00]
Kyley: I love the Doritos that you love. Um, okay. Eva, you had a question about family constellations.
Eva: Well, you started off the conversation by talking about how some of the work that you do is helping people touch into becoming more aware of where in our bodies we're carrying shit that ain't ours or that we don't need to be carrying. And I was just like, uh, like I'm so like. I just, I just assume I'm carrying a bunch of shit that, um, you know, has been absorbed in some ways.
I guess I'm curious. Can you talk just more about that process and how does,
Meenadchi: Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So some like really easy ways to identify, like, am I carrying somebody else's baggage? Is like, One, if there's some particular type of like a life pattern that just like keeps fucking [00:37:00] looping. And you're like, I've been to therapy. I've done the journaling. Like, I can't get this shit to break.
You know, I can't shift it. Chances are there's something in your body, in your nervous system that is attached to something from someone who came before you. And like, that's the root anchor of
Eva: wait, wait. I'm so fascinated by this. So something looping, like you're talking about a habit or it can be something physical to like, for some reason, like my right side is always like the muscles in my right side are tighter. Can you give examples?
Meenadchi: Yeah, I think I'm talking more I yes to the physical stuff, but I feel like the physical stuff is not narrowly necessarily my area of expertise. There are constellation practitioners who work specifically with things like chronic illness and like body ailments. Um, I am talking more about like, um, I get my supposed dream job and then it turns out to be like a shit show, and I have to get out of that.
Immediately. And then I like find another job and the same thing, it just like crashes and is like the most terrible experience ever, or like, I [00:38:00] keep dating the same person, right, which I think is like a really common theme, but like these, these, um, behavioral loops where it's like, I thought I got past that.
I thought I knew better than to keep making this same choice over and over and over again. And so when we're caught in those negative behavioral patterns where we're, we are the common denominator, like there can be so many factors, right. And like places of responsibility, but when we are the common denominator, we have to look at something that's inside of us.
A lot of times when you're in a cycle like that, that you can't seem to shift. It will be connected to something from someone beforehand.
Kyley: I am having a real time kind of intense reaction. I kind of feel like my answer. I, you know, they're like, it's like started. Um, like my, my hips are just going back and forth. Like I started like, [00:39:00] like feeling the energy moving and, um, And, and I'll actually, I'll just give a, I'll just give the story, which is, um, one of the things that I've been angry about lately is I keep having these moments of, like, really profound surrender, specifically in this breakup and within it.
Like a day, something comes like roaring, some like often external stimuli comes like roaring in. It's like, ha ha JK. We're right back where we started. Not right back where we started, but also like, there's, there's a like loop. There's like a pursuit of relief and then like a very brief experience of relief and then like back in.
Right. Um, which, uh, you know, any, everything has multiple layers. Um, but. As you were saying that I was feeling this huge sense of like, essentially this, I'll tell you what, an ancestral attachment to shit, not working out.
Meenadchi: [00:40:00] Yeah.
Kyley: And like all my, like, you know, potato famine, you know, uh, colonized ancestors, you know, Irish version of that is, um, are like, we don't get things that work out.
Like we, we create safety by. Seeking safety because it's no longer guaranteed and hasn't been for a really long time. And I'm like, actually like real time. 'cause to your point, I, I've been actually like mad. That's part of why I got mad at my spirit crew the other day. 'cause I was like, I keep letting go.
Like, what? What, why? Like, what else do you want from me? Kind of anger.
Eva: And you actually, it was so Kylie and I were just talking about this earlier and you even said like, it doesn't feel like it feels like you were saying something like not you're doing, you know, is what you kind of said. You're like, I feel almost like something's fucking with you, you know?
Kyley: Yes. Yes. Yes. That's [00:41:00] exactly what it has. And again, like everything's happening for me. Each like re each loop back in has, has offered me something, but it's like, I'm, I'm tired and I'm tired of it hurting. Right. Um, and, um, yeah, and I, I, I can, like, I can real time feel my ancestors as you're speaking this being like, yeah, sorry.
We don't like things working out. We're very scared about that. Oh
Eva: Oh, I mean, actually you're here at the perfect time. Then
Meenadchi: I will,
Eva: help a sister out, help a sister out.
Kyley: no. Immediately. My grandfather's like, do I know my connections or do I know connections?
Meenadchi: okay. So one, I am also feeling things in my body. Cause that like, it really hits us true. And I think is a very, very common one for a lot of people. Even when, [00:42:00] even when you like intellectually know, like I'm amazing, my people are amazing, whatever underneath that shit is There and like, um, when we are trying to shift out of that and trying to be in a place of like, no, things can really work out for me and things can really be easy again, intellectually, we can do that.
But if the, if there's an ancestral attachment to things, not working out 1, that often happens because it can feel like. Um, well, a like things have never worked out for anybody in my lineage. And so it doesn't make any logical sense to believe that things will work out for me, but B if I shift and suddenly things do work out for me, then I'm abandoning everybody that I've come from and I'm betraying my lineage and I'm, I'm moving away from them instead of holding care and love and respect for them.
And I, And that also, I think, um, comes up a lot in like the ancestral healing work with like, both with relationships and also with money. [00:43:00] It's like, if there's ease in my life, then I'm, I am betraying the people who came before. And so I think the thing that I'll just. Offer, um, and also offered like to you, but also to anybody who's listening.
It's just the question of like, is it true? Is that really, is that really the case? Is that really the truth? Is that really like. The thing that will bring your ancestors the most joy, the most love, the most connection. Um, and yeah,
Kyley: Oh my gosh, you're giving me such a gift. I mean, I started to feel tears when you were talking about like abandoning and betraying Our ancestors with, like, right. It's like, who am I to have ease, right? If I look at all the sacrifices and suffering of who came before me, which, of course, I think our ancestors would answer.
Who are you not to right? Um, but also I'm feeling again, like, my grandfather, who was like, a very charismatic person, but [00:44:00] he had a lot of mental health issues. And so he was very smart. He was never really able to, like, Accomplish or like really kind of create stability or success in the way that he wanted to, which was a lot of caused a lot of suffering for him.
And he was, he's like, was always my biggest fan, right? Like I got like a job where I traveled to like, you know, Ohio sometimes for work. And he was like, she's my big shock granddaughter. Right. So anyways, I am. Yeah, I know he's the best, but I am, I'm, I'm, and I'm going to go like now, you know, have a little chat altogether later, but I'm like receiving.
Like, basically, it's like he's standing in this moment as this linchpin between the legacy of, it doesn't work out for us and, and it, and, and safety is in not, and safety is in that cycle and, and, and him offering like, Almost, he's like, what if we broke this together, you know, like, like, what if you, what if, yeah, what if you were the one who did all the things that, that we couldn't do.[00:45:00]
Right. Um, so, okay. Thank you. Wow. Amazing. Gonna go cry with Grampy later today. I'll let y'all know how it goes.
Eva: Oh, yeah.
Kyley: Oh,
Eva: Wait, there's, I'm assuming there's more. There's more though.
Kyley: for me.
I
Eva: mean, Meenadchi
Yeah,
Kyley: yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. Sorry. Cause I just immediately was like, whoa, me, my story. Thanks everybody.
Meenadchi: let me, okay, hang on, I'm going to pause and just like slow down and, and yeah. Uh huh. Um, what were we talking about just, oh, we were talking about the site, how to recognize if you're, if like the thing is like a, um, some ancestral gunk as
Kyley: Mm-Hmm.
Meenadchi: like, yeah, yeah.
Eva: it's how to know if it's living, you're carrying something
Meenadchi: Somebody else's stuff. Yeah. Um, I think
So couple other ways of like being able to assess am I carrying somebody else's stuff? Right. Um, [00:46:00] one, some of it, some of it comes back to just like knowledge, I think, you know what I mean? So like a geeky science fact, which I adore is the fact that, um, for all of us, when, when my grandmother. My mama was when she was pregnant.
So she got pregnant with my Emma in 1953. So in like May of 1953, my mother was a fetus, a five month old fetus. At that time, her reproductive system came online, which means that the eggs that would become me and my siblings came online in May of 1953, which means my genetics have been shaped and coaxed and cajoled by the things that my grandmother was living through, like the stress factors, whatever it was that she was navigating.
Was shaping the way my genes [00:47:00] turn on and off and the way that I react to stressors in my environment. And then you add in the fact that like, then my mother was born and she had her, you know, 30 years of her life where things were happening to her and around her before I actually came into the world.
Um, so, you know, epigenetics really just looks at like. How do those factors shape us? Right. I was just talking to somebody yesterday who was like reminding me about this study about like, um, you know, there was like a, a study where like this group of like rats were punished, like, and they would like hear a bell, whatever.
Right. And then they get really, really scared. And then their kids, even though their kids had never experienced that punishment, their kids, whenever that bell would go off, their kids would have the same kind of like startle. Reaction, right? So if you're not even aware that these things are affecting you, then it can feel like wishy washy woo woo of like, [00:48:00] that's not even true.
How can I be affected by something that didn't happen before me? But if you have a little bit of awareness of like, Oh no, it is possible. I see similarities and patterns between the things, the way I behave and the way like people before me behaved, um, then that is like, um, It's just a good idea to give ancestral healing ago.
And then the last thing I'll say is that I often tell people like, um, in certain types of like, um, like when I'm working with people on like money trauma stuff, and they'll often have the question of like, um, Is this like some energetic ancestral healing gunk that needs handling, or am I just not running my business correctly?
You know what I mean? And I'm like, if you've tried one, like if you've been in so many different business coaching programs and you've like tried all these structural logistics with your business, it's time to try the other. And so similarly for whatever issue it is that you're like working with, if you've tried X, Y, Z modalities to, to [00:49:00] help.
Bring healing to a certain aspect of your life, and it just hasn't worked. It's a good idea to give ancestral healing ago.
Kyley: I love what you're saying here about like, if you've tried, um, it's making me think of, um, this conversation I had with my son who's seven and he was having a hard time about some stuff at school. Um, and he was just basically like speaking to things, a certain certain set of things being, being challenging.
And I asked him a question that I knew the answer to. I was like, are you, are you, are you doing your best? And he was like. And it's like, I know you are, so if you're doing your best and it's not working, it means you need better tools and a better plan. And that's on, that's on us, your parents and your teachers to help you with, um, and, and I, I love using that anecdote because, you know, I think there's so many times that we're just like, I [00:50:00] just have to, like, I just have to keep trying harder.
Right. Like, it's just, it's just me. It's just me to the back. We're talking with the beginning. It's just me isolated. And if I can't make it work, it's because I'm wrong. And I need to like effort better and like, and, and, and, and control. And,
Eva: Work harder, push harder, pick myself up by the bootstraps, that whole
Kyley: yeah, like all of my suffering is like, I'm to blame and, um, you know, like really painful way. So I really love you pointing out, like, Yeah, if you've tried strategy, or if you've tried like, you know, the top level approach, whether it's business or life or any other aspect, and it's not working, it's probably because you need better tools and a different plan.
Meenadchi: Okay,
Eva: consolation? Okay, and I, I just, I'm sorry, just for, just for context, because the reason I'm asking, I'm so curious, because we, so I'm here in Brazil and we have this retreat space. [00:51:00] And they did, they, and people rent out the space. And one of the people, one of the facilitators was the family consolation person.
And it was all in Portuguese. So I couldn't understand. I was just sort of observing. But what I understood is like, people were playing out the roles of people's family members. And I was like, wait, what the fuck is going on? Like, this is so weird. But also what I had heard was that it was like extremely effective.
People were just like blown away.
Meenadchi: yeah. Okay. Family consolation therapy is a therapeutic modality to clear intergenerational trauma from your body and to put things back into what's called right relationship or right alignment, which essentially is that, uh, children should not be caretaking for their, you know, Their parents, their caregivers, et cetera, children, a child's responsibility is to become an awesome human being and go do good things in the world.
And I think I'll just say like one more quote that I has been coming up often is this quote from Howard Thurman, who said, don't ask what the world [00:52:00] needs. Ask what makes you come alive? Because what the world needs is people who have come alive. And I think that that is regardless of your spiritual beliefs, et cetera.
If we're looking for what the fuck is our purpose, why are we here? It is simply put to become to become alive and to do good things, right? Um, so family constellation work, um, It's descended from Zulu medicine. So the, the developer of family constellation therapy, that person who's often credited is a guy named Bert Hellinger, who was like a missionary priest and later like develop this therapeutic modality.
Um, but it is, it's anchored in these kinds of like Zulu principles of like, our ancestors are with us at all times and like shaping things around us. And then the modality itself. Uh, so one. Uh, I am like a very expansive practitioner. I'm part of the reason why I started studying family constellation work as a queer person of color was because I was like, this [00:53:00] tool is magic.
I see it, but some of the way I see it being used is not actually like the vibe. It's not effective. So I want to learn it so that I can do it in a way that like better serves my community. Um, And also, like, is truer to what I think,
Eva: Yep.
Meenadchi: like, yeah. So that's one, like, I have a very, very, um, expansive definition of ancestry.
That's true for me when I'm facilitating, I'm not necessarily, I'm not like a conventional facilitator. Like, it doesn't mean we're going to bring in your mom or your dad and you're this and you're that, you know what I mean? Because also place is a part of our, our lineage, like the land where you were raised has like, what information into your body or like, um, you know, again, just like different energies and entities can all be part of, of what's happening and what's at work.
Um, And then the other thing is that it's a little [00:54:00] bit like trying to describe the ocean to someone who's from a landlocked country. Like I literally, I can tell you some things about how water feels and I can tell you how like salt hits your hair and it's going to like frizz everything out, but in such a delicious way.
But it's so different from being able to actually understand what the modality does. But one way that I'll try and explain it is that like, you know, whenever we're making a decision, we have like all kinds of like feelings in our tummy is right. Like the tension, the, this, the, that, um, and what family constellation work does. Is we kind of like, it's almost like we identify who are, who are, what are all the factors that are like becoming that ball in your tummy. Right. So maybe it is things that your mother has said to you. Um, maybe it is this like seven year old version of you, the like things that were happening. Right. Maybe it was.
The chronic illness that started after a particular incident of trauma, et cetera. And so, um, we'll [00:55:00] give, um, bring representatives in. So when I'm facilitating group work, um, which I do in person and online, people will become those representatives. Um, when I'm doing like one on one work, we'll use objects like in Yule.
Well, like move objects around. And then this is the part that I cannot explain. But once we bring the representative out, it's almost like we, we extract that particular color, that particular flavor, that particular feeling. And, and then that representative becomes more clear in like the body sensations that are present.
And it's like the thing becomes unknotted and untangled. And we can look at more, um, from a, from just like a, a, shifted perspective, what's causing the knot in my tummy. And then if it's, if it's this particular thing over here, like maybe it was like my mother had a particular traumatic thing happened to her, which is then the causing the ripple effect for discomfort for me, the thing about [00:56:00] trauma. Is that it's, it is only traumatic if it's swept under the rug, like, it's a really ironic thing, right? But it's like, if something shitty happens, but we're allowed to talk about it, we're allowed to process it, it actually doesn't wind up hurting so much. But when we try and sweep it under the rug is when it begins to like, get, yeah, it just gets right.
So when we see, ah, this is the root cause of, of what was causing all of this. Yeah. And we give it a little bit of space and we let it shift and move so that it's not all consuming. Something eases in our own body. And it's like all of those things become kind of like pieces that are part of our lineage or our history, but we don't become beholden to them.
And people usually wind up feeling like a sense of like, I get to choose what I do now moving forward. And I get to have choice. As I craft my life. [00:57:00] How confusing was that? How helpful was that?
Eva: I'm a little confused, I will say. I think maybe Kylie, you seem, are you, are you, I think you're muted, Kylie.
Kyley: Oh, I'm all in. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm all in on it. I see it. I feel it, but it also feels also not dissimilar from the way I experienced like my own personal practice and some of what I facilitate. Not, not, it, there's a, there's a, there's a Venn diagram overlap that I think is giving me a little bit deeper access to.
One of the things that I'm constantly just in awe of is like, You, everything feels like this, like jumbled knot of sensations and confusion and overwhelm and, and it, when, when there's a sticky subject or a sticky issue or a sticky pattern. And then we have these moments, which it sounds like what you're facilitating where, um, we just start to be able to see what is [00:58:00] making up the knot, right.
And what is able to like, what's, what the different threads are. And then what I'm hearing you speak to is how, once something's witnessed, as you said, I love the word, you're no longer beholden to it. Um, um, um, yeah. So I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm in it, I'm experiencing it, but Evo, you can
Eva: like really caught up in the technicality, technical, like, uh, of course I am, like my type A brain. Okay.
Kyley: I'm laughing.
Eva: yes, exactly. Like I'm caught up in the technical, I want to understand the technical, um, Like mechanisms of it and again, we don't have to go into like a whole long thing, but, but I think my question is simply that let's say you're doing this in a group is like Kylie playing out.
Let's just say it's like, it's Kylie playing out a role as like, as somebody in my life. Is that how that works?
Meenadchi: okay. Eva, I think you were asking, like, is Kylie like role playing [00:59:00] something? No, this is the part that I cannot explain. We, okay. So one, the technicalities. We just identified what are the factors that are pot, potentially like involved or fucking things up.
Like what are the, what are the factors that are at play? That's how I identified the representatives, right?
Eva: Okay. So I can, again, I'm so into like the practicality. I like to like, make things really down to earth. So essentially, let's just say my whole story is that like, I have a story of unworthiness. What are the things that are making, causing that? Like, not, and it's like, okay, what my mom said to me, or some abandonment issue, what my mom said, how she treated me, and like, whatever, alcohol.
Well, yeah, again, I can just make things up. Uh, this thing that happened in sixth grade, you know, I'm like listing the five things of like, is that what you mean? So then those are the. Those are the things. Okay.
Meenadchi: I'll start by asking you what you want, like, what do you want to achieve? What do you want to receive? Um, to all healing work is like a croissant, like there's so many layers. Um, so we'll just kind of go in on one particular layer. Right. Um, [01:00:00] and so based on what you tell me you want. I will then ask followup questions, like just kind of exploratory to understand the issue.
And then some of it is like my intuition of like, guessing what are the factors that are coming into this. Right. So again, if we use that, like if you say, I want to feel worthy of having everything that I want in my life, the two representatives that I might start us off with are a representative for you and a representative for your inhibition because this is the place where we want to see a state of transformation, right? We want to, we want. We want you to be connected to your inhibition in a way that you are totally uninhibited.
Eva: Uh huh.
Meenadchi: That your inhibition is like, fuck all, let go,
Eva: Yes. Exactly. Exactly. That's the, that is the vibe for sure. It's like, woohoo!
Meenadchi: Uh huh. So then I will ask questions. So [01:01:00] some example questions that I'll offer and you can toss back answers. Was there a time in your life where you remember going from being really uninhibited to suddenly starting to being more self conscious? Yeah.
Eva: like offered this up, I didn't actually mean to put myself in the hot seat, but now I'm now
Kyley: no, you're in. You're in
Eva: So let's just go. God damn it. Okay. Um, a time when I was uninhibited to being, um, let me think.
I think, yes, actually, the thing that comes to mind, surprisingly, it isn't really a small, a young childhood memory. It's more like when I was in high school, and feeling like I was very exploratory. I was rebellious. I was like, kind of like the black sheep. Of my friend crew and I just felt like I was different and I was exploring and I was like, smoking weed and, and that was very, looked down upon.
It was like, Nope, you can't do that. You need to, that's like bad, you know, kind of re felt like having to rein it in or hide [01:02:00] actually,
Meenadchi: Okay. And question. Were you having to like the people who were kind of like making you feel like this was a bad thing? Was it your friend group that was making you feel that way?
Eva: yes. I mean, I think unintentionally, but that was how I experienced it. Like, I felt shame and guilt and frustration. Mm-Hmm.
Meenadchi: Mm hmm. So this is an example, for example, like of like, um, When I say ancestral healing, like all of the people in your life are part have shaped you, right? So including those friends. So I think a conventional constellation facilitator might say, let's bring in your mom or your dad or, you know, whatever your culture background is.
And for me, as I'm listening to you, what I'm hearing is that this stuff is actually anchored in the relationships that you had with your friends at that particular time. And the kind of like the, the, Social environment that was like that you were coming up in right so then I might say, okay, let's bring in a representative for friends [01:03:00] that matter to you or like people that matter to you.
We might bring in a representative, um, for that younger version of you, like the, you know, 14, 15, something year old who, like, knew how to be free and then suddenly had to, like, start hiding. That stuff. Um, and I in this moment, I feel sort of curious, like if you got to be totally uninhibited, what would that give you access to?
Eva: Um, my complete power. And that feels.
Meenadchi: Okay. Yes.
Eva: a complicated thing to,
Meenadchi: Okay, then I would also want to bring in a representative for your power, and we would do this kind of like, slowly, um, and exploring sort of like, somatically. What is it that starts to change? Because again, like, even as I'm, I'm starting to name some of these things, I can see sort of like.
Sparkles of [01:04:00] light bulbs or like thoughts or whatever, you know, kind of like happening for you. Cause again, that's the thing we've like hide all this stuff or like, just don't look at it explicitly. And then when we start looking at it, we're like, Oh shit, this can be something different. Um, and then this is the piece that I don't know how to explain, but there's, it lives in the world of magic.
If we had, so whether we were working with people or with objects, right. But let's say, um, let's say for the sake of exploration, we're working with people. So Kylie is in as a representative for your power. Somebody else is in as a representative for like that friend group. And somebody else is in as a representative for, um, for like that younger version of you, they would start feeling body sensations.
And they're not role playing. They're not making stuff up. It's almost like once you just step into a role, like it's almost like they begin to attune to [01:05:00] whatever the gunk is. And the number of, of times, like, Random ass shit where I've had like a representative, um, like, uh, a represent, what did I have? I can't remember what I had recently, but it was like, I had a representative in and they were like, my throat feels like it's clogged, but like it's clogged with ice. And I checked in with the person who was receiving the constellation. And they were like, that's exactly how I feel when I'm in that situation. Like, that's the part that I cannot explain how those body sensations begin to come online. Yeah. Yeah. Do you want me to pause because I feel like I see you having thoughts or something is
Eva: I just want to say, so this is exactly what my friend said, who, who has done family consolation. She's like, I, it's the same thing. She's like, I cannot explain it, but she's like, it's fucking wild. Like people are just picking up. It's almost like they're mind reading or, or they're psychic because they're going back and experiencing.
Something that the person received it had had previously experienced. And I'm like, that, that's cool.[01:06:00]
Kyley: for the record. The second you, uh, nodded to me standing in as Eva's power, my throat got so fucked up,
Eva: Interesting.
Kyley: like a little bit in my chest, but a lot in my throat of like, um, like more of the feeling of being like stuffed with cotton balls or like dirt, and then also like this, like, like hunger to like, like this, like The hunger to scream and the feeling of like, impossibility, like, like, like, almost like a clawing to access, like this, like lost energy because it's all full of cotton or dirt.
Eva: Minachi, what do you have to say? So I will say like all of my, everything is always in my throat. Like anytime I'm doing it, it's like, where do you feel this in your throat? It's always in my throat. Like, ah, but is that, is that what you mean? Minachi? Like that? So Kylie's my representative. So she's representing how my power feels.
Meenadchi: Yes. But it's not that she's, [01:07:00] I don't know how to, she's not, she's not making stuff up. She's not role playing. She's not imagining, but somehow when she steps into that representative, she automatically begins feeling things that are connected to the way power lives in your body. And the way you're able to access your power and so then the work that we would do and all of this for me as a facilitator gives me information about like, where the clogs are, why the clerks are, you know what I mean, like, and I think, you know, In this case, Kylie is in, you know, like, as like, she's already gathering information.
We don't have anybody coming in as representative for, like, that social group or the younger version of you, you know what I mean? So there's like information for me as a facilitator that I would need to know in order to be like, here's how we unclog. That thing so that power can feel open so that inhibition can feel [01:08:00] playful.
Um, but that is the mechanics of like, as I gather that those information, the body sensations, I can then facilitate next steps. For everything to be released so that ultimately, you know, the kind of like desired outcome of this piece of work would be for power to feel like it can open its throat and say whatever it wants to say.
And for inhibition to feel like, um, it has. Unlimited ability to be with you in the way you want it to be with you.
Eva: Wow. I could see how this could just be very helpful and a total trip. Yeah. Thank you so much. I'm already getting a lot out of this. Interesting.
Meenadchi: Yeah, because we're kind of tapped in. I'm just gonna have you tell Eva, I'm gonna have you tell Kylie I release you from your role, just so she can clear that from Yeah.
Eva: see from your [01:09:00] role.
Kyley: thank you.
Meenadchi: Yeah.
Eva: So we're actually coming close to close to the end of our time, but, but is there anything that we didn't ask you that you wanted us to ask you Meenadchie? Anything that you want to talk about before we sort of start winding down?
Meenadchi: Hmm. I think the thing that I will, two things that I'll share. Um, 1, you don't have to have done this work before in order for it to be accessible. The only thing that's important is that you want to try that. You want to explore it. And then the other thing, which I think I did touch on at the beginning, but, like, um.
The thing that I love about this work is that you can not look, not everybody in your life is going to heal. Not everybody in your life is going to want to go down any particular path. Right. But like this work can really shift things so that you can have a healthy relationship with people because you can receive the sort of like [01:10:00] acknowledgement, accountability, and freedom.
Um, so that you can have the relationship that you want to have with those people, or like, You know, just so, so that you don't have to feel so fucking tense all the time around certain people in your family or your environment.
Eva: Yeah.
Meenadchi: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Ooh.
Kyley: Well, I have like a two pages of notes. So I have like, because I took and listeners, I would really recommend if you weren't doing this stuff, like go back and listen to Meenadchie's walking Eva through, put your own thing at the top. Because as you were asking those questions, I took this like pattern of things not working out, right?
That pattern of like right back in the soup. I just asked the questions. That you were asking Eva, um, which is of course not, I mean, really people should just go book a session with you and work with you. But in the meantime, um, I'm, I was really I really loved what was starting [01:11:00] to reveal itself. And so I feel, um, a very rich little gift was delivered on my doorstep today and I'm pretty jazzed to go sit with it.
Eva: Yeah, I want to, yeah, explore this more too. This is really fascinating to me. Especially since Kylie, you were like, well, you know, you felt like my power was ready to like just fucking scream,
Kyley: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Eva: a little bit right. Okay. Um, how are you ladies feeling about doing Joy?
Kyley: Yeah.
Eva: Okay. Uh, Meenatchi, what's one thing that's bringing you joy right now in your life?
Kyley: You take your time.
Meenadchi: there are many things that are, oh, you know, I'll tell you something that's bringing me joy.
Um, I so I'm currently in Mexico. I'm living in Mexico for this year. And there are some really gentle relationships that are forming. And like, um, so after we get off our call, I'm going to take my laundry [01:12:00] down to the laundromat. And, um, I really love seeing the woman who runs that shop. And one of the nicest things that had happened a couple weeks ago.
was I had gone, they open at nine. Um, but you know, they just weren't open yet. Cause sometimes it's nine 15 or nine 20 or whatever, you know what I mean? But so I had gotten there just a little after nine and kind of hung around for a bit and then was kind of like bummed, like, okay, like either they're going to open much later or I don't know what, you know what I mean, but I gotta, I can't.
stay forever. And I started to leave. And all of a sudden I heard my name being called. And I was like, what is going on? Like, who, who is it that knows me here? And I turned around and it was the, it was like the owner of the laundromat. And she was like, I was trying to remember your name. I was trying to remember your name.
Cause she just knows me from when I drop off my laundry, you know what I mean? Um, but I, so like, that was just like a really, um, sweet moment of recognition. And I'm looking forward to [01:13:00] seeing her later today
Eva: Oh, that is really sweet. Well, I think especially like, I know that experience of like being somewhere new and to be recognized and to have like a connection in that way, it can feel really nourishing like a small, I don't know if I call it small, but yeah, just those moments of connection, especially I assume.
How long have you been in Mexico
Meenadchi: since February.
Eva: since February? Yeah. Yeah. So, so. Yeah. You're still, it's still new new ish. I think anyway, that sounds exciting.
Kyley: love that. What about you Eva? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Eva: Um, well, I'm just going to go ahead and continue with the theme of being uninhibited. And Kylie and I had a call earlier this morning and she basically had like channeled something for me about how I'm here to, or I, you know, I, I'm here to let in a bit uninhibition [01:14:00] live in my being, right? Kylie, is that how you'd said it?
Kyley: Yeah, yeah, we were laughing at first because like, I can't remember even exactly what I said, so that's how you know it's like shooting through you like lightning, but yeah, it's like inhibition to be uninhibited, like you have your very beingness, have an essence of being uninhibited.
Eva: Uninhibited. Yes. And, and I'm talking like, because anyone who listens to the podcast, I'm hungry for, I'm talking like capital F freedom. Like I'm going, I'm talking all going all the way. And so, yes, I consider myself a free person. And also once I get more free, I realized there's just another layer and depth of freedom that I can experience until I go all the fucking way.
And, and after our call with Kylie, I was so moved because what I was experiencing was like, just noticing all the people in my life who I can be uninhibited around Kylie. You're definitely one of them. Federico is another one of them. Like some folks here in Brazil. Like I, I [01:15:00] started crying tears of gratitude because I was like, I know that there are people who I, who I don't feel that way around and it.
It maybe has nothing to do with them. It could be my own stories. And then you have those people who you are just totally your fucking self. And not only are you yourself, but they bring it out of you more and they want you to be like the messy and the, you know, when I'm trying to keep it all together, like it's like these loving people who are like, no, just like show me all of it.
And I'm like, so grateful that I have those people, these people in my life that make it safe for me to actually experience that it's safe to be uninhibited, because that's what my fear is. It's like, if I'm totally uninhibited, I'm going to be, you know, whatever.
Kyley: Yeah.
Eva: Scary, wild, crazy, whatever. All the,
Kyley: out of love.
Eva: yeah, cast out of love.
But instead of what I'm really experiencing is like a group of people who are holding me in my wildness and just, I'm so moved. Yeah, so moved. I think that's, that's [01:16:00] how I'm feeling.
Kyley: I love your wildness.
Eva: Thanks, Kylie. All right, you're up.
Kyley: okay. This is a weird joy. Um, so if you listen to the last two episodes or even saw them on your little feed, the last two episodes we released, I was sharing about how, you know, Liz and I, did we break up or did you just leave? We don't, let's be honest, right? I, you know,
Eva: A friendship ended. A big,
Kyley: a friend, a very, very, very important relationship ended abruptly and overnight and without me getting a lot of.
Input in the matter. And as I shared in the episode, it's the episodes, it's been really heartbreaking I had told myself the story. That, you know, releasing the episode was like a, a way of giving myself closure that I never got in the relationship. And also was like, you know, like [01:17:00] comeback moment, right?
Of like, okay, that's the past closing the book. We're onto the new. And, and I didn't even realize how much I was doing that. But, um, but also I think we have, like, we need all the, sometimes we need all the crutches we can get to get to the next leg of the, of the journey when things are really hard. And, um, Anyway So, you know, I think I expected that story would come out and then I would like have a victory laugh.
Eva: Yeah. You thought it was like a redemption, you know?
Kyley: I, yeah, I really thought I would be like, you know, swanning around in my best dresses. No, everybody, I ugly cried for a fucking week. I mean, like snot, like just totally devastated. Like, you know, in a way that I hadn't actually experienced for a while. I mean, I don't know that I've ever truly had many days in a row where I have been totally unaffected by this.
But like, I mean, it was. I had like cleared my schedule for the week because I was going to be doing some more deeper creative work for my business. And instead I was like, Oh, no, we are [01:18:00] just deep, deep, deep in grief. And, um, I hated it. I mean, Eva got a lot of crying voice notes from me, right? I caught a lot of moments of like, I can't actually, I mean, I was at some points having this feeling of like, I can't, I don't know how this pain fits inside of me.
Like, I don't know what to like, I don't know what to do. Right. And, you know, It's about, it's about what happened and it's about old wounds and it's about what happened all at the same time. But anyway, and so this is a weird thing to say for my joy, because it has been a re this past week has been. Like grueling, Lee difficult.
Um, and I've been alive,
Meenadchi: Hmm.
Kyley: you know, like it's, it's real. And I have, I have had some moments of like really transcendent enjoyment. I'm just also at moments at this point in my experience. I also [01:19:00] have lots of moments where like, I'm like very, very, very, very genuinely happy and like present in my life and like joyful way.
It's not the kind of grief where. You're just kind of distracting yourself when you're not actively crying. It's like, I fucking fall apart. And then I'm like, okay. And now I'm like, you know, feel your feelings and then feel good kind of vibe. But, um, um, but again, not out of like gaslighting. It's just the genuine experience.
But anyway, um, yeah, it's been awful. It's been really awful and it's real. And it's, it has been me choosing to like not abandon myself in my pain. And that is love.
Eva: Yeah. Let that in baby
girl.
Kyley: Mandachi, how can people find you and work with you and, and soak up some more of your magic?
Meenadchi: Yeah, so I'm real easy to find. My website is my name, Meenatchi. com. And [01:20:00] then I'm on Instagram, with. meenatchi. And the two ways that I'll invite people to come work with me is either one on one, and I love doing, um, my one on one work is a 10 week container of like really Deep intimate, beautiful work. And then the alternate is to join a practice group, which is also beautiful, deep, intimate work.
Um, but also, uh, kind of like a gentler entry point because you don't have to be the prime focus every time, but we meet the second Saturday or second Sunday, sorry, of each month. And I have, uh, one. Constellation practice group that is for all people. And then another practice group that is specific for black, indigenous and people of color.
So I'll say come to one of those things.
Kyley: Oh, that's an incredible.
Eva: that's awesome. Thank you so much for coming on our show. This was really a lovely conversation.
Meenadchi: Thank you both for having me and I really and for pushing me to get [01:21:00] really technical with how does this math work because I think I also sort of love technical things. And so I really enjoyed breaking it down in that way. So
Eva: good. Cause yes, I will do that.
Meenadchi: Thank you.
Kyley: Yeah.